La Belle Vie
by It's Fnicking Awesomeness
Summary: 'The Beautiful Life'. Fax, Niggy, Ella/Gazzy/AngelxOC. Best happy story ever! Lots of babies, new powers, and a new enemy. After MAX- end of FANG and ANGEL didn't happen. First chapter is background info.
1. Background

**A/N: Me: Hey everybody! I am sooooooooooooooo excited for this story!**

**Fang: She hasn't stopped talking about it for a month. It's been fun *sarcasm***

**Me: I brainstormed, planned, re-planned, and figured out this story from beginning to end! I am really really really really really really really *10 minutes later* really really really really really really really re-**

**Fang: WE GET IT!**

**Me: … you… you… you… YOU YELLED AT ME! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH WAAAAAAAHHH *sobs uncontrollably***

**Fang: B! I… I didn't… please don't… come on… I mean….**

**Me: *still sobbing***

**MooMoo: Smooth, Fang.**

**Rawr: As butter.**

**Fang: ARGH! She doesn't own MR… or me… no matter what she says. Okay… better do this for her- Fact: She is a very picky eater. Like… no mayo/mustard, almost no veggies/salads, no foreign anything, you get the picture.**

**MooMoo: Oh yeah… and this chapter is completely background. **

**Rawr: So skip if you want to. ANGEL and FANG didn't happen.**

Max POV

I sighed, staring at the sunset over the Pacific Ocean. I leaned back into Fang's chest while he stroked my hair. I loved days like this, where I could just be with my boyfriend- no… _soul mate_ is a better word- soul mate alone, just the two of us.

I tilted my head back and kissed him, upside down. He chuckled, and kissed me again, this time longer.

You see, we saved the world. It's New Year's Day of 2011. I had been thinking about alone time with Fang, which had been sadly lacking, and Angel butted in. Although… her mind reading does come in handy at times like this.

I silently looked back at the past year.

After I rescued my mom, we all came back to Arizona. The flock have a separate house from my mom and Ella. We moved closer to the shore, since we all loved the beach. Well… Fang and I have had some pretty bad experiences on beaches…. Anyway.

A lot had changed. Soon after Fang and I… got together… last year, Nudge and Iggy did too. It was a bit of a shock, and Fang wasn't happy about it at first.

_Flashback_

_I took Fang's hand and tugged him towards the living room. He promised me he would watch Gossip Girl with me, since he's just that amazing of a boyfriend._

_I walked into the room, facing him, when he went stiff as a board. Fearing the worse- had M-Geeks come back?- I whirled around. I saw, not M-Geeks, but Nudge and Iggy. On the couch. Together. Connected by the mouth. If you catch my drift. No? Well… they were making out._

_I coughed loudly. The two broke apart, blushing like crazy. _

"_M-m-Max!" Nudge stammered. "We were just- that is to say- I wanted to-" I held up my hand._

"_Iggy- you hurt her, I'll make it so you can never have children." I said, then walked out with Fang. Not before seeing the utter joy, and relief, on their faces._

_Fang all of a sudden pulled me into my room. "What the heck?" he said, his face furious. Shocked, I backed away._

"_Well, obviously they're happy, so what's the big deal?" I said defensively._

_He glared. "Isn't Nudge a little… young to be dating?" _

"_She's thirteen. Only a year behind us when we got together! Besides… she's known Iggy her whole miserable life! We know he's not just a pervert trying to get in her pants!" I whisper yelled._

_He mumbled something that sounded incredibly like "As far as you know." under his breath,_

"_What?" I snapped._

"_Nothing." He said curtly, then walked out._

It was actually pretty sweet. Though they were pretty heavy on the PDA. Gazzy's almost afraid to be in the room when they're together.

And then… Ella. She was pretty serious with this Ian kid. I still don't 100% trust him. It's more like… 95% trust. Of course, it was Nudge and Iggy all over again, except the roles were reversed.

Fang said she could do what she liked, while I was very "over" protective of her. Apparently. She's just… the only blood little sister I have, you know? I want her to be happy. I gave him the same warning, although probably a bit more graphic and nightmare-giving.

Then, everyone got new powers. Like… at once. (We still have our old ones). It was one of the freakiest things I've ever seen. One minute, we're watching Spongebob, the next, we all jump up at the same time and say "Whoa! I think I have a new power!"

Let's see… I have, limited, telekinesis. For small things. It is sick nasty. (Super speed and breathe underwater).

Fang can control fire and water now. Iggy and Gazzy have tried to get him to help them with bombs, but he knows I would murder him if he did. So he doesn't. (Invisibility and breathe underwater).

Iggy can heal minor and moderate injuries. It was pretty ironic, considering he was always the best doctor out of the flock. (Sense colors and see when 'blinded').

Nudge can make hallucinations. Like, she can make you see things that aren't there. She once made me see a unicorn. Let's just say she won't be doing that to me anytime soon. (Draw metal and feel emotions).

Gazzy has like… super strength. Not exactly, but he's the strongest one out of all of us now. He just doesn't know how to use it. I can still whoop his little butt in sparring. (Mimicking and atomic fart).

Angel didn't exactly get a new power, but her shape shifting is complete. Like, she can completely become a bird of paradise or whatever. (Read/control minds, breathe underwater, talk to fish, and shape shift).

I was jolted out of my reverie by Fang gently shaking me. "Max? You okay?" He looked at me with smoldering eyes.

I smiled back. "I'm fine."

He gave a quick grin and kissed me. He drew back, and I kissed him. I drew back, and… yea you get the point. It tuned into… well, a lot more… quickly.

**A/N: Me: *still sobbing***

**Fang: Jeez, B, how long can you cry?**

**MooMoo: Poor Fang. He doesn't know how to deal with tears.**

**Rawr: Let's show him how it's done. *both hug B***

**Me: Aww… *sniff* thanks, guys!**

**Fang: O.o**

**Me: *glare at Fang* Voila! The beginning of a 45 chapter master piece! I know it was kind of boring, but in chapter two the real story starts! Fact: I am at my grandma's house typing this right now. I love spending time at my grandma's!**

**Fang: Can we go to bed yet?**

**Me: *glare* No! I have to post this!**


	2. What?

**A/N: Me: So… just so you know, this story is going to have a lot of jumps in time. **

**Fang: She's too lazy to write that much to make it flow.**

**Me: Rawr?**

**Rawr: *raises weasel***

**Fang: *zip***

**Me: I thought so. Anyway… so I'll put the date at the top of every chapter so you know where it is. Fact: I am (about) 25% Italian, 50% German, and 25% British.**

**MooMoo: On with the story!**

January 28, 2011

Max POV

I grumbled as sunlight came through the crack in my curtain, and, of course, hit my face. I rolled over and buried my head in Fang's chest.

Yea, we share a room/bed. So what? We're… responsible.

Fang snorted and hugged me. I sighed happily.

We just lied there for a few minutes, enjoying the calm before everyone else woke up.

Suddenly, my stomach gave off a horrible pang, and I tasted copper at the back of my throat.

I threw Fang's arms of off me and lurched to the bathroom. I heard him rush after me as I knelt next to the toilet.

What happened next… was not pretty by any means. Fang just held my hair back and rubbed circles between my wings.

When I finished, I took a, somewhat shaky, breath and leaned against the toilet.

"What was that about?" Fang asked, staring at me. I shook my head and shrugged my shoulders, not wanting to open my mouth anytime soon.

He nodded hesitantly before picking me up and putting me back on the bed. I gave some feeble protest, weakly smacking him on the arm, but I was too tired to actually do anything. I fell back asleep soon after my head hit the pillow again.

****

I was woken up by another stomach pang, and by throwing up… again. Fang ran in while I was standing up to brush my teeth. He looked at me, concern obvious in his eyes, while I cleaned myself up.

Feeling better, I walked downstairs with Fang. As I passed by Nudge's room, I heard her, Angel, and Ella talking about something.

"No, blue doesn't go with green! Not even teal or aqua! Try the khaki!" I shook my head. I would never understand fashion.

I walked into the kitchen, feeling up to some eggs and bacon. What I heard went something like this:

"Dude, let me tell you- the best place to meet girls is outside the grocery store!" Iggy, of course.

"Really? How do you get them?" Gazzy?

"Well, all you have to do is-"

"Good morning, sexist pig and mini sexist pig!" I yelled as I walked in.

They both jumped and looked up at me. Gazzy was sheepish, but Iggy was just grinning.

I huffed and said, "Iggy I want some eggs. With bacon. Oh, also- add some peanut butter in that, will ya? Ooh, you know what else would taste good on it? Apples. Yup, sliced apples right on top. Thanks, Ig!"

The three boys in the kitchen stared at me- well, not Iggy, but he- oh never mind- like I was crazy.

"What?" I snapped.

Iggy was the first to reply. "You just asked for an egg-bacon-peanut butter-and–apple omelet. That's not normal. At all."

I frowned and shrugged. "It's just what I'm hungry for."

Gazzy made an 'eww' face. For some reason, that made me snap.

"You know what? I feel like I should just get what I asked for, you know? It's not like you have to eat it! I just asked for a simple breakfast, and you have to blow it all out of proportion! Ugh!" I stomped out of the kitchen and into my bedroom.

I heard a quiet knock. "Max?" Fang.

"Go away."

"No."

"Come on."

"No."

"Please?"

"NO!"

I heard him sigh and walk away. I suddenly felt bad about yelling at him. Wait… am I… crying? Jeez, with all these emotions, I could be having PMS.

Wait a minute… I quickly counted some days on my calendar. I was a week late for… that. I'm never late. Ever.

I laid back down on my bed. Morning sickness, cravings, emotions running rampant, late… thing… Holy #&*%!

I jolted out of bed and ran out of the house, calling "I just need some alone time, be back soon!" As soon as I cleared the door, I whipped out my wings. I flew to the nearest Wal-Mart, and landed behind t in the empty loading area.

I folded in my wings and walked around to the front. It wasn't that busy for a Wal-Mart. I guess everybody was working or something. I walked right to the aisle to get a pregnancy test.

I mean… I couldn't be… pregnant… right? I jogged to the checkout aisle and gave the girl ten dollars. She looked about 18, with blonde dreadlocks and multiple piercings.

"Your change is 2.67. Have a nice day. And… good luck." she said, smacking her gum.

I nodded absently and went straight home.

****

I paced in the bathroom. I had come in through the window in my room so I wouldn't have to walk by anyone… like Fang.

I checked my watch for the hundredth time. This had to be the longest three minutes of my life!

Oh God… Fang… if I was… you know… what would I tell him? I shuddered, thinking about if he would leave me. He wouldn't… right? Maybe I wouldn't tell him. Or, maybe I could just not be pregnant and-

_Beep_. The test's little timer went off. I picked it up, then put it down. I picked it up, and put it down again. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

I took a deep breath. Then another. Then I flipped the test over. _A red plus sign_.

Oh boy. Embarrassingly, I fainted.

****

"Max? Max! Ma-ax! MAX!" I woke up to Fang shaking me and calling my name. I was still in the bathroom. Luckily, the test was underneath where I had fallen.

I looked up at him, and bit back tears. He was so concerned for me, he said he loved me so much… but how would he react to this? I didn't want to tell him.

I guess he saw the misery in my eyes, because he gathered me up into his arms.

"What's wrong?" he mumbled, stroking my hair. That did it- I burst into tears.

He pulled back, startled. I didn't cry often, and he knows that when I do, it's bad.

"Max. What's. Wrong." he said sternly. I looked at him, sniffling. I couldn't lie to him. I just couldn't.

"I-I-I'm… pr-pre-p-pregnant!" I hiccupped.

His mask disappeared to reveal true shock. I wailed inwardly at this, because he probably didn't want a baby and was going to leave.

I started sobbing again. "I know you probably don't want a baby. I'm not ready for one. So if you're gonna leave me, just do it."

"Max."

"I can get Mom to take care of it, or Nudge and Ella would help. You don't have to hang around here."

"Max!"

"I'll miss you. I understand. Just go, okay? Go! I don't want a baby either!" I was hysterical at this point.

"Maximum!" That stopped me. I don't think he's ever called me by my full name. _Ever_.

"What?" I said, barely able to breath through my sobs and wrenched breathing.

He hugged me close. "I can't wait to hold our baby in my arms. I would never leave you. Ever. So stop it. I love you, and I'll be there right with you. The whole way." he said into my shoulder.

When I pulled back, he was beaming the biggest I had ever seen. And his eyes looked suspiciously misty.

My happy mood abruptly vanished. "You're telling Mom."

His smile vanished faster than mine.

**A/N: Me: Yay! Baby!**

**Fang: You always make me look stupid in your stories!**

**MooMoo: Really?**

**Rawr: What would have said?**

**Fang: …*mumble mumble*….**

**Me: Can't hear you!**

**Fang: Alright! The same thing! I would've said the same thing!**

**Me: Hmph. Fact: I have a farmer's tan. Like, legit. Shorts, socks, and a tank top. I **_**hate **_**it. Stupid track. Stay tuned for the next chapter of 'The Beautiful Life'!**

**Fang: What's that?**

**Me: *headdesk* This story. The title is 'The Beautiful Life' in french! **

**Fang: Oh. Uh… *trying not to look stupid…er* review!**


	3. 2 Months

**A/N: Hey hey hey! What's crackin' y'all?**

**Fang: *headdesk***

**Me: Whatever Fang. Just go cry in your emo corner. *points in random direction***

**Fang: Ok. *starts cutting with banana* **

**Fang: B! What are you typing? *reads* Hey! I did not do that!**

**Me: *cackle manically* *cough* Anyway… Fact: I love summer. No homework, no school, pool's open, tanning, sleeping in, staying up late, warm, carnivals, beaches, etc.**

February 16, 2011

Max POV

It's been two months since… you know. I'm two months pregnant. Jeez, that will never get less weird to think.

But… I'm already _showing_. Like, wasn't that not supposed to happen until like… 4 months? I looked like I was 4 months along, but… I _wasn't_.

I sat on my bed, absent mindedly rubbing my growing stomach. If I kept baggy sweatshirts on, nobody noticed. Fang and I tried really hard to keep it a secret from Angel, because once she knew, Nudge would know. And then, _everyone_ would know.

"Ugh, I'm already fat, Fang!" I complained. He was folding some laundry that had finally gotten washed. He stifled a sigh, and turned to me with a look of patience on his face.

"No, you're not. You have a person inside of you. That's not fat."

"Oh, but it's making me fat, right? I knew you thought I was fat! You're such a jerk!" I yelled. He just ignored me and turned back around.

That made me really upset for some reason. "No, Fang! Talk to me! Please! I'm sorry!" I cried, holding back tears. He looked at me, smirked as if to say "When have I ever talked?" and finished up the laundry. I was abruptly angry again.

"Ugh! I hate you!" I said, stomping over to my room. I plopped on the bed. Geez, I really need to get these hormones under control.

Fang POV

Max is two months along. Soon, I'm gonna be a dad. It's so cool! Sure, I'm scared to death, but I'm also incredibly excited for it.

I'm also… not really _worried_, per say… but concerned about the fact of how fast Max is growing. She looks like she's 4 months pregnant instead of two. I hope our weird DNA isn't messing anything up.

She borrowed a lot of my sweatshirts, though, to hide her stomach. And I tried really hard not to think about it around Angel, 'cause she would tell Nudge, and Nudge would tell _everybody_.

"Ugh, I'm already fat, Fang!" she complained. I was folding our laundry, so I tried to quiet a sigh and turned to face my girlfriend.

"No, you're not. You have a person inside of you. That's not fat."

"Oh, but it's making me fat, right? I knew you thought I was fat! You're such a jerk!" she yelled back. I just ignored me and turned back around. Hormones.

She turned to being really upset again. "No, Fang! Talk to me! Please! I'm sorry!" she cried, fighting tears. I looked at her, smirked as if to say "When have I ever talked?" and finished up the laundry. She was abruptly angry again.

"Ugh! I hate you!" she said, stomping out of my room. Geez, she really needs to get these hormones under control.

Max POV

After Fang and I… made up, to be polite… we went downstairs to hang with the flock. I was scared to death- Fang had, somehow, convinced me to tell the flock.

They were all in the living room watching TV. I swear they were addicted to that thing! You would think they had never watched one before. Oh, wait….

"Oh, they're busy, let's go!" I said, turning around and trying to go back upstairs. Fang grabbed me by the arms, gave me a stern look, and steered me into the room.

He clicked off the TV with the remote. We stood facing the flock on the couch, who were all staring, in some cases glaring, at us.

"Guys, Max and I have something to tell you." He gave me a look, to say "You do it."

I gulped ad looked at the flock. Iggy, the pervert he was, probably was thinking about beach bunnies, and was grinning. Gazzy was looking at us with genuine interest. Nudge looked like she was ticked off at me for interrupting her Next Top Model show. Angel was grinning and giggling- she probably already knew.

In response, she winked at me. Great. Her grin got wider.

"I'm pregnant!" I said in a rush. Iggy grinned wider and reached up for a bro-fist from Fang.

"Dude, nice way to t-" He was, sadly, interrupted by a certain someone's flying hand upside his head. He shut up, but was still smiling ear to ear.

Gazzy just looked… grossed out. Good- he probably still thinks girls have cooties. Although, from his and Iggy's discussion last month….

Nudge looked like she was going to explode. "ZOMG we soooo need to go baby shopping! Is it a boy or a girl? Do you know? You probably don't. We still need to get the basics, though- diapers, milk, blankets, clothes, oh I need clothes! We should go to American Eagle and Aeropastle and…."

I tuned her out to look at Angel. She Got up and hugged me, laying her head on my stomach. "I wonder if I can hear its thoughts!" She concentrated, then sighed. "Nope."

I hugged her and started listening to Nudge again. "How do they make Campbell's soup anyway?" she finished. I stared, wondering how she even got on that topic, then shrugged one shoulder.

"OK guys. Now, while we're gone… and if we don't come back… Iggy's in charge." I ordered, walking to the door.

"If you come back? Where are you going?" Iggy asked, standing up.

"To tell her mom." Fang deadpanned. Iggy shook his head, and said "Good luck."

**A/N: Me: Yay! I'm done!**

**Fang: Do I get beat up when we tell Mrs. Martinez?**

**Me: … Yes.**

**Fang: Poop.**

**Me: Teehee! Fact: I'm going to driver's ed this summer getting my permit January 2012, and getting my license October 2012. I'll be a driving sophomore! :D Review! I'm going swimming! Bye!**


	4. Surprise!

**A/N: Me: Hi everyone! Sorry it's been a few days. Life has just been kinda busy.**

**Fang: And on Wednesday, when FF wouldn't upload the last chapter. You almost punched a hole through your computer.**

**Me: …That too. Anyhoo (LOL a rhyme!) I realized these chapters aren't very… deep. Like… they're kinda short and… rush-y. So I'm gonna slow down and type more in each chapter (my fingers already hurt LOL).**

**Fang: You still need to type up your French project, too.**

**Me: **_**Zut! J'ai oublié complétement! Je ne veux le pas faire!**_

**MooMoo: Fact- when she's upset, she starts speaking in French.**

**Rawr: Even though she's only in French 3.**

**Me: **_**Quoi? J'ai pensé que vous avez été mes amis! Tais-tôi! **_

**Fang: Come on. Get on with the darn story!**

April 18, 2011 (LOL my birthday!)

Max POV

I groaned as I got up to go pee… which I did like every five minutes. Being pregnant isn't all it's cracked up to be, you know. People are always like "Pregnant women have this glow about them!" Well, they're bleeping idiots. The only glow I see around here are lamps.

I hobbled to the bathroom. At least my morning sickness was gone. After I finished my business, I waddled down the hall to see Fang.

His door was slightly ajar, and I could see him lounging on his bed. I knocked lightly and pushed the door open. He looked up from his laptop and smiled, and my heart skipped a beat. His smiles should be illegal. They always get to me.

"Hey beautiful." I shivered slightly. I loved that- he didn't call me 'babe' or 'hot', just 'beautiful'. It was more meaningful.

He rubbed my three-months-but-looking-closer-to-five-months stomach as I leaned into his shoulder. "What are we gonna name him?" he asked softly.

I raised an eyebrow. "Him? I think it's a girl. And _she _will be named Lizzy."

Now he raised an eyebrow. "I like it. But… you need a boy name. For him."

I playfully punched him. "I guess. How about… John?" He crinkled his nose.

"Nah. It sounds too formal. How about… Tyler?"

I grinned. "Perfect."

****

I sat down at the table, mouth watering. I could already smell the stuffed shells, garlic bread, and salad that Iggy had made. I was craving Italian this week.

"Dinner is served!" he yelled, coming through the door with two big trays of pasta. While avoiding Total and Akila running under the table. And dodging chair and table legs. **(A/N: Me: LOL the first time I typed that sentence I typed 'table elfs'. Awesome.)** How does he do it?

He brought out the bread and salad. By that time everyone was sitting at the table. It was a rectangle, with Fang at one end and Iggy at the other. Gazzy was to Iggy's left, and Angel was to his right. Nudge was on Fang's left, sitting next to Angel. I was sitting on Fang's right, next to Gazzy. Like this: I

A G

N M

F

We dug in right away. For a few minutes, all you could hear were, disgusting, chewing noises. When Fang and I got up for thirds, Angel cried "ERASERS!"

Fang, Iggy, and I bolted out the door, with Nudge, Angel and Gazzy following close behind. We shot up into the sky as soon as we on the grass.

We hovered about 1,000 feet above our house, looking around. 'Whew,' I thought to myself, 'flying is a tad harder with a baby on board!' Weird, though- still no signs of Erasers.

Iggy cocked an ear. "They're coming from the south." We turned to face south, and sure enough, a dark cloud was on the horizon.

Once they got closer, I saw that there were a lot- probably about 100. We could probably take them- I think.

Adrenaline flowed through my system and my vision got all battle weird- blurry with motion, but also super sharp. The first wave hit us. Immediately, Gazzy and Iggy threw bombs. I think I saw them take them out of their underwear. 'Later, Max. Later.'

Nudge and Angel were a team, back to back. Nudge was rubbing her temples, fierce concentration on her face, an the Erasers around her were freaking out. She was probably making them see giant, flying… 'certain human parts'. Angel was also playing mind games- her Erasers were doing somersaults in the air, and being non-too-good flyers, falling to their deaths.

Fang and I each were surrounded by Erasers. He was taking water vapor from the air and freezing parts of the Erasers. Then, he would turn around and scorch them from his other hand. He looked really determined, and he also shot out some jabs and kicks that would definitely leave a mark.

I whirled in a circle, bobbing up and down. I used my telekinesis to my advantage- I could jerk their heads around and give them whiplash and concussions. I also was dealing out some old fashioned roundhouse and drop kicks, as well as flailing my fists around. But in a good way.

Everything was going fine. Gazzy was finishing off his and Iggy's batch of Erasers with his super strength. The last of Angel's and Nudge's Erasers were falling to the ground holding their heads. Fang was freezing and punching his last five Erasers (it was actually quite gross- he would freeze a limb solid, then punch it and it would _break off_).

I was dealing with my last few Eraser when it happened. I was pretty tired- almost exhausted. 'Being pregnant takes a lot out of ya!' I thought.

_Maximum! Focus!_

I dropped a few feet in shock. The Voice was back! I thought it had left! I was about to think a sarcastic hello when an Eraser, sensing my distraction, kicked me. _Right in the stomach._

My mouth formed an 'o' of surprise as I dropped out of the sky. I wasn't unconscious- I was just shocked to death. I vaguely saw Fang kick the last Eraser, the one that had kicked me, in the head. He looked around, saw me plummeting, and shot towards me. He flew up underneath me and caught me. He floated to the ground, and gently lay me down. The rest of the flock landed and ran over to us.

"Max! What happened? What's wrong?" Fang asked urgently. I could see it in his eyes- he was very scared.

I struggled to find my voice. "Kicked me in my stomach. The baby!" Fang's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, and real fear- worse than a second ago- flashed in them. "Get me to mom's." I rasped.

He nodded, tapped Iggy's hand twice, and carried me to my mom's house. Surprisingly, I was also worried about one other thing. Now we had to tell her. Oh, god.

**A/N: Me: Sorry for the cliffie, but I gotta keep you guys reading! Tune in next time to see what happens to Max's baby!**

**Fang: This isn't a soap opera, B.**

**Me: It could be. You never know.**

**MooMoo: Yea, you're always in the closet.**

**Rawr: Teehee! In the closet!**

**Fang: Grrrrr!**

**Me: Haha Fangy's all mad now! *whisper* I bet Edward Cullen's in there too!**

**Fang: Shut up! I hate all of you!**

**Me: Aw, **_**tu sais tu m'aime! **_**Fact: I didn't have to go to school today (Friday) 'cause of graduation. Booyah!**_** Reviewez, s'il vous plâit!**_


	5. 4 months

**A/N: Me: No! Give it back, Fang!**

**Fang: Never!**

**Me: Fang! I'm warning you! **_**Give me back my iPod!**_

**Fang: Um… no. Let **_**me **_**go.**

**Me: NEVER! *throws weasel***

**Fang: You can't reach me from over th- *thump***

**Me: Hmph. That'll teach him. *takes back iPod* *kicks Fang* Stupid bird boy. He took my iPod. Grrrr. Anyway… fact: I love yard saleing. Like… every weekend in summer I get up at 8 and drive around town looking for them.**

**MooMoo: She got a new bike today!**

**Rawr: And a board game! Let's go play, MooMoo! *run off***

April 18, 2011 (still)

Fang POV

I was just taking care of the last Eraser when I saw Max fall. I started rocketing down to get her even before I was sure that Eraser was dead. I caught her with 75 feet to spare. I floated down to the ground to see what had happened. The rest of the flock landed and ran over to us.

"Max! What happened? What's wrong?" I asked. I was really worried- why had she just fallen out of the sky like that? She wasn't even unconscious.

"Kicked me in my stomach. The baby!" I felt my eyes widen, and suddenly I was more than worried- I was terrified. "Get me to mom's." she rasped.

I nodded, tapped Iggy's hand twice with a shaking hand, and picked her up bridal style. I started flying to Mrs. Martinez's house as fast as I could. 'Please Max, just please be okay.' I thought to myself. 'I won't even care if it's a girl, just be okay.' **(A/N: Me: Psh. Males.) **

****

Max POV

We came into sight of my mom's house. Fang hit the ground running, literally, and shouldered open the door. Too late, I wondered what we would do if she wasn't home. Go to a hospital? I shuddered at the thought.

"It's ok, Max. It'll be fine." Nudge said, seeing me shake. She and Angel stroked my hair, and Gazzy held my hand. They were so sweet.

"MRS. MARTINEZ!" Fang bellowed. "IT'S US, THE FLOCK. MAX NEEDS YOUR HELP!" He set me down on the living room couch, and waited for a few seconds.

Sure enough, I heard pounding foot steps- two sets. What day was it? Shouldn't Ella be in school?

Mom and Ella hurdled into the room, and came immediately to my side. "What happened?" she demanded, getting to business. She looked at Fang. He stared, and visibly paled. Ha. Now _he_ has to tell her.

Fang POV

Holy ****. Oh my ****ing God. Why me? Why me? There's no ****ing way I'm telling Max's mom that she's ****ing pregnant! She'll ****ing kick my ***! ****, she'll ****ing kill me!

Max POV

Seeing as Fang looked like a deer in headlights, Iggy sensed the tension and did what Iggy does best.

"Fang and Max did the dirty. She now has a bun in the oven. Said bun was just kicked, so please check it out?"

Make things worse.

Ella gasped and then squealed, jumping up and down. Nudge joined in the squealing, and they hugged each other chanting "We're gonna be au-unts, we're gonna be au-unts!"

My mom's eyes bugged out, she started shaking, and her face turned red. Her hands clenched into fists, and she started hyperventilating.

"Mom!" I pleaded. "Can the lecture wait? I want to make sure she's okay."

"Or he."

"Fang, shut up."

My mom took a deep breath. "Okay. I'll drive you and… Iggy to my office. We have an ultrasound that probably works on humans too."

"Okay," I said, "but why not Fang?" It was his baby, too.

"Because I might kill him before I check on the baby." she said through clenched teeth.

"Oh."

****

I was laying down on the table, my shirt pulled up to reveal my bulging stomach. My mom rubbed some goo (that was freezing! I mean, seriously, the baby probably though we moved to Antarctica!) on my stomach.

She started moving a little hand held machine over my stomach, and a blurry black and white picture showed up on the screen. I saw two big blobs, and a smaller blob. "I don't see anything."

"Me neither." Iggy cracked.

My mom pointed to the two big blobs on either side of the screen. "It looks like those are air sacs. I can't get a full view into the womb because of them, but it looks like your baby," she pointed to the smaller blob in the middle, "will be fine." she said, beaming.

I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding. Iggy patted my arm and helped me sit up.

As Mom handed me a towel to wipe the crap off my stomach, she started interrogating me. "So… it looks like you're about six months pregnant. When did you… you know…." she trailed off.

I frowned as I thought. "Well… the first time was…." I finished quickly because my mom turned red when I said 'first', "New Years Day."

She shook her head. "That's impossible. It would have to be at least… October."

"No." I argued. "I'm sure that was when it happened."

_Your mixed DNA is affecting it. So you are due in June._

I relayed the Voice's info to my mom. _'We are gonna have a talk later, Jeb.'_

Crap. I don't even get a normal amount of time to prepare myself for this!

****

May 5, 2011

Max POV

Fang and I were now living at my mom's full time. She wanted us there so in case anything happened, she would be right there.

I found out that Ella was now homeschooled, so that's why she was home. She thanked me, profusely, for interrupting her biology lesson.

But, let's just say the first two weeks here were… interesting. Fang was bedridden for two whole weeks. It all started when we got back to Mom's house.

_Flashback_

_We walked through the door, and Fang got up to hug me. "Angel told me everything was fine. I'm so glad."_

_We sat like that for, oh, thirty seconds. "Fang? Can I see you in the kitchen, please?" my mom asked sweetly. I squeezed his hand and gave him a little push. Giving me a desperate look, he followed my mom into the kitchen._

_We didn't hear anything for a minute, then we heard a crash. Then another. Then a huge crack. We heard Fang yell, then silence again. _

_We ran in, and my mom was holding Fang six inches off the ground in a chokehold. He had two black eyes, it looked like one of his legs and one of his arms was broken, and his chest looked funny- I bet he had ribs broken. He was also bleeding from a cut in his head._

"_Mom! What the heck did you do? Oh gosh, put him down please!" I shouted when he started turning blue._

_My mom let him drop to the ground, where he sat wheezing. She bent down, and squeezed that one nerve in your shoulder. He passed out instantly._

_Iggy got a camera from, seemingly, nowhere, and flashed a picture. I glared at him before turning to my mom. "What did you do?" I asked slowly._

"_Let's see… we came in here, I stared at him for a while, he started to talk, and then," she shrugged, "I chopped him the ribs, I punched him in the face, karate kicked him and broke his arm and leg, and rammed his head into the counter. I was just strangling him when you came in. Then I made him pass out for… oh… three days?"_

_I shook my head, dumbfounded. "Iggy please take care of Fang- put him in the guest room."_

"_Yes sir!" I punched his arm as he walked by._

So… my mom is a ninja. Who'd thought it? But my baby was due in a month and a half, which I was really looking forward to. I mean… how much weight can a seven pound baby make me gain?

**A/N: Me: LOL ninja Dr. M and Fang hurt.**

**Fang: *groan***

**Me: Speaking of Fang hurt… I don't think he's waking up today.**

**MooMoo: Stop heating! I got that right, and you know it!**

**Rawr: I did not cheat! Hey! That's my piece! *punch***

**MooMoo: *bite***

**Me: *sigh* I gotta go break this up. Before I go- Fact: My favorite 'board' game to play ever is The Game of Things. I also like Life and Apples to Apples.**

**Thanks for reading! Please review- (constructive) criticism welcome! **


	6. Baby ies?

**A/N: Me: It seems as though some of you are kind of confused. Fang and Max did indeed 'make cookies', 'put the salami in the fridge', 'do the dirty', whatever you want to call it.**

**MooMoo: We just didn't want to be too gross about it.**

**Rawr: They did it in the end of the very first chapter, jsyk.**

**Fang: *groan* Where am I?**

**Me: *shifty eyes* Uh… on the floor.**

**Fang: Why?**

**Me: You… uh… fell. Yea- that's it. You fell. *cough cough* Moving on! Fact: My family is starting a garden! We are planting/ have planted: watermelons, cantaloupe, peas, cucumbers, pumpkins (five kinds- regular, 'cheese', 'brain', 'mushroom', and giant), corn, carrots, onions, potatoes, anise, rosemary, parsley, basil, oregano, strawberries, tomatoes, lima beans, and lettuce.**

June 15, 2011 (Eeek my last day of school :D)

Max POV

Ugh I was huge! I mean, Fang couldn't even hug me because my stupid stomach was so fricking big! This dumb baby. I swear… when it gets out of there… I'll teach it a lesson it'll never forget.

"Max? You're scowling and muttering to yourself… again." Gazzy said with a worried expression on his face.

I smoothed out my face. "Sorry, Gaz. I'll try to keep the insanity to a minimum." My joke worked, and he giggled and returned to his… 'toy'. AKA probable bomb.

I clicked on the TV just for something to do. Someone, probably Angel, had left it on Cartoon Network. There was a show on called Chowder. I have to say- it was pretty creepy. The main character was a rabbit… bear… boy… thing. Everyone was named after food. No one looked like a real human. It was _very_ creepy. But funny.

Fang came inside from his morning flight and plopped down on the couch next to me. He laid his hand on my huge belly and leaned his head on mine. I snuggled into his shoulder and smiled to myself. I really love him.

We had finished the episode of chowder, and now Tom and Jerry was on. I love this show! It's a classic, it's cute, and it's funny.

I had a sudden cramp in my lower stomach, but ignored it. It happened all the time. One of the many joys of being hugely pregnant. **(A/N: Me: Um… I've never been pregnant before, so I might get parts of this labor stuff wrong. Sorry :P)**

A few minutes later, I had another cramp, a little more painful. I frowned and shifted my position, and it went away. I inwardly shrugged.

The next time a cramp came, it was even worse. I hissed in a tiny breath. Fang looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. "It's nothing." I assured him. He looked dubious, but went back to the TV.

I felt liquid trickle down my legs into my slippers. I bent down to see what the blank was going on, when another cramp hit me, this time so painful I couldn't hold back a small cry.

Fang immediately helped me sit up. "What's wrong?" he insisted, knowing there was something.

I swallowed. "I think the baby's coming."

He just sat there for a few seconds, looking like he had accidentally frozen himself. Then, suddenly, he leaped up. "OH MY GOD THE BABY'S COMING!" he ran in a circle around the perimeter of the room, not seeming to know what he needed to do.

"Car keys?" I suggested. Mrs. Martinez was at work and he was the best driver out of all of us, and I could not fly like this.

He nodded feverently before dashing out of the room into the hallway. He came running back, jangling keys, and supported me while I walked to the door. Another cramp… or should I say contraction… hit me right at the door. I groaned softly and leaned against it.

"Shoes! We need shoes!" Fang shouted before running to the back door to get us shoes. I giggled at his impression of a chicken without it's head.

He came dashing back to me, slipped the shoes on my feet, smashed his feet into his shoes, and opened the door. I leaned against him as we walked to the red Suburban.

The rest of the flock, and Ella, appeared from every corner of the house and piled into the back of the car, me in shotgun.

I'm pretty sure Fang was doing 90 mph the _entire_ way to the hospital, screeching to a halt out front. As he pulled me out of the front, he yelled "Park it, Nudge!"

We raced (well, as fast as I could go) to the door. "MY WIFE IS HAVING A BABY!" he screamed as soon as we were in the lobby. All the doctors turned to him, stared, and, like, 3 nurses came running to put me in a wheel chair.

As I was being wheeled to a room, Fang running behind me, I had a moment of panic. What if they were white coats? If they weren't, what would they do about the wings? The baby had come about two weeks early, which in regular time would be a month and a half early, so we hadn't had time to prepare the hospital.

They picked me up and put me on the bed, while changing me into one of those stupid paper robes. _Like the school._

That sudden thought hit me, and I panicked even more. I struggled against the nurses, tying to get away from the smell and whiteness and the doctors. Fang saw my pupils dilate, my nostrils flare, my back arch, and took over. He held down both my arms and put his face very close to mine.

"They're going to help. Think of our baby. They're good people." he stared straight into my eyes, and kissed me softly.

I clamed down after that, and noticed the rest of the flock, as well as my mom, crowded into the room. A lowly orderly came to tell them that they weren't allowed in here, only next of kin, blah blah blah. Iggy just punched him straight in the face.

"Almost 10 cm!" a nurse called out. I screamed as more contractions came. I was squeezing Fang's hand so hard I think I heard a couple bones snap. He grimaced, but didn't say anything.

"Alright, we're ready. Push!" a second nurse told me. I did, and it hurt like you would not believe. I screamed out probably more cuss words than a sailor, and I saw Mom cover Gazzy's ears. Angel was already corrupted just form reading my filthy mind.

I kept pushing, and screaming, and cussing, for probably another half hour. I'm pretty sure that at one point I told Fang I hated him for doing this to me. Another time I cussed out God for making humans go through this. And I think, but I'm not sure, I even cussed out the baby for being like this.

I finally heard a crying baby, and I collapsed. panting into the bed. I looked and there it was- a bloody, mushed up, crying, ugly little thing. "Uh… can you put it back? I don't think it's done yet." I half-joked.

"It's a boy!" the doctor pronounced. Tyler. Fang hugged me (smiling a bit too big for my liking), cut the cord, and handed off the baby to the wet nurse. Apparently while I had been screaming my lungs out, my mom had informed them of the wings. They stared at the downy things on it's back.

I was about to ask Fang to get me some food, when another contraction hit me, and I shouted "HEY! WHY DOES IT STILL HURT?" Well… let's just say it was a bit more… colorful than that.

"There's another head! It's twins!" The doctor informed me. I groaned/yelled loud enough I'm sure the whole hospital heard me.

It only took twenty minutes this time, but it hurt just as much. This time, I told Fang to kill me. I also cussed out Jeb- just for the heck of it.

When it came out, it looked just as grody as the first. "A girl!" the doctor yelled. Lizzy! I smiled big then. Fang cut that cord too, and both babies were cleaned off and given to me.

I have to admit, they looked a lot better once they were cleaned off and not crying.

My eyes were misty with tears as I looked at Fang, and his were suspiciously dewy too.

I studied the little buggers that made the last six months completely not fun. Tyler had light brown hair (my hair), and his wings were mine, too- brown with white streaks. Lizzy looked like Fang- black hair and completely black wings. For a moment, they yawned, and they both opened their eyes at the same time. Lizzy had my eyes- dark brown, while Tyler had Fangs- deep black. So they each got traits from both of us.

We passed Lizzy and Tyler around. Everyone admired their fuzzy wings and full heads of hair. I sighed a sigh of relief one they were both back in my arms. I fell asleep before even saying good night to anyone, holding my babies safely in my arms.

**A/N: Me: AWWWWWW! Babies are so cute!**

**MooMoo: Until they poop.**

**Rawr: Or start talking.**

**Me: This is true.**

**Fang: Why is there a weasel next to me? B… you didn't….**

**Me: Hehe… Fact: I have been playing the old game Dream Life. You know- it's a separate machine you plug into your TV and you play as another person. It's pretty fun. I have to run… away… now. Bye!**


	7. The Joy of Parenthood

**A/N: Me: …I'm out of creative greetings. Hi.**

**Fang: Do you have writer's block?**

**Me: NO! I'm just… tired :P School is slowly killing me from the inside out.**

**MooMoo: Only five more days!**

**Rawr: Then you can write about us all day!**

**Me: Yup! *sigh* Summer….**

**Fang: I don't like summer- too hot.**

**Me: Just because you are emo and wear all black doesn't mean summer isn't fun. Fact: Sandy Cove- 2008. Sunday to Sunday camp. By Tuesday night, 60% of camp (counselors and kids) are in the infirmary with stomach pain. Including me. I'm sick the whole week. I go home, and find out we all had **_**ecoli**_**. As in, deadly food poisoning? I still have nightmares of midnight pukings. You try sleeping while three people, plus the person in the bunk above you and above right of you are puking all around you into the floor! Now I can't stand the sight/smell/sound of puking. At all. This is the first reason I hate sleep away camps.**

August 3, 2011

Max POV

"WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!" I groaned. I had just started falling back asleep after the last outburst from the twins. I hit Fang on the chest. "Your turn."

He moaned into his pillow and sat up, rubbing his puffy eyes. He glared at me before slouching out of the room.

Thirty seconds later, I heard him coo "It's okay, Lizzy. It's okay. Shh. You're alright." She quieted down almost instantly. I sighed. She was such a daddy's little girl. He could always calm her down, even when no one else could. Even me.

Another forty-five seconds later, he staggered back in and slumped on the bed. I wrapped my arms around his waist. "You're such a good daddy!"

He looked at me and smirked. "Yup. Lizzy does like me… better." I giggled and smacked his shoulder.

"Shut up! But Tyler is a momma's boy. _He_ likes _me_ better." I giggled again. He gave me a lopsided grin before kissing my forehead.

"Alright, smarty pants. Go to sleep." he said. I sleepily nodded and snuggled into his chest.

I just dozed into half-consciousness when two wails split the silence.

I groaned even louder. "DEAR GOD WILL YOU SHUT THOSE THINGS UP?" Iggy yelled.

"UGH how could something be so cute and so annoying at the same time? I mean, I love Lizzy and Tyler, but sometimes I feel like-"

"NUDGE SHUT UP! AND MAX OR FANG PLEASE MAKE THE BABIES SHUT UP!" Gazzy yelled further down the hall.

"WILL EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP AND GO BACK TO SLEEP? IT'S BAD ENOUGH WITH YOUR THOUGHTS!"

"OMG SERIOUSLY? CAN WE JUST GO BACK TO SLEEP NOW?" Ella yelled from the next floor up.

"EVERYONE BE QUIET OR I WILL PERSONALLY KICK YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE!"

At my mom's shout we all stopped yelling, and both Fang and I walked to the twin's room across the hall. I picked up Tyler and Fang picked up Lizzy. I rocked him in my arms and stroked his head. He finally settled down, and I kissed his head. Next to me, Fang was putting Lizzy back in the crib. I did the same with Tyler.

We walked back hand in hand to our room and laid down in the bed together. I whispered, "You know- this is pretty tough. But, all in all, it'll be worth it."

He smiled and pecked my cheek. "I know. But for now, we should try and get all the sleep we can."

I tried to go to sleep for the third or fourth time that night. I think I was actually entering actual sleep until… "WAAAAAAHHHHHH!"

****

I stumbled down the stairs the next morning- or, technically, later the same morning- half blind. I rubbed my eyes and leaned against the wall in the kitchen, smelling Iggy's delicious cooking. Eggs, bacon (jyiuhvoonoioiin :D), sausage, toast, hash browns, pancakes, waffles, fruit, and OJ. Oh yea. It takes a lot to feed us.

Slowly, everyone trickled down into the kitchen from upstairs. Of course, everyone had puffy eyes with bags under them. Also of course, they all gave me death glares. Even the freaking _dogs_.

I just ignored them and sat down to eat my delicious breakfast. Only after I ate the first few forkfuls (too late) did I realize Iggy might have done something to my food. I paused, my forkful of eggs halfway to my mouth.

"Iggy?"

"Yes Max?" he said innocently.

"Did you… do something? To my food?"

"Maybe, maybe not. Maybe I put some bomb chemicals in your orange juice and sausage. Maybe I didn't."

I threw down my fork and ran upstairs to the bathroom, where I threw up whatever chemicals Iggy put in my food.

I wiped my mouth with my hand, brushed my teeth, and calmly walked downstairs.

"Oh, Max? Yea… I actually _didn't_ put chemicals in your food. Problem?" **(A/N: Me: Tell me in a review if you know what that's from!)** Iggy said, grinning from ear to ear.

I shrieked so loud I heard two babies start wailing. I groaned and stomped back upstairs.

****

It was the middle of the afternoon, and I was wiped. This morning's 'fun' and last night's lack of sleep weren't helping. I smelled a disgusting smell, and smelled Lizzy. Nope- she was still clean. Thank God.

I sniffed Tyler. Whew! That's a doozy. I dumped Lizzy, softly of course, into Fang's lap and started up the stairs to the bathroom. This was literally the fifth time this _hour_ that I had to change a baby's diaper.

I set Tyler down on the changing tables, and grabbed my supplies: wipes, a new diaper, rubber gloves, and a toy. I gave him the toy and set to work.

I slowly peeled the old diaper off and threw it away. I reached over to get a wipe, and that is the _exact_ moment that Tyler decided to use the bathroom. _On my face. _Yelling in surprise, I put up both hands in order to shield the torrent of pee aiming for my face. It finally stopped- after a full 30 seconds. I slowly put my hands down and stared at my baby. He giggled and waved his feet around. It would've been cute… except for what he just did.

"You okay?" Fang called from outside the door.

"Fine. Here- take him. I'm taking a shower." I opened the door and thrusted Tyler at my husband. He raised an eyebrow at my appearance, but didn't say anything. I slammed the door and got into my shower. I'm pretty sure I stayed in there for almost an hour.

**A/N: Me: That would be so terrible. I could not handle it if someone peed on me.**

**Fang: What if you got stung by a jelly fish?**

**Me: I would deal with the sting. Fact: Johns Hopkins CTY- 2009. Three week camp. Skip forward to half way through the camp- a week and a half done. Over the period of 48 hours, over forty people became infected with swine flu. They close down the camp and evacuate everyone. Once I leave, I find out I got the swine flu too! The second reason I hate sleep away camps.**

**Fang: Dude, that sucks!**

**Me: I know, right? I think I'll stick to having a summer job, swimming in my pool, running track, and babysitting during the summer :P**

**MooMoo: Please review! Reviews= showing you care!**

**Rawr: Showing you care= MORE UPDATES! SO REVIEW- OR ELSE!**

**Fang: Was that necessary?**


	8. Wedding

**A/N: Me: **_**Bonjour, mon amis! Comment ça va? Pour moi- eh, comme ci comme ça. L'école est très enneyeux :P Je ne peut pas attendre l'été!**_

**Fang: **_**Je ne comprends pas. Que? Pourquoi que je parle français? Je ne sais pas le français!**_

**MooMoo: **_**Pourquoi pas? **_

**Rawr: **_**C'est la meilleure langue!**_

**Me: Fact: I'm going to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4 tomorrow night! :D I'm so excited! I love Johnny Depp! Also. I noticed that I never really told people's ages. So… I'll do that now.**

**Fang: Wait a minute… why were we speaking in French a second ago?**

**Me: That's for me to know… and you to not. And congrats to **Uzumaki D. Angel **for guessing that Iggy was "Troll Face" from memebase(dot)com. Check it out- you will crack up every time.**

October 21, 2011 (Max/Fang/Iggy- 17; Nudge/Ella/Ian- 14; Gazzy- 11; Angel- 9)

Max POV

I walked into the kitchen this morning for some food. I wanted to eat before the twins got up. That was my life now- centered around Tyler and Lizzy. It kind of sucked, to tell you the truth. But it was all worth it whenever I saw them, and tucked them in, and kissed their tiny heads.

I was startled to see everyone in the kitchen, including Mom and Ella. They were all in a circle- around Fang. He was facing me, and was shifting nervously from foot to foot with his hands behind his back. I instantly got nervous, too. Fang almost never shows emotion- especially nervous or scared.

"What's going on?" I asked warily. Fang cleared his throat.

"Max. We've been together since we were four years old. That's thirteen years. And for about seven of those years, I've been in love with you." He took a shaky breath. I had no idea where this was coming from, or where it was going. Everyone looked excited and happy and anxious, all at the same time. Except Fang. Now he looked like he was about to puke.

Cue another deep breath. "I was so happy when you decided to be my girlfriend. I was even happier, if that was possible, when we got to start a family together. But I realized we never did it right. And I want to make it right. I've already talked to your mom and Ella and the flock, and they all agree."

They all nodded excitedly. I was really confused now. I stared in puzzlement as Fang got down on one knee, and from around his back, pulled a small black box. Then I understood perfectly.

"Max Ride, will you marry me?" he said hesitantly, looking up at me. He had the faintest of blushes on his high cheekbones, and was breathing erratically.

I was so, incredibly, indescribably happy. This was so… amazing, that someone like me… like us… could have this kind of life. But, me being who I am, decided to play with him a little bit.

"Oh… I don't know. It all sounds… weird." An emotion flashed in his eyes- a mixture of disappointment, embarrassment, worry, and… hurt.

"Oh, you big knuckle head, of course I will!" I yelled, tearing up. I flung myself on to him, hugging him, happy tears streaming down my face.

I looked up to see Angel, Ella, Nudge, and even my mom squealing; Gazzy smiling joyfully; and Iggy grinning like the weirdo he is.

Fang squeezed me, and pulled back. He was wearing the gosh darnedest, biggest, brightest smile I had ever seen- bigger than when he heard I was pregnant. "I love you." he whispered. I kissed him to show that I had heard.

He opened the box, and I saw the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It was very simple- a black band, with a large sapphire in the middle. Looking closer, I saw that the words "You are my winged angel" were carved into the band. I kissed Fang harder, and et him out the ring on my finger. It fit perfectly.

"Hey, Fang?" Iggy called. "I'm taking you out for a bachelor's party! Yeeeeaaaahhhh!"

****

October 28, 2011

Max POV

It turns out, Fang had been planning this for a _whole week_, so the girls had time to plan 'the perfect wedding'. I had warned them against a big, poofy dress with lots of frills and laces. They just nodded and giggled. It went in one ear, out the other.

I have no idea what Fang and the boys did last night, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. But I'm pretty sure I heard 'strip' and 'club' in close proximity in one of their hushed conversations.

Iggy was Fang's best man, and Gazzy was the ring bearer. Angel was the flower girl, and Nudge was my maid of honor. Ella swore she didn't mind at all- she was my bridesmaid. Since there was no way in heck Jeb was gonna walk me down the aisle, my mom was going to do it. And, God help us all, Total was the priest. He had gotten an 'online certificate', and he begged to do it.

I heard the pre recorded song, the button pressed by Akila, start. My mom squeezed my hand and gently tugged me towards the door. Now I was getting nervous. I was sweating in my dress, and kept wiping my hands on it. My hair was so stiff with hairspray I could probably kill an Eraser with it. My shoes were so high I could barely walk in them, and my wings were smooshed in my dress- they refused to 'cut big ugly holes in my wedding dress'.

"Max. Come on." my mom whispered. I swallowed hard, tried to ignore the butterflies- no, angry helicopters- in my stomach, and walked through the 'doorway'- two trees.

I tried not to look around too much while I walked down the 'aisle', but it was hard not to. There were white roses and lilies, streamers, and balloons everywhere in the trees. I saw a bunch of logs on the ground as pews, and was shocked to see lots of people there. Brigid (haha take that, you pedophile!), John, and the whole Wendy K. crew was on one side. Jeb, Dr. HG, and Dylan (hahaHA) were on the other side, along with… Tess, Sam, and Lissa? (HAHAHAHAHA…*ahem*).

I saw Fang standing next to Iggy and Gazzy on Total's left, and Nudge (with Tyler) and Ella (with Lizzy) were on his right. Angel was walking in front of me, throwing white tulips on the ground. I slowly walked up to the group at the 'alter'- a stump.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to celebrate…." I tuned out Total. My mom, Ella, Nudge, and Angel all had the same dress on. It was much easier that way. It was an ivory color with a sequins spiral down the left side. The halter tops had rhinestones all over them, and they were fitted to the waist, then flowed outward.

Iggy, Gazzy, and Fang all had on basic black and white tuxedos (and Fang looked _hot_, let me tell you).

My dress was pure white. It was sleeveless, and also was fitted to the waist, where it flowed out (only slightly). There was a satin ribbon around my waist, and I was wearing a white veil. My dress had a three foot long train. It was simple, and I loved it.

"Fang, do you take Max to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

"I do."

"Max, do you take Fang to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

I looked into Fang's shining eyes, his smiling face, and I felt my nervousness slip away. "I do." I said, strong and clear.

"You may kiss the bride." Fang dipped me low, and kissed me sweetly. It was over too soon for my liking. I must have been pouting a little, because he chuckled and said "We still have our honeymoon."

****

The reception was great. It was held back at the flock's house. I danced with every one of the males (except Dr. HG… that would've been weird). Jeb and Dylan were very awkward. Dylan was downright crazy.

"So… you sure about this?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm still single."

"I'm married, you nimrod!"

"Psh. Him?"

"Fang? Yes!"

"Come on, Max. You know you want me."

He didn't get a chance to be more stupid, 'cause I punched him.

"I also have twins, idiot." The flare of panic, hurt, shock, and disappointment were deeply satisfying.

I didn't even try to make conversation with Jeb. It was more of a only-by-tradition-I-still-hate-you-don't-talk-to-me kind of dance. When I saw Fang with Brigid, then Lissa, my temper flared. It was only by sheer will power that I didn't leap across the room and strangle the b****es.

I was glad by the time I was back in Fang's arms. We danced a couple times, cut the cake, and boom! Wedding done.

We ran out the door to the yard, rice being thrown at us. It's a weird wedding tradition. Most of it missed, but some hit me and Fang directly. Probably from Iggy. Jerk.

We had already changed into normal, flight ready clothes, so we ran and took off.

We flew for a few hours, just holding hands. We finally landed in our honeymoon spot- the E house in Colorado. I was in for a wonderful weekend.

**A/N: Me: I'll just leave the honeymoon to your imaginations. You probably know what goes on ;).**

**Fang: Sickos.**

**Me: Ignore him.**

**MooMoo: Translation from earlier: Hello, my friends. How are you? For me- eh, so-so. School is very boring. I can't wait for summer.**

**Rawr: I don't understand. What? Why am I speaking French? I don't know French!**

**Me: Why not? It's the best language! Fact: I love the game Animal Crossing. GameCube and Wii. It' strangely addicting.**

**Fang: Why were we speaking French?**

**Me: BECAUSE I SAID SO! And you will be happy to know, readers, this story will now be 5….6? chapters long! Yay! REVEIW PLEASE!**


	9. Babysitting

**A/N: Me: Sorry sorry sorry sorry! I didn't update this weekend because I was at… AAU Junior Olympics!**

**Fang: I had the house to myself almost the whole weekend. It was nice.**

**MooMoo: We were there too!**

**Rawr: And B's dad.**

**Fang: Well I just ignored you two, and B's dad is easy to hide from. That crazy extra-toed cat though… that's another story completely.**

**Me: Anyway *glare* … the Pirates movie was awesome! Not as good as the original ones, but still pretty good. Fact: I have lots of gold, silver, bronze, and copper metals from both states and regionals (like two states together, etc) in the Junior Olympics. I have, like, at least 10 from each. None from nationals yet :/**

January 29, 2013 (Max/Fang/Iggy- 19; Nudge/Ella/Ian- 16; Gazzy- 13; Angel- 11; Tyler/Lizzy-1 1/2)

Fang POV

"Fang?" Just the sound of my wife's voice made me instantly wary.

"Yea?"

"Um… Ella and I are gonna go out tonight. Total, Akila, Angel, and Gazzy are sleeping over at my mom's. Nudge and Iggy are also going out. So you need to watch the twins." she explained.

"No."

"What?"

"I'll, like, blow up the house, lose the kids, I don't want to change diapers, it'll be a disaster!" I exclaimed.

Max arched an eyebrow at me. God her eyes are so beautiful. Like chocolate… mmmm…. I was jolted out of my hormonal thoughts as she coughed at me. "Sorry… what?"

She huffed. "I said- well, too bad for you because all the reservations are already made. And we're leaving in… 10 minutes."

I gaped at her while she walked out. Why that sneaky little… ah… I couldn't get mad at her.

**(A/N: Me: I noticed none of my line breaks were showing up. At all. So the stories are probably really confusing. I'll make sure they actually show up now.)**

I stared at the toddlers in front of me. They were throwing foam building blocks, giggling, flapping their little fluffy chicken wings, falling over, and generally being cute.

I smelled something… something… gross. I wrinkled my nose. I sniffed near Tyler- nope. Lizzy… phew! I picked her up, held her far away from my body, and walked to the bathroom. I set her on the changing table.

"Now… what do I do?" I muttered to myself. I shook my head, realizing how insane I was. Soon I'll be seeing talking T-rexs and platypuses **(A/N: Me: What?) **… or is it platypi? I have no idea.

I shrugged and started pulling down her diaper. I turned away and gagged at what was in there. You do not want to know.

I tried again, and this time I threw up a little in my mouth.

I thought for a second, then got an idea.

I came back in two minutes later wearing a haz-mat suit that used to be a Halloween costume and a gasmask. I had tongs, rubber gloves, and a bio-waste container. I was ready.

I slowly picked off the diaper with the forceps, holding it as if it was radioactive. Who knows… maybe it was. I dropped it carefully in the bin. I donned three pairs of rubber gloves and cleaned her off. I put on three new pairs of gloves and put a new diaper on her.

Whew! Done!

I had finally gotten the twins to finish their bottles of formula and baby mush after 45 minutes. 'Cause God knows I wasn't breast feeding them or anything.

I burped Tyler, then Lizzy. Thank God for the rag 'cause I'm pretty sure she puked on it a little. Lovely.

I herded them into the living room. They had learned to walk at a pretty early age- about 8 months. They went straight for the TV. I swear- they're addicted to that thing.

I walked over to them and turned it on. Dora was on. They clapped and giggled- I groaned.

I sat on the couch and I think I dozed off a little. I woke up to Tyler screaming and LIzzy laughing. I jolted upright, and rubbed my eyes. I looked around- nothing seemed wrong. Tyler and Lizzy were fine, the house had no holes, the TV was… wait… where was the TV? I looked around, puzzled. I heard the TV all of a sudden, and whipped around.

The TV was back! Tyler had stopped crying, and Lizzy looked… mischievous.

"What did you do?" I asked sternly. She gave me some babble. I shook my head and sat back down.

I was spacing out, looking at a plant outside, when Tyler started screaming again. I looked, and again, the TV wasn't there anymore. I furrowed my eyebrows and walked around the living room. Now… if I was a TV… where would I be?

Oh God- three hours and I'm already insane. There's still two hours before they go to bed!

The TV started again, and when I looked back, it was there! Okay… maybe I'm hallucinating. I pinched myself- nope. Still awake. I walked over to Lizzy. "What. Did. You. Do?" Please tell Daddy that he's not insane and there are no dinosaurs or platypi here either!

She giggled, pointed to the TV… and it vanished. I gasped and reached out. I could touch the TV- it was still there. Which means… she made it invisible! I stared at her. Well… she was pretty much like me… so she got a variation of my invisibility. I smiled- it was pretty cool.

Too bad she used it for evil instead of good. She made _everything _invisible- even important things- like the remote! And my laptop!

I slumped back on the couch, exhausted. Only half an hour left! Wonderful sleep….

Tyler ran up to me, _punched me in the face_, and ran away. What the F? I scowled and rubbed my cheek. That was gonna hurt in the morning.

He ran up to my other side, punched me on the other cheek, and ran away again. Where was this kid learning this stuff? Oh right… he and Lizzy watched Iggy and me have a fight one day. What? He cut up my favorite hoody to make a bomb shell.

Tyler appeared, out of freaking _nowhere_, and hit me. Where the sun don't shine. Okay= that's it. I got up to chase after him- maybe spank him a little. What I didn't expect was to not even be able to see him anywhere. I asked Lizzy, "You messing with me?" She smiled 'innocently'.

I felt some wind on my back, and whirled around. There… if I watched it closely enough… a little blur. With orange pants and red shirt… what the heck? Tyler?

He skidded to a halt in front of me. As soon as I blinked, he was on the other side of the room.

So he had super speed like Max. Except in running. This would make discipline hard.

"That's it. You're both going to bed." So Tyler started running around the room. On the walls. And Lizzy made herself invisible. Greeeaaat.

**A/N: Me: Yay! New powers! And don't worry- Fang is a good Dad. He just has no idea what he's doing.**

**Fang: Hey! I resent that!**

**MooMoo: Too bad. Cry me a river.**

**Rawr: Build a bridge. Get over it.**

**Fang: Your pets are mean!**

**Me: Oh well. *shrug* Fact: I got first in high jump and pole vault, and seventh in hurdles today at Junior Olympics states today! And I would like at least five reviews per chapter- so that means 45 after this chapter. We're at 39- only six more!**

**Fang: Pleas review so she'll stop complaining!**


	10. Flying

**A/N: Me: Hey! Long time, no… update… huh?**

**Fang: *facepalm***

**Me: Sorry- I had my last two days of school and Jr. Olympics states, so I haven't been able to update. But, now that it's summer (okdsaHKbfdsaopjgdsg;jdsgj :D)**

**I'll update at least one chapter every day. I think.**

**Fang: *head desk***

**Me: Fact: My family just got Netflix, so I (Fang has to too) am watching the entire Lost series. first episode to last, all summer. For free. Instantly on my Wii. That rhymes! Life is so awesome!**

**Fang: *head wall***

**MooMoo: That kills brain cells every time you hit your head.**

**Rawr: And you don't have many to spare, I hear.**

**Fang: *glare* I bet platypus and T-rex stew tastes good.**

**Both: o.O**

March 2, 2013

Max POV

Needless to say, Fang hasn't babysat in two months. This is how it went when I got home.

_Flashback_

_I walked into the house, chatting about the movie we just saw with Ella. I liked it, she didn't. She was just giving her opinion of the main actor's acting skills when I gasped. And cussed._

_There were holes worn into the carpet. The walls had holes and… footprints?... on them._ _The TV, couch, wall clock, the lamp, and many pairs of shoes were totally missing. I heard little children screaming and laughing and running around. _

_Where the bleep was Fang? Why wasn't he controlling this? The kids were two hours late for bed!_

_I looked around, and sure enough, I saw him. He was sitting in a corner, covering his ears, rocking back and forth, and muttering about 'platypi and baby T-rexes'._

_I walked up to him. "Fang, honey, what in the world happened?" I asked._

_He looked pitifully up at me. "Kids. Platypus. TV. Fast. T-rex. Disappear. Diapers. Chasing." he groaned, putting his head back in his hands._

_I shook my head- I would deal with him later. Right now, I needed to get the children in bed. "Lizzy! Tyler! Bed. NOW!" I heard them scurrying up the stairs and jumping into their beds._

_I turned back to Fang. "Why weren't you handling this?"_

_He stared at me. "Well excuse me if Lizzy has atomic smelling poop, Tyler can run as fast as you can fly, Lizzy can make things disappear, I couldn't catch Tyler, Lizzy kept making herself disappear so I couldn't find her, and I'm pretty sure I'm imagining a platypus and a baby T-rex following me! I'm going to bed!" he snapped before stomping up the stairs._

_I shook my head and walked, calmly, mind you- not like some other people around here, up the stairs._

_I entered the twins' room to tuck them in. "Why did you guys do that to Daddy?" I asked them as I tucked in Tyler. He shrugged. "'Cause it was fun-ny." I stared. _

"_When did you learn to talk?" I rasped._

_Now Lizzy shrugged. "Me dunno. Now I fink."_

_I stared some more. And more. Until I thought my eyes were gonna pop out. I swallowed hard. "Um… okay. Uh… night. Love you." I slowly back out, and collapsed on the ground. For some reason, this really bothered me. I sobbed a little._

_Fang heard me, I guess, and jogged over to me. "What's the matter?"_

_I took a deep breath. "They can talk. Like… all of a sudden, they know all these words. And they have these incredible powers. It's scary, Fang. We don't know what's gonna happen with our mutations!"_

"_Shh. It's gonna be okay. It's kind of cool, actually. All that's left is potty training and flying. Oh. wait. Dear god."_

_I couldn't help but giggle at his thoughts on potty training. He helped me up, and we went to bed._

Fang and I figured that since Tyler and Lizzy were almost two, we should teach them to fly. They were already running (in Tyler's case, as fast as I can fly), and talking, so they should be able to fly… sort of.

The whole flock followed us outside to watch. Except Iggy. Anyway.

"OK guys. First thing to flying: take off. Running take-offs are a lot easier, because you get more speed. But jumping take-offs are ok too, just a bit harder. We'll try running today." I instructed, They nodded quickly.

I gestured to Fang. "First, you run forward about 10 steps. You jump into the air, and push out your wings. Make sure you're high enough so that your wings don't hit the ground again. Then, use your instincts and just… fly." he said. Wow. I didn't even know his, probably, miniscule voice box could talk that much. Angel giggled.

I nodded my approval. I took off, followed by each flock member. Iggy, of course, tripped and fell. I wouldn't laugh, except he always brags about his take-offs. Tee hee.

Tyler and Lizzy watched in wonder as we gently landed. "Ok!" I said. "Your turn!"

With mixed results. Tyler's first try, he hopped like a bunny and didn't go anywhere. Lizzy's first try, she whacked her wings onto the ground.

Within the next few tries, they both got into the air. They flew for a couple minutes, looking exhilarated. It wasn't their first time flying, but it was their first time alone. I flew up next to them to try and coach them on landing.

"Ok. The easiest thing to do is to just slowly fly downwards. When you get close to the ground, stand up and aim your feet at the ground. As soon as your legs touch the ground, just run to keep the momentum from knocking you down." They nodded uncertainly.

I landed, the noob way I was teaching them, to demonstrate. I watched carefully as they both slooowwwlllyyy spiraled downwards. Lizzy landed first- she wasn't "running" fast enough, so she fell flat on her face. Tyler tripped over his own feet and landed on Lizzy.

Of course, that was the end of the lesson- as soon as they got hurt.

I sighed and carried a bawling Tyler, as Fang carried a screaming Lizzy, into the house. We patched up their knee scrapes, kissed them, and put them in their beds to nap.

We sunk into the couch. "It's gonna take a while." Fang said.

I nodded.

"It took us, like, a couple weeks."

"It's gonna be a long couple of weeks, then." I sighed.

Fang sighed too.

**A/N: Me: Yup. Just a short filler chapter. I'm sorry things are moving so slow. This is my longest story ever, and the beginning half is very slow, and the last half has everything else crammed into it. :P**

**Fang: Maybe your next one will be better. You know, the one where I get taken when-**

**Me: *whacks with weasel* NO SPOILERS! I am working on another long story, multiple actually, for the near future. **

**MooMoo: You actually have, like, 25 other stories to write.**

**Rawr: You know- that long list from Chemistry class?**

**Me: … Oh riiiiight! Most of them are oneshots, though. Fact: Here is my daily summer schedule- Wake up, eat breakfast, feed cats, water garden, run 1/2 hour, stuff, eat lunch, swim 1/4 mile, tan 1/2 hour, lots of random stuff, watch two more episodes of Lost, type up FF (;D), eat dinner, stuff, 250 crunches/ 35 pushups, bed. **

**Fang: 'Cause we really needed to know that.**

**Me: Hmph. I guess I didn't whack you hard enough. *whacks with two weasels* That should do it! OK, guys, I want no less than fifty reviews. That's four more! You guys are awesome, so that should be easy-peasy for you!**

**REVIEW AND SHARE MY STORIES!**


	11. Terrible Twos

**A/N: Me: Ugh! I hate reading myself back! I just read this story back on FanFiction, and I saw all these mistakes. :P And my line breaks still aren't showing up!**

**Fang: And don't forget the plot-holes the Voice and the dogs fell into!**

**Me: You're enjoying this, aren't you?**

**Fang: Yup!**

**Me: WELL STOP IT! … Anyway. Either you guys really didn't notice them, or you're too nice to tell me. If it's the latter, pleeeeaaassseee tell me! I can handle it! I'm a big girl!**

**Fang: *snort***

**Me: I'm really starting to regret kidnapping you, Fang. I still kind of think Iggy would've been better.**

**MooMoo: Ouch.**

**Rawr: Burn. **

**Me: :) Fact: I went jogging this morning, and boy am I out of shape for only, like, a month out of hardcore high school track. I'm gonna die when it starts again in November! Club track doesn't cut it.**

June 15, 2011

Max POV

Well, it's the twins' second birthday today! I am not looking forward to the terrible twos, though. Mom said it was _rough_. In some ways, they're already showing it. Like this morning, I tried to get Lizzy into this cute watermelon dress for the little party we're having later, and she threw a fit! Every time I put it on her, she took it off! She screamed, cried, and even said some curse words.

"Where did you hear _that_ word?" I gasped. She just finished telling me she didn't want to wear the f-ing dress.

She sniffled a little. "Uncle Iggy." I growled. Iggy was _so _gonna get it. My daughter has only been talking for a couple months, and he already corrupts her!

"Well don't say it!" I said sternly.

"O-tay." She said glumly.

"Put on the dress."

"No!"

"Elizabeth Rachel Ride you put on this dress right this instant, or so help me I will kick your-"

"Hey girls, what's going on?" Fang gave me a _look_ as he barged in and hugged me, conveniently covering my mouth with his shoulder. "What's the matter?"

"Your daughter will not put on this dress I got for her. And she learned a few new words from _Uncle Iggy_."

He nodded in understanding. He turned to Lizzy, "Why won't you wear the dress, hunny?"

She glared at the floor. Jeez- that kid is getting scary. She'll have the combined forces of my I-will-kill-you-in-your-sleep-with-a-dull-rusty-knife glare and Fang's I-will-beat-you-to-death-with-Mr.-Spoon glare. Don't ask.

"It's stoopid. I don' wanna wear dat dwess!" she yelled.

"Then want do you want to wear?" Fang asked calmly.

She looked thoughtful for a second. She smiled and ran to her closet, and pulled out a horrid, frilly, pink tutu and leotard combination. "Dis one!"

I sighed. Why didn't she have my fashion sense, or lack there of? I really should just leave the clothes shopping to Nudge.

After appeasing Lizzy with her gross tutu outfit, I had to get Tyler dressed as well.

I bent over to do the buttons on his cute, mini polo shirt when he said, "Boobies!"

"_What?_"

He giggled. "Uncle Iggy said dat when I was wittle, I dwank milk fwum yo boobies!"

I stared at him. "I think you guys spend too much time with Uncle Iggy." I finally said, shaking my head. **(A/N: Me: OK- I paraphrased that quote from Viva La Vida Loca by Mz. Random Awesomeness. Read it- it's the inspiration for this story!)**

I finished his buttons, and he ran out of the room and down the hall, shouting "Boobies!" Oh, Iggy is going to double get it.

**This is an awesome line break that better show up or I will kill it- kill it dead. With Mr. Spoon.**

I looked around the living room at my family- Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Ella, _Ian_, Gazzy, Angel, mom, and Total with Akila and Magnolia on the floor. And of course, my two babies. Angel glanced at me. 'Okay, three.' She smiled.

It was present time at the flock house, after a somewhat disastrous lunch. Let just say it involved peanut butter, jelly, crackers, high chairs, plates, and sticky hands. And a pogo stick. And a sombrero. Yup.

Now we were ending this little par-tay with some presents. I gave Lizzy and Tyler each their first one, from mom. "This is from Grandma!"

They tore into their large packages and squealed with joy when they unearthed a four foot stingray stuffed animal (for Tyler) and a four foot dolphin stuffed animal (for Lizzy). They immediately hugged their animals and shouted "Tanks yoo Gramma!"

Angel and Gazzy gave them their presents next. What? We still didn't have that much money…. They each got one of those jumbo coloring books and a set of the jumbo crayons. The twins were ecstatic.

The three dogs (don't ask- I have no idea… probably Angel) got the twins five books- 'Spot the Dog'. Aww, I used to love these!

Ella and Ian gave them two sets of adorable clothes each. The twins weren't _quite _as excited for these, but still cheered and said thank you.

Iggy and Nudge got them two sets of plastic food: one 'ice cream shop' (which had Velcro stackable scoops) and one 'sandwich' shop (which had Velcro 'cuttable' things). They loved these also.

"Okay. For Mommy's and Daddy's present, you have to go outside." They jumped up and ran to the door, Tyler smacking into it because he was running so fast. I opened the kitchen door for them into the backyard, and they ran over to the pool. I put their presents, two floating, inflatable rafts shaped like cars, into it. They jumped for joy and begged to play on them.

"Can we pweeeeaasssee?"

"Yea, Mommy, we wanna pway wif dem!"

"In a little while, baby."

All of a sudden, their faces clouded up, and they started screaming _at the top of their lungs_. I tried to cover my ears at the same time as trying to get them to stop.

"Stop it! Stop screaming! You can play with them later! It's nap time now!" Fang yelled over them. They lay down on the ground and pounded it with their fists and kicked it. I couldn't believe this- they were already throwing a tantrum!

I had had enough. I picked Lizzy up, and spanked her- three times. I nudged Fang, and he did the same to Tyler. Now they were just blubbering.

"It's nap time. You would be able to play on them after you got up, but you're in trouble now. You have to wait until tomorrow now. Do you know why?" I said slowly.

They nodded sadly.

"Good. Now go inside the house with Grandma, and take a nap. I don't want this ever again."

They nodded once more, and my mom took their hands and walked them inside.

"Like that's gonna happen." Iggy snorted.

I turned to him, and said "Oh, you."

He backed away at the menacing tone of my voice. "Uh… me?"

"Oh yeah. Wanna tell me why you've corrupted both of my children? Boobies? And the F word?"

He gulped. "I… uh… I didn't know… um… please don't kill me!" He ran away towards the house, but hit a tree.

I laughed- the tree got him for me.

**A/N: Me: Don't kill me! Please! *hides behind Fang* There will be action in the next chapter, I promise!**

**Fang: Hey! I am not a human shield!**

**Me: I bet Iggy would do it for me!**

**Fang: What are you trying to say?  
><strong>

**Me: I should've kidnapped Iggy!**

**Fang: …. I know at least one reason why you didn't.**

**MooMoo: Oh really?**

**Rawr: Do tell.**

**Me: Be quiet, guys. And what is it, Mr. Emo?**

**Fang: *emo hair swish* I'm hotter.**

**Me: *faint***

**MooMoo: Fnag, look what you did!**

**Rawr: Stupid hot emo boy!**

**Fang: I guess I'm just too smexy. Wait a minute… this means I have to do that fact thing! Darn it! Hmm… let's see… I know! B just signed up to be a Beta reader- so anyone reading this… go for it. Please give five more reviews for this chapter to make it 55. That way, OCD B can have her five reviews per chapter. Bye.**


	12. Apex

**WARNING: THE FOLLWING A/N WAS WRITTEN ON MONDAY THE 20****th**** WHEN I WAS LOSING IT**

**A/N: Me: Hello sunshine, the earth says hello!**

**Fang: Was that even the right quote?**

**Me: LOL probs not XD**

**Fang: OK what drugs are you on now?**

**Me: I'm still kind of high from my sleepover with my BFF and ever and ever Stephanie… weeeeeeeeee spinny chair… HEY LOOK A SQUIRREL :D :D :D :D**

**Fang: Oh lord. Rawr and MooMoo, let's get out of here!**

**Me: DON'T MOVE! I just wanted to… to… what? Oh YEAH! **

**Random: LOL I lovelovelove your little story. Dude, we could totally take Fang. Any day. And my bad about 'Fnag'. It's weird, lol, most of the time I just type 'Fag' XD.**

**BlackRocker99: Ian is Ella's boyfriend of a couple years. I mentioned him in Chapter… like 1… but he's been pretty nonexistent. Sorry.**

**Fact: I started Driver's Ed today! 3 hrs/1 class down, 27 hrs/9 classes left :P iseuijhzfilduiots ah sorry random hand spasm. LALALALALALALALA…. *GRR***

**Fang: *backs away from B* OK, just calm down, B. No need to bite anyone! **

**Me: ROAR!**

**Fang: *screams like little girl and runs away***

August 7, 2013

Max POV

The flock and I were spending a little time relaxing- by flying. What? It's relaxing… for us, at least.

I swerved over to Fang so I could hold his hand. We'd been practicing (;D) so we could be side by side instead of Fang on top of me.

"That's what she said!" Iggy cackled. _Angel_… ugh that child is gonna get it sometime. She just smiled 'angelically' at me.

"Ouch! The f***?" I smacked into Fang as my other two babies dive bombed me from my left side. Fang and I fell about 10 feet while we untangled our wings, and then we flew up right underneath Lizzy and Tyler. We snatched them from mid air and tickled them until they couldn't breathe. We let the twins go and they flew above us so we couldn't attack them again. Dangit!

Nudge and Angel laughed with us while Iggy and Gazzy had a hushed conversation. Either about bombs… or beach bunnies. Darn those two- they'll probably start a perverts' fan club, like Fang and his cult. Herbert the Pervert can be treasurer.

I watched as Lizzy's long, curly black hair and deep black wings glinted in the sun, just like Fang. Tyler's light brown hair, and his brown-with-some-white wings, shone brightly.

"Just like you." Fang murmured, watching them too. I smiled at him and pecked him on the cheek.

**Hopefully this totally-full-of-fnicking-awesomeness line break frickin' shows up!**

Fang and I were on a plaid blanket under the stars in the backyard… on the beach. How cheesy, right? Well, I know. Believe me, when he wants to be, Fang is the cheesiest. Yummy… cheese… wait where was I? Oh right!

But it was also incredibly sweet. I snuggled closer to him, if that was even possible, and looked up at the moon.

"It's amazing." I said.

"Yea. No one has come and bothered us for anything, the babies haven't cried, and Iggy hasn't interrupted with a crude joke." He replied, sounding half-asleep.

I punched his shoulder- maybe a little too hard, as I watched him frown and rub it sleepily. "That's not what I meant. You-"

My witty insult was interrupted by an unnatural _clang_ from a shadowy part of the sand. Fang, always quiet, sat up and looked around. I jerked my head to the right- where the sound had come from. He nodded and stood up. I followed him as we made our way, through the shadows, to the area of the sound.

We looked around- nothing was there. I frowned at Fang. 'Something's not right.' He slowly nodded. 'There's something else here.'

I looked behind him, and saw something move. I opened my mouth to warn him, but at the same moment, two people put clothes soaked with chloroform over both of our faces, and I blacked out.

**Hopefully this totally-full-of-fnicking-awesomeness line break frickin' shows up!**

I woke up slowly- blinking my eyes quickly to focus them. I was lying against Fang, who was lying against a metal wall. I sat up, but when I tried to stand up, I found that everything was tied up. Great.

I felt Fang stir and wake up behind me. He twisted a little bit, but he was tied up like me. He met my gaze and grimaced. Yup- we are in big trouble.

We didn't dare talk, 'cause we might have wires in here or something. So, about an hour later, once my feet and hands and wingtips had gone numb, the door finally opened.

A man- in a white coat, of course- walked in. He was probably 6'3", 250 lbs, all of it muscle. He was African American, and he had on wire rimmed glasses. He walked with a slight limp, favoring his left ankle. He had a gun in one hand and a walkie talkie strapped to his pocket.

"Experiments 1001 and 1002. How nice to finally meet you." he said in a deep voice.

I decided to respond with my usual tact. "Sorry- can't say the same for you."

He ignored me. "We want your help. My corporation, Apex, and I want to work with you. We feel that you and your… flock… would be of value to our purposes."

"Um…who are you? Where are we? What 'purposes'? And why did you kidnap us?" I asked, ignoring him right back. Well… kinda.

"I am Dr. Mathias- Alex Mathias. We are in Apex's state of the art plane- invisibility included. Our goal is very simple." He chuckled. "We want everyone to live under one government, as one nation, one religion, and no war. Finally, 1001, we wanted to talk to you."

I glared at him. God, I hate these megalomaniacs who just want to take over the world. It gets so tiring, you know?

"I don't want to help take over the world, and neither does my family. And who is this 'we'?" I was getting infuriated by the look of exaggerated patience on his face- like I was stupid or something.

"'We' are…." He made a hand motion, and there were suddenly, like, 100 Erasers in the metal plane room. I couldn't help it- I gasped.

"You see, experiments, we have perfected invisibility among other useful powers. But I will give you only one more chance to help us." he intoned.

"Um… no." I said, pretending to think about it.

He shrugged. "Oh well." Then he turned and _shot Fang_.

I screamed and jumped to my feet. Well, I tried to, considering my feet were still tied together. I fell flat on my face, since I had no arms free to catch myself and I heard a _crack_. My nose started bleeding, and it was probably broken.

I started calling Dr. Mathias every curse word I knew, plus some made up ones. I don't know, they sounded mad. Then I started crying and edged my way over to Fang. I hit him with my head on his arm, the only place I could reach. "Fang- get up! Come on, we'll get Iggy or my mom to fix you up. Just get up! God dangit, Fang! _Just get up!_"

I gasped as his eyelids fluttered, and he heaved in a breath. He looked at me, and smiled through bloody lips. "Goodbye, Max. I love you. Take care of the twins for me." He chuckled raspily, and then breathed his last breath.

I choked on my tears and screamed at Dr. Mathias. "How could you? _How could you?"_

**Sike! You really think I would kill Fang? I LOVE Fang! But, LOL, made you… cry? Gasp? Cuss me out? I can only hope. Anyway- here's what really happened.**

I gasped as his eyelids fluttered, and he heaved in a breath. "Ouch." He muttered. Relief made me laugh.

"You just got shot, and you say 'ouch'?"

He shook his head slightly. "My shoulder- the one you were hitting. 'Tis but a flesh wound." Him quoting Monty Python, our favorite movie, made me laugh again.

I turned around and glared at Dr. Mathias.

"Why would you do that?"

He stared blankly back at me. "Fang is not the only one you are tat close to- there are two others I have in mind. Think over it, _Maximum_." The way he said my name made my flesh crawl.

He made another hand signal, and five Erasers, each, grabbed us, and took us to the edge of the plane. They dropped us onto the ground, from about ten feet, and then the plane took off.

I looked at Fang- he was paling, and every so often he'd gasp in pain.

'_Angel, come get us. Bring Iggy and my mom.'_

**A/N: Me: Finally some good action- not just a filler.**

**Fang: Are you off the drugs you were on Monday?**

**MooMoo: I think so.**

**Rawr: But she has another sleepover tomorrow.**

**Fang: Oh dear God.**

**Me: :D HAHA I probably got you with that Fang dying thing LOL. I hoped I would. But seriously…. I would never kill Fang! Fact: I have a hurt ankle. Since last Friday. So… like a little less than a week. I went jogging in the morning, and ever since then it hurt. Anyone know why? Tell me :(**

**Fang: Review- every review helps pay for B's rehab! :D**

**Me: *smack***


	13. Halloween

**A/N: Me: Hellooooo my good people! :D**

**Fang: Your happy glow is blinding.**

**Me: Well, I'm happy that my summer is almost free! Five more days of Driver's Ed left, then… nothing! You and I can hang out all day!**

**Fang: *cringe*'**

**Me: Fact: This weekend at Jr. Olympics regionals, I got- first in pole vault, second in high jump, and second in triple jump! I only got eighth in hurdles :/ But I got three medals!**

**MooMoo: And you got to stay in a hotel suite!**

**Rawr: With a Jacuzzi in it!**

**Me: I know! It was awesome!**

**Fang: And you didn't take me? *whine***

**Me: Ah… no. You complain too much. Bring you places, complain about all the people and having to stay invisible. Leave you home, complain about the crazy cat and being bored. You're too high maintenance.**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: :P**

October 31, 2013

Max POV

I did not want to be doing this. At all. No way Jose did I want to be doing this right now. I had much better things to do with my time. Like… um… you know… that thing…. OK, I don't have anything to do really, but I still hated doing this!

What am I, the great Maximum Ride, raging about? Well I'll tell you. It all started yesterday….

_Flashback_

_I was lying on my bed, and Fang was rubbing my back. Parenting is hard work, and very stressful. Especially if you just got kidnapped a couple months ago by some crazies who you've never heard of._

_I was really stressed out now, considering that the same man shot my husband _and _threatened my two 2 year olds. Fang understood, and he helped me. Even with his bu shoulder. Sure, Iggy was able to heal it up within half an hour, but for a month after that Fang got pains through it. We know well enough never to let him have any medication…. _

_After we told the flock, plus Mom and Ella, what happened, they freaked out, to put it simply. I set up watches in the twins' room for about a month. Everyone was so worried, they didn't even complain about the watches. Yea- it was that bad._

_Nothing ever happened, so eventually I stopped the watches. We were still on alert, but now it was kind f orange instead of red. You know what I mean?_

_My door busted open, and the four- no six- other members of the flock, and Ella, came barging in, all talking at once._

"_Hey!" I yelled. They all stopped talking. "Ever heard of knocking?" I asked. What? You try getting any alone time with your husband with these seven around. I swear…._

"_Max Max Max! It's almost Halloween and-" started Nudge._

"_-we have never had one before and-" continued Gazzy._

"_-it's really really really fun and- " Ella added._

"_-now that the world is all saved and stuff-" Angel went on._

"_-we want to go trick-or-treating!" Iggy finished, bouncing like the younger kids._

"_Pwease, Mommy?" the twins asked at once. They were really good at saying things together._

_I glanced at Fang, and we tipped his head towards me, saying 'You're the leader.'_

_I tipped him a finger. You know which one._

_I looked back at my family, before groaning so loud my throat hurt and turning around again. But, alas, it was too late. The combined forces of Bambi eyes from Nudge (the queen), Angel (the princess), Gazzy (the king- no, not in that sense, perverts in the back), Ella (the… other… queen…?), my twins (the prince and other princess), and… not so much Iggy, however much he tries, hit me full in the face._

_I glanced at Fang, and saw he had been hit too. We looked at each other, and we both knew it was hopeless._

_I admitted defeat. "Alright." Cue cheering. _

"_But don't you need costumes?" Fang inquired._

_The three- wait… Lizzy too? 4- girls smiled evilly. "That's why we're… GOING SHOPPING!"_

So that's how I ended up in the crowded mall, on Halloween morning, holding two toddlers, and watching my family sort through rows of cheap costumes.

I shall not bore you with the _4 hours _it took to get out of there.

In the end, these were the costumes:

Ella and Ian- a couple's costume of a cheerleader and a football player.

Nudge and Iggy- a couple's costume of an outlet and… a plug. Haha.

Angel and Gazzy- an angel and a devil. How original on Angel's part. *sarcasm*

Lizzy and Tyler- a kitten and a puppy- they were adorable!

I was about to pay for their stuff with my mom's credit card when Nudge and Ella grabbed Lizzy and Tyler, respectively, while Iggy and Angel grabbed my shoulders and pushed me into a dressing room.

"What the- let go of me! What are you doing?"

"You need a costume too, Max!" Angel said. Iggy dumped five packages into my arms, and they swiftly exited the room, locking the door.

I groaned, looking at the costumes. A vampiress, a witch, a female gladiator, an ancient Egyptian queen, and a female sailor. They were all couple costumes- a vampire, a wizard, a male gladiator, a pharaoh, and a captain.

All of them involved revealing tops, short skirts, and other general stuff I disliked. I sighed, picking the least bad one- the ancient Egyptian queen, and tried it on.

Looking in the mirror, it didn't seem so bad. I knocked on the door, and the two "guards" outside let me out. The girls gasped and clapped when they saw my costume. Fang's eyes were pretty wide- so for him, that would be cartoon-eyes-on-the-floor.

"Ohmygosh you soooo totally have to buy that!" Nudge exclaimed.

"It is so you!" Ella agreed.

I nodded once, then hurried back into my dressing room. I quickly changed out of the costume, shoved it in the bag, and paid for all the costumes. $180! Jeez. Guess we're reusing costumes!

**This is Halloween; this is Halloween; Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween!**

I giggled as we raced up the driveway of our, like, thousandth house that night. We had each methodically eaten one piece of candy at each house. So, our bags weren't that full. But boy were we getting a lot of candy.

All the couples, plus the two pairs of blood siblings, were holding hands as we arrived, breathless, at the front door. Nudge rang the doorbell, screaming "I get to ring the ding-dong!"* at the top of her lungs. What can I say? The sugar was getting to all of us.

As soon as the door opened, and a little old lady dressed as a hokey witch poked her head out, Gazzy yelled "TRICK OR TREAT, SMELL MY FEET , GIVE ME SOMETHING GOOD TO EAT! IF YOU DON'T, I DON'T CARE, I'LL PULL DOWN YOUR UNDERWEAR!" before dissolving into a fit of giggles with Angel, Lizzy, and Tyler.

The lady looked startled, but handed us each two full size Snickers bars.

"I vill now destroy da Snickahs bahs!" Fang said in a, poor, imitation of Borchty. That sent us all, except Ella ad Ian ('cause they didn't get it) into gut-busting laughter.

We ran across the lawns into the next yard. As we got on the stone pathway to the porch, I realized the lights were off. "Guys… I don't think anyone's home."

Either they didn't hear me (yea right) or the ignored me. Either way, Iggy ran up to the door. He started pounding on the door, screaming at the top of his lungs.* He then grabbed Nudge by the waist and took off down the street, cackling madly, with Nudge shrieking in laughter.

I looked at Fang, then Ella, and we all burst out laughing, running after them.

**This is Halloween; this is Halloween; Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Halloween!**

That was only the beginning. In our hyped up sugary state, we ding dong ditched too many houses to count. We toilet papered one house, and egged another. I have no idea where the eggs and TP came from. So don't ask.

At one point, we walked down the street singing Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus. Fang, Iggy, and Ian had surprisingly good voices. Nudge and Ella also sounded pretty good. The rest of us, except for Gazzy (who sounded exactly like Miley) were apparently tone deaf. We walked past an open garage with a group of, probably drunk, college boys. They started singing along with us- they knew every word.* It was so freaking hilarious!

We collected so much candy, we could barely lug it back to our house. And, with Ian there, we couldn't fly. But we were too high on candy to notice.

When we finally stumbled into our house, a mess of giggling limbs, I was so happy. Blissful, in fact. Tonight, besides a select few with Fang, my kids, etc, was the best night of my live.

**A/N: Me: *Real story. Oh, me and my crazy friends. Good times, good times.**

**Fang: Drunk college kids?**

**Me: Yup.**

**MooMoo: Oh boy.**

**Rawr: I bet that was interesting.**

**Me: Yup. Fact: My sister and I are working on a whole list of horror/creepy stories to write. They are really good ideas! So, like a lot of my stories are humor, now a lot will be horror.**

**Fang: Do they involve people dying? Like… me?**

**Me: *nod* Very violently, too.**

**Fang: *sigh* Wonderful.**

**Me: R&R pwetty pwease!**


	14. Stolen

**A/N: Me: Long time no read, eh?**

**Fang: You were just too lazy to write anything.**

**Me: *sigh* It's like dolphins chirping. I can hear them, but I don't understand it.**

**Fang: … Is that supposed to mock me? Using what Max once said to me?**

**Me: Poor, poor, misunderstood dolphins. Anyway… my reason is that my last day (PRAISE THE LORD!) of driving school was Friday. Then, my 6 year old cousin came over, so I had to babysit her. But now, I plan to actually write something everyday.**

**Fang: Well… since she "can't understand me"… I really want to leave here. This house is psychotic! I… miss… the flock. Please rescue me! The address is 1-**

**Me: *whacks with weasel* Stupid dolphins… giving possible pedos my home address. Anyway… Fact: The flat screen TV in our sun room (which is pretty much our living room) is broken :( When you turn it on, the screen doesn't work. It has to warm up for like an hour.**

**MooMoo: You know what we haven't done in a while?**

**Rawr: A disclaimer.**

**Me: *le gasp* You're right! *ahem* I do not own MR. If I did, it would be like this: Fax forever, Jeb dead, Dylan in a black hole somewhere, Angel would not try to take over the world, Iggy would get his sight back, and… yeah.**

November 10, 2013

Max POV

Fang and I were on the loveseat, Iggy and Nudge were on the couch next to Total and Akila, Angel was on the recliner with Gazzy, and Lizzy and Tyler were in their little playpen in the middle.

I stood up to put in the DVD we were going to watch- Cars. I had voted for Saw 4, but I didn't want the twins dropping the f-bomb everywhere.

Fang passed out the popcorn- two bags each. We eat a lot- don't judge. We settled in just as the opening credits came on.

It was a cute movie, I'll give it that. But it was just a little bit weird. I mean… talking cars? I don't know. Maybe it's just me.

By the time the movie was finished, and Nudge forced us to watch all the special features… it was eleven. I shooed everyone to bed, putting the twins in their little beds last. "Goodnight, Tyler. Goodnight, Lizzy." Fang and I said.

"Nighty night." they yawned back.

I walked back to our bedroom, leaning on Fang's shoulder. I was so whipped, I couldn't even stand up straight. I collapsed on the bed, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

**This is a line break brought to you by Panera Bread's and McDonald's smoothies.**

Only to be woken back up by a huge crash from the living room.

I bolted upright, and flew (not literally, but close to it) down the stairs. I sensed rather than heard, cause we all know he's silent as can be, Fang rushing after me.

I leaped into action as soon as I saw what was in there- Erasers. Like, fifty. Normally, that wouldn't be a problem, but since we were all half asleep, and it was such lose fighting quarters, we were at a disadvantage.

But I tried anyway. I launched into a perfect roundhouse kick at the first one I could reach. I was about to kick it square in the nose when it _disappeared_. I squawked in surprise as I landed on my butt on the floor.

Then I remembered- that white coat who shot Fang. His Erasers could go invisible. Then I also remembered his parting words. "Fang is not the only one you are that close to- there are two others I have in mind. Think over it, _Maximum_." I gasped loudly, then shouted as loud as I could "WATCH THE TWINS!" Nudge and Angel looked at me, nodded, then ran back up the stairs.

The rest of us started fighting like berserkers. Fang and Iggy look so determined, it looked like they would kill all of them. Gazzy looked so cute, his brow furrowed in concentration as he used his strength to break the Eraser's legs. I just went all out crazy. Twirling, biting, scratching, kicking- I was a mess. But when someone threatens my family, they're gonna get it.

All of a sudden, the thirty-something Erasers left (they kept disappearing on us) stopped fighting. They put a finger to their ear, as if listening to something, then they all turned simultaneously and leaped through their previous hole in the wall.

Breathing hard, I shot up the stairs into the twins room. I saw Nudge and Angel, bleeding and out cold, on the floor. The window was broken. The beds were taken apart. But there were no twins in the room.

**This is a line break brought to you by Chick-fil-A's and Sheetz's milkshakes.**

It's that one moment, when you know your child is gone. Probably forever. It is the single most terrifying moment in your entire life. I have faced armies of half men, half wolf creatures. I've beaten down hoards of psychotic scientists who want to kill everyone. I've watched my soul mate die, then come back to life. I grew up in a freaking dog crate! But nothing compares to what just happened. I was dead. My heart was still beating, my lungs were still breathing, my brain was still functioning, but I was dead. I didn't feel anything, so I must be dead.

I couldn't even muster the strength to cry, shout, even throw a single punch. I collapsed on the ground, shaking. I felt people pat my shoulder, stroke my hair, whisper empty words of encouragement in my ears. I felt hugs, kisses, and tears. I sensed Fang and Iggy take off after them, but I knew it was hopeless. My babies were gone. They were taken, to the worst place anyone could ever imagine. They were taken to the place I had been running away from my entire life.

The school.

**A/N: Me: I know it's really short, with a cliffhanger at the end. Don't kill me! **

**MooMoo: Her brother is bugging her nonstop to get off the computer.**

**Rawr: And lying to their mom that B's been on for over an hour.**

**Me: Which is a lie. I still have seven minutes before my hour turn is up. Fact: I have a Webkinz account. But I haven't played it in a while, and all my pets are expired or whatever. **

**MooMoo: Please review!**

**Rawr: We only got two review last chapter, so we're at 63.**

**Me: Pretty pretty please review. Even if it's a 'lol' or a sad face or whatever. I want to get up to seventy, please!**

**Fang: *groan***


	15. Boom

_***********IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IF YOU ALREADY READ THIS CHAPTER, THIS IS JUST AN EXTENSION. IF YOU HAVE ALREADY READ THIS, SKIP HALFWAY DOWN TO READ THE NEW STUFF**********_

**A/N: Me: Ohmygod I love you guys! :D**

**Fang: As you can see, B is extremely happy right now.**

**Me: Yupyupyup! You guys got to 70 reviews like I asked! Yayayayayayayay! :D**

**Fact: Last night, Tuesday, I went to a sleepover. I got… oh… 1 & 1/2 hours of sleep? At the most. Of half-dozing on the couch in between Just Dance 2, Facebook stalking, and Youtube videos. I am actually not that tired… zzzzzzzzZZZZZZZ haha jkjk.**

**MooMoo: Much wootness.**

**Rawr: *blows party horn***

**Fang: You guys annoy me to no end. Like Spongebob and Patrick to Squidward.**

**MooMoo: Haha!**

**Rawr: You're a squid! XD**

**Me: OK- some people have been kind of confused, it seems, about what's going on in the story. I don't know why. But here's a recap: **

**Ages (at this point in the story)-Max/Iggy/Fang: 19**

** Nudge/Ella/Ian: 16**

** Gazzy: 13**

**Angel: 11**

**Lizzy/Tyler: 2**

**Pairings (at this point in the story)- Max/Fang (married w/ kids)**

**Iggy/Nudge (dating)**

**Ella/Ian (dating)**

**Total/Akila (married)**

**Powers: Max: ****Limited telekinesis, super speed and breathe underwater**

**Iggy: ****Heal minor and moderate injuries, sense colors and see when 'blinded'**

**Fang: Control ice/fire, ****invisibility and breathe underwater**

**Nudge: ****Make hallucinations, draw metal and feel emotions**

**Gazzy: S****uper strength, mimicking and atomic fart**

**Angel: ****Read/control minds, breathe underwater, talk to fish, and complete shape shift**

**Lizzy: Turn things invisible**

**Tyler: Run super fast**

**Everything up to the last half of FANG happened. So Dylan and Dr. HG exist, but Fang never died/came back to life or left. The flock have their own house on the beach in Arizona, near to Max's mom/Ella's house. The world is saved. Recently, a new enemy named Dr. Alex Mathias showed up. Then, Erasers took Lizzy and Tyler a couple months later.**

**Fang: *tries to attack MooMoo and Rawr***

**Me: *sigh* I gotta go break this up. See ya at the bottom.**

December 22, 2013

Max POV

I sat slumped on my bed for the umpteenth day in a row. I hadn't showered but once, hadn't brushed my hair at all, and only changed my clothes a couple of times. It seemed like, without my children, the ones I had given birth to and raised, nothing mattered.

Fang came in my room like he did everyday, and sat next to me.

"Max." he whispered. "It's been over a month. We have to go find them." He smoothed my snarled hair down.

"What's the point?" I rasped, voice unsteady after very little use. "We have no idea where they are, or if… they're even alive." Tears started trickling down my face at that last statement. Like they did everyday.

Abruptly, Fang stood up. "I can't take it anymore Max!" he shouted. "You have been moping around for a month and a half. We've been doing all the research we can, every second of everyday. Nudge is so exhausted from using her techno powers, she's barely talking, Iggy isn't cracking sexist jokes, Gazzy isn't being gassy, and Angel has exhausted her mind reading powers to the point where she falls asleep if she tries to read anyone's mind! We're running ourselves down trying to find the twins, and you're moping! And when, not if, but when we find where they might be, we're going after them- with or without you."

I sat, too shocked to do anything. That was the single longest thing I had ever heard him say, ever. And, he angrily swiped at his eyes with his sleeve, and I'm sure I heard a tiny sniffle.

He took a deep breath, opened his mouth to say something, but then turned on his heel and left.

**There is a little contest down at the bottom A/N- read it! …. Carry on.**

I woke up the next morning, full of energy. Why, you ask?

Well, after Fang shouted at me, I sat and thought. About what, you say. Well… everything. The twins, Dr. Mathias, the flock, Fang, me…. And I made a choice. I was going to get my twins back. Whatever the cost.

Last night, I had a dreamless sleep. Except for one.

I was in the middle of a desert. I was alone- even with my raptor vision, I couldn't see anything or anyone. I started walking to the west. Before I even got 10 steps, I stopped. Right in front of my face, there was a glowing orb.

I peered into it, trying to see what it was made of, when it spoke.

"_Hello, Maximum."_ It was the Voice!

"Um…hi?"

"_You need some help?"_

"Um… I guess so."

"_Your twins are at the beginning."_

"Wait… what?"

"_You can find your children at the beginning."_

"Of what?"

"_You."_

After that annoyingly vague statement, the orb vanished, leaving me in the twilight of the desert.

So I woke up and took a shower. I brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, and changed into clean clothes. I bounded into the kitchen, and I swear everyone's mouths hit the floor.

Nudge, of course, was the first person to speak.

"Yay Max you're not a zombie! 'Cause, you know, you were holed up in your room for a long time, and your clothes were all gross, and you wouldn't talk, and you were thin from not eating, and Iggy said-" Angel made Nudge smack her own hand on her mouth this time.

"Yes, I am not a zombie. I… have decided that I needed to get my a- butt in gear." I smiled at them, and everyone looked so grateful and relieved. Huh- was I really that bad? Geez… they were my kids, but imagine what would happen if Fang left me… *shudder* God forbid that ever happening! **(A/N: Me: ;D Fang: *facepalm*)**

"Anyway!" I yelled clapping my hands together. "Anyone have any ideas?"

Everyone muttered and shook their heads. "Well, it's not in The _School _School 'cause we blew that place up. Other than that, we have no idea. Maybe it's in France! *gasp* I would love to go to France again! All the museums and all-" This time Iggy did the honors.

"Well…" I started, feeling weird about telling people this. "I had a dream last night." I decided to skip the theatric scenery and junk. "The Voice told me I needed to go to the beginning… of me… to find my kids."

I received blank, confused stares. "So… anyone have any idea what in the heck that means? No? Well, crap." I slumped down into an empty chair, and grabbed a plate, then filled with waffles, bacon, sausage, and syrup. There was silence except for my chewing.

"Well… where did you start?" Fang said slowly.

I swallowed. I furrowed my brow. "Well… Colorado maybe?"

He shook his head. "I think it meant The School- in Death Valley."

Now I was just annoyed with all this fortune cookie B.S. "Then if you know, why did you ask me in the first place, huh?" I snapped. I took a deep breath. "Anyway… we blew that up years ago."

Iggy shrugged. "It's worth a try."

I sighed, scarfed down the last few waffle pieces, and jumped up. "OK, everyone, let's go!" They all followed me out the door into the morning sun.

**This is a reminder to read the contest at the bottom of this chapter :D**

I flew below the clouds, normally too low. But since we were in the middle of fricking nowhere, I figured it would be fine.

I spotted something gleaming a few miles away. In the desert haze, it was too miragy to make out, but I pointed it out. "Yo, building at 11 o'clock. Coming up in a few miles."

As we glided closer to the building, Fang swerved to my side. "They're there, and we're gonna get them back. I just know it." He took my hand and squeezed it a little.

I grinned shakily back, and gave his hand a tight squeeze.

At this point, we were above the building. I figured they didn't expect anyone to drop out of the sky, so they must not have alarms on the roof. I hoped.

I landed in a fast roll, prepared to fight through Erasers to get to my babies. But no one came. I motioned that it was safe for my flock to come down, and one by one they landed behind me.

We walked, single file, always watching, towards a door marked 'STAIRS'. About half way there, I hit something big with a metal _clang_. Fang bumped into me, but managed to steady me. I tentatively reached out, and, sure enough, I felt a smooth metal… thing.

"Airplane." Fang whispered. I nodded- the doctor's fancy-schmancy invisible plane.

I went around it, and quietly opened the, thankfully well oiled, door.

After the stairs, we came to a long, empty, white hallway. I cautiously led the way, looking through windows and doors along the way. Nothing- not a single white coat.

That is, until we got to an elevator. I made ye contact with Fang. I could tell we were thinking the same thing. We really, really, _really_ didn't want to go in that, but there were no stairwells, and we had to find Lizzy and Tyler. In the end, I stepped forward and pressed the button,

A really loud klaxon alarm sounded, making all of us cringe and cover our sensitive ears. Poor Iggy. I heard pounding footsteps down the hall coming towards us.

"Run!" I shouted, turning back the way we came. I screeched to a halt as we came face to face with 80 some Erasers. The each held up a dart gun type thing, only with more technology stuff. We each got five tranquilizers in us, and then the world went black.

_********** THIS IS WHERE THE NEW STUFF IS. IF YOU ALREADY READ THIS CHAPTER, THIS IS THE EXTENSION OF IT***********_

I woke up in a cage. What a place to wake up, huh? I warily got on my hands and knees, painfully aware of my spinning head.

I did a 360. I was in a white room, of course. The weird thing was, I was alone. Usually the flock and I are in one room. '_Angel?'_ …. No answer. I had no idea where my family was, or what was happening to them. So far, this rescue mission was an epic fail.

I tried to open the lock on my cage door. "God dangit!" I ran my hands through my hair in frustration- it was a combination lock. If only Iggy were here….

Wait a minute! I felt through my hair… "Aha!" I found my golden opportunity for escape- a bobby pin.

Now, usually, I would never go near any kind of hair accessory. But, Nudge had force clipped my bangs back before we left, saying it was 'a poof' style or something. Trust Nudge to think of hairstyles before a rescue mission. I didn't feel like taking it out, so I had left it there. I had secretly enjoyed the lack of hair in my face while flying, though.

Anyway- it sure was useful now! I carefully snaked my skinny arm through a hole in the cage, and pressed the bobby pin into the lock. I grunted, twisting it around for a few minutes, until finally… _click!_

I pressed the door open, its oiled hinges not making a sound. I did a quick victory fist pump before edging out of the room.

The hallway was empty, as before. I scooted down to the right, keeping against the wall. I checked the first closet I came to- just cleaning supplies. The next one, 150 ft down the hall, was full of filing cabinets. Finally, the one almost 500 from the door, had some lab coats in it. Again, a quick and silent fist pump before I grabbed six and moved on. I quickly threw one on, saving the other coats for the flock.

As I snuck down the hall, I couldn't help but notice that the security sucked butt in this place! I mean, who jut lets a mutant out of a room and walk down the hall? Geez.

I looked in every door window as I walked through the School. Most were empty, some were offices, and some were full of cages. I had to force myself to walk past those, thinking of my family first. A lot of rooms were also prepped for surgery, and I hoped they weren't for the flock or me.

I rounded a corner and came face to face with three white coats, all talking about a new experiment or whatever. I nodded to tem as I passed, trying to look professional while barefoot and holding five extra lab coats.

They didn't even notice me as they brushed past me. I let out a breath I didn't know I had been holding and walked on. Eventually, I came to a room where the rest of the flock were sitting in a circle, cuffed together with their wings tied down.

Checking to make sure the hallway was empty (it always was), I quickly opened the door and squeezed into the room.

Everyone's head shot up, relief flaring in their eyes when they saw it was me. Nudge smiled the biggest, and did a little happy shimmy.

I went to Iggy, and unlocked him first. I saw the question in Fang's eyes, and I answered "He can pick locks he fastest." Fang gave a quick nod.

As soon as Iggy picked a cuff lock, in half the time it took me with my cage, I would tear the ropes off that flock member and gave them a white lab coat. And we get the irony, thanks. Everyone was free and dressed like white coats within three minutes.

We shot out the door, and continued down the hall the way I was going. We cleared the doors much faster, with five people looking in them (and one person listening through them).

We had pretty much done almost an entire circle back to my room. We had two encounters with Erasers (they weren't fooled by the coats- but we dealt with them) and one more group of white coats. They didn't pay any attention to us either.

We were nearing my old room, and I was just about to give up and go to the next floor, when Nudge whisper screamed "I found them!" She was two rooms to the left of where I was. _Well, aren't I smart?_

'_Don't be too hard on yourself, Max. It was just a little game of the doctor's.'_

_Well, well, well. 'Hello, Voice. Long time no annoy.'_

'_You must get out of there, now!'_

'_Heck no! I'm not leaving without my babies!'_

'_You are risking everyone's lives!'_

'_Well, that's just too darn bad for them, now isn't it?'_

I shut out the Voice as best as I could, and followed the flock into the room- Iggy had picked the lock during my little in-head argument. That will never not sound weird.

We were in some kind of sick nursery. There were cribs and cages everywhere, full of half dead and dead mutants gone wrong. It smelled terrible, like no one ever cleaned up the bodies or poop.

We spread out to find Lizzy ad Tyler quicker. I was trembling from nerves, and excitement form seeing my kids again.

"Here." came Fang's ever so quiet voice. He was in the top right corner of the room, looking into a small cage.

I rushed over. There, curled up in the small size pet cage, were the fraternal twins. They looked dirty, dehydrated, exhausted, and malnourished, but they were there. Iggy quickly picked the lock and stepped back.

I leaned forward and grabbed Lizzy, handing her to Fang. He immediately hugged her close to him. I grabbed Tyler, clinging on to him as if he were a lifesaver.

Tyler and Lizzy stirred. "Mommy?" Tyler croaked. I let out a small sob. I was so happy they were alive. I hugged him tighter. "I'm here. I'm here."

I whirled around when I heard slow, loud clapping behind us in the doorway. Dr. Mathias was there, surrounded by five Erasers on steroids. Seriously, they were huge!

"Well done, Maximum. You found your family and released them all. Unfortunately, you can't escape. We haven't even done any tests on you yet." he said.

That was it. I had had enough. I set Tyler on the ground, and he ran unsteadily into a corner, Lizzy doing the same. Everyone got into fighting stances.

"Me one. Jabba zebbit. Nexus. On three." I ordered, using the secret language Jeb had taught us so long ago. It meant "I'll take leader. Everyone else split up. Kill them. On one."

"One." I said, and the flock leapt into action. Angel immediately made hers stab itself with a huge needle. It fell over soon after. Nudge distracted hers with some hallucination, and snapped his neck. Gazzy literally ripped his Eraser's head off with his super strength. Iggy merely took an explosive out of his underwear and threw it down the Eraser's shirt. The Eraser panicked, fumbling for the bomb, but he soon was splatter on the wall. Fang froze the entire Eraser, and kicked and pummeled him until he was cubes on the floor.

Needless to say the battle was very short.

I saved the doctor for last so he could get a little afraid. His eyes widened at the sight of his 'army' destroyed within seconds, but other than that, nothing. Oh well.

"What you're doing here is wrong, doctor. So we're stopping you." I popped his eardrums, broke his left knee cap with a side kick, snapped his right hand into pieces, and finally shoved his nose into his brain with my hand.

I stepped back, barely breathing hard. "Report." Everyone said fine. "Let's go home."

I grabbed Lizzy, Fang grabbed Tyler, and we ran. At least I killed Dr. Mathias before he could call for back up. We ran through the hallways until we found a door to the outside. As soon as we stepped foot onto the grass, we took off. They already knew we where there.

I kissed Lizzy on the head, glad she was finally home safe.

**A/N: Me: Sorry to confuse everyone, but I needed to get off the computer before I could finish the chapter on Thursday, and I just now finished it on Sunday. Dumb siblings and busy schedule….**

**Fang: *ahem* Your contest. It's still on, isn't it?**

**Me: Why yes, yes it is. Here are the rules again.**

**Sister: HI! Here is the contest: Whoever gives us the best idea for a horror story, in a review or PM, gets sneak peaks of two horror stories that we are writing right now! One by me, one by my sissy! YAY! **

**MooMoo: It has to be T rated.**

**Rawr: And preferably gory, but with a twist or pschyo-thrill to it.**

**Me: But it doesn't have to be. Either way, submit your ideas! The contest closes… hmm… Wednesday July 13.**

**Fang: I hope we don't get too many messed up ones… you never know with our reviewers.**

**Sister: Guess what. I GOT A PET! It's a pony! **

**Fang: AKA dog. AAKA imaginary dog. Why are you even breathing?**

**Sister: No. Spike is real. So is Squishy.**

**Fang: Squishy?**

**Sister: Yes. My pet tummy. Get em boys!**

**Fang: *screams like a little girl* *runs away***

**Sister: MWHAHAHAHAHAHA! WHERE'D YA HIDE THE RAZORS NOW, YOU STUPID EMO BOY?**

**Me: And that was my lovely sister. Fact: At the sleepover, we watched Rocky Horror Picture Show. Never. Ever. EVER. Watch that. I needed brain bleach, and was 20 IQ points lower, after watching that. I don't even want to know what the people who made it were on. *shudder*** **Submit your ideas, and R&R!**


	16. Wedding 2

**A/N: Me: Hello, everybody! This is the next installment of La Belle Vie. Remember, if you already haven't go back and read chapter 15- I changed it!**

**Fang: Can we just get on with the story now? You've been worrying about chapter 15 for days now!**

**Me: Just… shut up, Fang. Shut up. I am so sick and tired of your constant complaining!**

**Fang: Then let me go!**

**Me: Um… no.**

**Fang: D***it!**

**MooMoo: Oh?**

**Rawr: Was that a curse word?**

**Fang: Uh… no?**

**Me: I think it was. MooMoo, Rawr- get the soap!**

**Both: *scamper off***

**Me: Rocketdog791- Yea, I know. This story isn't supposed to be suspenseful, just fluffy and happy. Most of the time. But I do have some things planned to get out of the boring stuff. **

**Fact: I have been in two commercials, two movies, and multiple fashion shows :D**

**Fang: Uh… hehe… what's the soap for?**

**Me: *sweet smile* Noooothin'.**

**Fang: Uh oh.**

January 5, 2014 (This year, F/M=20, N/E/Ian= 17, G=14, A=12, L/T= 3)

Max POV

Nowadays, I just couldn't get enough of cuddling with my kids. That makes sense, considering they'd just been to h-e-double hockey sticks and back.

Take right now, for instance. I was leaning on the couch, kind of dozing off, holding one toddler in each arm. I almost never left them alone- even with Fang. I was almost always near them now.

I was just having the weirdest half-dream kind of thing, about a T-rex and a platypus squirting soap into Fang's mouth, when Nudge and Ella burst through the front door, chattering and giggling.

I groaned, and shifted Lizzy and Tyler off of me so they could continue their nap. I walked over to the foyer to tell them to be quiet, or else the twins would wake up. And, with my don't-wake-me-up-before-noon-or-I-will-murder-you-in-your-sleep attitude and Fang's don't-wake-me-up-period attitude, they were pretty darn scary when woken up.

"OMG Max! You'll never guess what Ella just told me! It was so sweet and now I'm so excited! Last night, on their dinner date, Ian-"

"NUDGE!" Ella shouted, covering her mouth with a hand. Well, crap. Too late now. I sighed as I heard angry cries and noises from the couch. "Both of you, shut up! Wait right here- I'll be right back." I said as I walked back over to the couch.

"Shh, shh, it's okay. Go back to sleep, finish your nap." I cooed, rubbing their backs.

"Hi Mommy." Tyler yawned.

"Hi. Go back to sleep, or you'll be grouchy at dinner, and no one likes that. So shh."

Once they both were asleep again, 10 minutes later actually, I stalked back over to the girls. "What was so important that you had to wake up the twins of death?"

"Ian-"

"Nudge!" Ella whispered. "It's my thing, let me tell her!" Nudge nodded, blushing. Ella faced me. "Well, last night, Ian… proposed! We're getting married at the end of this month!"

I stared at her for a second, then squealed. I know, I know- what an un-Max like thing to do. But my only biological sister was getting married, and as someone who's already married, I can say that it is awesome. "Oh my God, that's incredible! OH MY GOD!" I shouted, forgetting my warnings a few seconds ago.

I hugged her, jumping around in a circle. Nudge joined in too. I guess she was still happy about it. Crazy kid.

"What's all the noise about?" Fang's deep voice sounded from _right fricking next to me_. I leaped a good 2 feet in the air, and squeaked, before smacking him on the arm.

"First of all, stop doing that! God!" He just smirked, and I knew he would never stop scaring the crap outta me. "Second of all, Ella has some good news." I looked at her pointedly, and Fang followed my gaze.

"Um… Ian and I are getting married." she said, a bit nervously. God- she's known Fang for almost six years, and he still intimidates her. Well… I guess I could see why. He was tall, dark, strong, handsome… hot… BAD MAX!

I shook the hormonal thoughts out of my head just in time to catch Fang saying "Congrats. When's the wedding?" with his specialty half smile.

"Um… end of this month."

He nodded, smiled again, and get this- he actually hugged her! Well, it was more of a one-armed squeeze thing, but still. Fang. Hugging someone? I knew my mouth was hanging open, cause Fang smirked and pecked my cheek before walking away.

"Okay, I hope you don't mind me saying this, but… dang, he is so hot!" Ella exclaimed.

I giggled. "I know. And be quiet, with his super hearing, his ego will get even bigger!"

Of course, Fang walked around the corner from the kitchen, and chuckled, "Thanks Ella."

Ella blushed bright red, while I groaned. "Ego."

**This is a line break brought to you by Rasinets. I love mixing them with popcorn! :D**

January 29, 2014

Max POV

I have to admit, Nudge, Angel, and I did a great job on Ella's wedding. Even me, who I thought had no talent what so ever, did some good.

Ella wanted to have hers on the beach instead of the woods. So we stretched a long red carpet from the edge of the san to just out of reach of the water. We set up 4 rows of park bench type seats on either side of the carpet, on the water side. At the corners of the "church room", we had big columns wrapped in twinkling lights. Streamers and more lights connected each column, forming a square around everything.

Akila was the maestro, and Total was the priest (why? I keep asking myself the same question). Lizzy was the flower girl, and Tyler was the ring bearer. They were so adorable! Ian's best man was one of his friends from grade school- Nudge and Angel were bridesmaids, and I was Ella's maid of honor. Gazzy, Fang, and Iggy just stood next to Nudge, Angel, and I, looking handsome. It was pretty much the same audience form my wedding- Wendy K. crew, Dylan, Dr. HG, Jeb, plus a few distant family members and some of Ella's school friends.

The girls and I all wore the same pink, satin dress. It was a low cut v-neck, the opening surrounded by beads. There was lace around the middle, where it fitted around the waist, before it poofed out again below. It had the puffy sleeves found in fairy tales, and was subtly glittery. I hated it.

Ella appeared at the top of the carpet, being led by mom. As they walked slowly down the carpet, I admired Ella's dress.

It was an off white ivory dress, with beads spun in shapes (like flowers) all over it. It had a transparent, turtle neck type top, which was all lacy and frilly. It had three quarter length sleeves, and about an inch of it was on the floor. She had a huge train, almost 10 feet. She even had on a white veil over her face.

The ceremony was long and somewhat dull. Funny- I don't remember it being this long when Fang and I got married. Maybe 'cause I was too busy looking at him, and screaming in my mind _holy cow he's mine haha Dylan hahahahaha Brigid oh my gosh I love him when is Total gonna finish but look how good Fang looks in that tux_ and so on. Heh.

As Total droned on and on, I occupied myself by looking at everybody here. Gazzy and Iggy were fidgeting, which was not a good sign. Mom, Angel, and Nudge looked like they were about to burst into tears. Pansies. Fang looked impassive, almost bored, as usual.

Ian and Ella looked like they were about to burst out in song, with rainbows and flowers and cue fluffy animals in the background. Yea. They looked that happy. Blech. But they looked like… they wanted to be together for the rest of their lives. Which, now that I think about it, was actually happening.

Ah, great- now I see where the tears were coming from.

"Then you may kiss the bride!" Total proclaimed, seemingly randomly. I jolted out of my random thoughts to see Ian dip Ella down, and almost make out with here. Eww- is that what Fang and I looked like? I can't even remember.

Everyone, including myself, stood up and cheered and clapped. Me mostly because it was over.

**This is a line break brought to you by Almond Joys. Yummy!**

The reception was held at a popular outdoor seafood restaurant in town. It actually wasn't low class at all, for a… outdoor seafood restaurant. They had a dance floor and buffet style food tables right next to the beach. There was a lot of alcohol, too. Lovely. Drunk people.

The reception lasted for a couple hours, which were filled with eating, dancing, kissing, laughing, and a general good time. Most of which were with Fang. ;D

By the time Ella and Ian cut the cake together, half the adults were drunk, the other half were tipsy, and I'm pretty sure Nudge and Iggy were making out down on the beach. Sigh.

All in all, the reception was awesome and I had a great time. And I'm sure Ian and Ella were gonna have a good time at their honeymoon in Barbados. Lucky ducks. Not that my honeymoon wasn't amazing….

"Iggy! What the heck are you doing?" I spotted Iggy, hand around Nudge's waist, headed towards the alcohol table.

"Uh… just looking?" he replied.

"Yea. Right. Come on, it's time to go home anyway." My statement was followed by a chorus of whining from the rest of the flock (except Fang… of course) who I had already gathered. "Yea, yea, yea, shut up."

**A/N: Me: Yay wedding!**

**Fang: *gags* What the ehck was in that soap?**

**Me: … Dish detergent.**

**Fang: *retch***

**MooMoo: So B's sister posted a new story yesterday.**

**Rawr: It's horror, and should be pretty good.**

**Me: So check it out. CONTEST WINNER TIME! The winner of my contest is… **Sarcastic-Brat-With-Wings**! Yay! My question to you is- do you just want the summary/first chapter, or do you want the full spoiler outline of the whole story also?**

**Fang: Blech this soap tastes nasty!**

**Me: … That's why it's soap. Fact: One of the movies I was in was Nicole Kidman's **_**The Invasion**_**. I got to meet her- she's really nice! I was just in the background… but still.**

**MooMoo: Don't forget to…**

**Rawr: R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R!**

**Fang: *puke***


	17. Valentine's Day

_*****OK, SO APPARENTLY THIS CHAPTER DIDN'T ADD ON LAST NIGHT! ARRRGGGHHH! *****_

**A/N: Me: Hihi! God… every day I don't update FF seems like a day wasted….**

**Fang: That's 'cause you have no other life.**

**Me: You know, no one's talking to you Fang.**

**Fang: No one ever talks to me.**

**MooMoo: Aw, poor Fangy is sad :(**

**Rawr: You need a hug?**

**Fang: Touch me and you die! What I meant was, no one ever directs comments at me, but I butt in anyways.**

**Me: Yea… I know… it's really annoying. Fact: Today was, like, 'household clean your room day'. Everyone just randomly started cleaning/redecorating their rooms. It was pretty weird, but also very productive.  
><strong>

**Fang: Yea, and it made it extremely hard for me to hide :P**

**Me: Well, I'm pretty sure my mom/brothers/dad would think Sister and I were crazy. So… can't let you out of hiding. Sorry.**

**Fang: :(**

February 14, 2014

Max POV

I woke up this morning, dreading the day. I mean, more than usual. At first, I didn't know why. Maybe it was A) Fang wasn't next to me when I woke up :( B) A hyperactive teenage bird kid with floofy brown hair woke me up at 8 am. I mean, 8 am! That's like… for… psychos like Iggy! Or C) It was Valentine's Day.

Every year before Fang and I were together, the flock would make a huge deal of Valentine's Day, apparently to "force us lovebirds to finally get together". I learned to despise Valentine's day.

But, since Fang and I have gotten together, a couple years now, plus the two other couples around here- "Niggy" and "Illa", it was even more of a big deal. It made me want to puke.

Sighing heavily, I followed Nudge downstairs. Even before we hit the stairs, I saw pink, white, and red hearts on the walls. Oh boy.

It was even worse when we got downstairs. There were thousands of hearts, cutesy confetti, pink and white balloons, red and white streamers, the whole works. "Why is there mistletoe?" I asked, looking up above the kitchen table.

"For kissing, duh!" Nudge yelled. Then she dragged Iggy away from the very-good-smelling breakfast he was cooking. She positioned him right underneath the hanging plant, before promptly making out with him. Ew. I looked and saw Angel and Gazzy, smiling a little bit, but mostly looking disgusted.

"OK, enough! Keep it PG-13 around here, please!" I yelled. I yelled again (well… more like shrieked) when two arms wrapped around me from behind.

A stay in a comfy house hadn't dulled my reflexes- nuh uh. I whirled around and dealt a swift punch into… Fang's face. He let go of me and started massaging his already-bruising check bone.

I gasped. "Oh, I'm really sorry Fang! Hey… wait a minute! It's not _my _fault! Huh- teach you to sneak up on me!" He gave me a dry look. One that said 'one punch ain't gonna keep me from scaring the blank out of you!'

I rolled my eyes. "What, Fang?" I said.

"Morning." he murmured, giving me a kiss.

"Gee, thanks." I responded sarcastically, even though my thoughts were like _hjrcn unc umnppnyn opi kiss kiss kiss kiss kiss khdsyioion ioyoiropyn_. In other words, mush.

Then, to make the air get more clogged up with romantical blah, Ella and Ian walked through the door holding hands.

"Hi everybody!" Ella cheered happily.

"Hey." Ian nodded. Wow, he's almost as quiet as Fang.

Ian was pretty good looking. But… not as hot as Fang. Ian had natural platinum blonde hair, which sort of fell over his eyes. His eyes were an amazing deep blue, like the ocean. He was probably about 6 feet tall, and was pretty buff. He was a really nice guy. Nice, Ella.

"OK, since it's Valentine's Day, we should play a game!" Ella said, getting right into the spirit of things. Ian shook his head, voicing the male (and my) opinion.

"Ooh, what game?" Nude squealed. Luckily, she had let Iggy go and finish breakfast- I was starving.

"It's called secret cupid!" Ella said, clapping her hands. I groaned- it sounded like a variation of Secret Santa, which I didn't hate, but it was hard to find a gift.

"It's where you go out and buy something for your Valentine! It's not really 'secret' per se, but it'll still be fun!" Ella continued.

Trying not to play the game (**A/N: Me: Arrgh I lost the game!) **I asked "Well, what about Gazzy and Angel?" They didn't, thank god, have a Valentine, or whatever.

"It's ok, we can buy a present for each other!" **(A/N: Me: WEST VIRGININA WEST VIRGINIA! Fang: You know, people from WV probably read this? Me: Whoops. It was a joke.) **Angel said, Gazzy beaming. He probably already told Angel what he wants in his head.

I kept it up though. "What about Tyler and Lizzy?" Even Fang looked at me cok-eyed at that one.

"Um… they probably wouldn't understand anyway." Ella said slowly.

"They're almost three." I muttered, defeated. "Oh, whatever." I sighed at everyone's loud cheers.

**I love Smosh. I LOVE Smosh, Smosh, Smosh, Smoshy Smosh Smosh! … Smosh.**

I was walking with Nudge, Ella, and Angel in the mall. Apparently, the "hottest new thing to get your BF is clothing, duh!" Ugh.

We walked into a men's clothing store, which reeked almost as bad as Hollister with cologne. Nudge and Ella immediately ran over to the checkered shirts, polos, and button downs. I sniggered at the thought of Fang wearing those. He'd be so pissed!

I actually fantasized about the thought of getting him one, just to see the look in his face. I'd of course have his real gift, and return the bad one. Hey… that's not such a bad idea! But… what do I really get him?

I thumbed through the nearest rack, and immediately stumbled onto the perfect fake gift. It was a button down shirt, with a collar. It had pink, purple, yellow, and red vertical stripes going down the white background. I actually let out a laugh when I thought of Fang in this colorful shirt.

I threw it over my arm and went to get the real present- which would be what?

Ella POV (WTF)

I let a smile play over my lips as I imagined Ian. What on earth should I get him? He's not a materialistic kind of guy. I noticed Max smiling as she lifted an ugly shirt form the rack. Oh dear- Fang won't like it at all.

I roamed away from Nudge's and Angel's chatter, looking for the perfect… something. I tried to think of things that Ian liked- animals, surfing, sunrises, me (tee hee!), pizza, chips…. I walked over to the music store right across the mall-hallway type thing.

Inside, I saw something that I think he would really like- actually, it was kind of… pefect!

I full out beamed as I brought my purchase up to the front, already thinking of what we'd do later. (;D)

Nudge POV (WTF?)

I flicked through the clothes, nothing catching my interest. What to get a guy as cool as Iggy? I mean… he was like… one of a kind! So, like, what do I get him?

I Max smiling as she lifted a hideous multi colored shirt from the rack. What was she thinking? Fang will, like, totally hate that! I then saw Ella headed for the music store, and apparently find something she liked, because a few seconds later, she was out with a paid for bag. I sighed- was everyone finding something but me?

"No, they just have a plan." Angel piped up form behind me.

"Ok…." I replied.

"I know what you can get Iggy!" Angel said. My eyes widened, and I nodded energetically. I listened as she quietly told me, and a humongo smile spread on my face. It was, like, perfect! I hurried off to the store around the corner, ready to get home and get id ready to give to Iggy-kins.

Angel POV (WTF?)

I grinned as I saw Max going to get her present(s) for Fang, Ella finally finding the gift for Ian, and Nudge running off to find the thing for Iggy. It was easy for me to stay with them, because I already knew what Gazzy wanted. It sometimes came in handy, reading minds.

Since no one else needed help, I skipped off to the entertainment store behind the clothing store. I already knew what Gazzy wanted, so I walked right in. I saw it in the back, grabbed it, and… possibly… did a little mind controlling… but that's besides the point.

I rushed to our meeting point at the fountain, eager to get home and wrap it.

Fang POV (WTF?)

I walked behind Iggy, Gazzy, ad Ian, not really interested in their chatting. I was constantly on the lookout. What? I don't want to run into the guy who shot me. Wouldn't you want to avoid that person too?

I was immersed in my thoughts, so I was startled when the three guys turned into a store. I looked at it- oh God. Oh, f*** no! Why on _Earth_ were we going in there?

Victoria's Secret. Every man must hand over their man card, or at least lose major man points, by walking into that store.

I followed hesitantly, already seeing the guys disperse into the huge store. Oh, great. Like Max would accept anything from this store!

I walked around the perimeter, simultaneously watching the guys and keeping an eye out for trouble.

Iggy walked into me. "Oh, hey Fang." he said. I didn't even bother to ask how he knew it was me.

"Why the heck are we in here?" Especially Gazzy- he was getting something for his freaking sister!

"Uh, because Ian and I want stuff from our girls, if you know what I mean." he said, wagging his eyebrows. "And, Gazzy thought Angel might like one of their stuffed poodle thingies."

"Ah. And what am I supposed to get that isn't going to make Max kill me- twice?"

"Um… they have some perfume… and they have some sweatpants… but there's always lingerie!" he said, with more eyebrow action.

I pushed past him, leaving him grinning, to see the sweatpants. Too bad they were all skin tight and pink. She would hate them. I grinned a little, imagining her face if she pulled them out of a bag.

Actually… that's not so bad. If I got her these… she'd probably be kinda mad. And she is _hot_ when she's mad. But then, I'd get here a totally awesome real present, and we'd make up. A lot. Later.

And, even better, I saw a perfect place to get her the real present. Maybe this is easier than I thought.

Iggy POV (WTF?)

I chuckled to myself, thinking of how good Nudge would look in this lacy stuff. Well… what I could imagine her looking like.

I felt a small twinge of sadness, but it went away pretty quickly. I felt more lacy stuff, when I got the best idea ever! Even better than shredding Max's jeans to make a fuse!

I felt all the colors, picking out the brightest ones I could feel. Then I went to the bras. Aw yeah! I picked out more bright colors, liking the ay the lace and colors felt together.

In the end, I had a neon green set, a hot pink set, and a lemon yellow set.

How do I know what size? Well… you know….

Ian POV (WTF?)

I shook my head, pretty sure that my Ella would never wear these threads. She just wouldn't dig it.

I walked out of the store soon after seeing Fang buy some pink sweat pants (I haven't known Max for very long, but I'm pretty sure she would hate those) and Iggy gleefully picking out lacy panties and bras. Oh, that guy….

I walked out of the store, not sure where I wanted to go. I saw Fang waking into a DIY store- weird. I walked down the hall thing, looking for something Ella would totally like. I past all these stores, but nothing felt right. I finally came to the end of this part of the mall, and saw the one store that would be perfect for her.

I walked in, already seeing which present would be good for her.

Gazzy POV (WTF?)

I wandered around Victoria's Secret, mostly just looking. After all, no way is my sister gonna wear any of this!

I'm pretty sure I already know what Angel wants, I just have no idea where to get it. I tried asking Iggy, but he was too busy looking at underwear. Well, "looking"….

I followed Ian out the door, but went the opposite way as him down the mall. I swiveled my head, looking for a promising store.

I went all the way down the hall, so I went down a level, still looking. When I finally came across a store that could possibly hold what I needed, I almost missed it. It was really small, and in a corner. But, despite it's weird exterior, I just had a feeling that what I was getting Angel would be in there, and she was gonna love it!

**Wow… I almost never write in other POVs… I hope I did OK….  
><strong>

Max POV

By the time we all met at the fountain, everyone with a bag in hand (and Fang had one from Victoria's Secret. WTF? I mean… really?), it was after lunch. We all walked to McDonald's in the food court, trying to look in other people's bags.

We had a good time, even having a mini food fight. But I really wanted to see my present, so I hurried everyone home. Ian drove Ella, the rest of us flew.

I ran through the door, and threw myself on the best seat- the loveseat. I almost never got it, you know, being the leader and all, so it was nice to have dibs on it.

Everyone else filed in and sat around the room, talking a lot. I clapped my hands once everyone was settled. "OK, everyone- give your bag to your "Secret" Cupid, and we'll take turns opening them."

Everyone just handed it off to the person next to them- that's the way we sat. Fang smiled as he handed e my bag, and again- Victoria's Secret? When would I ever got here? The pinkness makes me want to barf!

I went first, 'cause, you know, I'm the leader. I opened up my bag, only to reveal the skinniest, tightest, pinkest pair of sweatpants I have ever seen. "Oh, uh… thanks, Fang." I said. Why would he ever think I would wear these?

Well, he would get his payback when he opened his gift!

When he did, his face was priceless. Now, to the un-Fang-practice eye, his facial expression didn't change. But I saw the slight downturn of the right side of his mouth, the widening of his eyes, the slight turn of the head. It was freaking hilarious!

"Thanks." he said, nodding.

I couldn't hold it any longer. "That's not your actual present!" I blurted, laughing. He raised an eyebrow at me. "Here." I handed him a flat, wrapped box. Eyeing me dubiously, he unwrapped it.

He pulled out a leather jacket, exactly his size, with wing slits in the back. It was almost the same one Ari had shredded that one day on the beach, so long ago.

He smiled, and I was instantly happier. "Wow- thanks Max." He tried it on, and boy did he look like a BAMF.

"I have a confession- that wasn't your real present either." he said quietly. I was inwardly relieved. He handed me a small, rectangular jewelry box, and I was instantly doubtful again. He knows I don't wear jewelry, I thought as I opened it.

But I would make an exception for this. It was a charm bracelet, with eight wings on it. One was big and brown with white spots- me, one was big and deep black- Fang, one was tawny brown- Nudge, one was white with spots of brown- Iggy, two were pure white- Gazzy and Angel, one was small and black- Lizzy, and one was small and brown with spots of white- Tyler. It was our whole family on my bracelet. I immediately put it on, and it felt right.

I leaned over and kissed him, in front of everybody. It was beautiful.

Nudge got Iggy an awesome pair of sunglasses, with all these special features built in. He loved them, but I couldn't help wonder when he would take it apart to examine the insides. Iggy got Nudge a bunch of bright, lacy lingerie sets. Nudge blushed, and smacked him on the shoulder, but kissed him and whispered something in his ear, which made him grin wider. I do not want to know.

Ian got Ella a big Native American dream catcher, which she quickly hung up in the car to take home with her. It was a blue fabric circle, with white and brown feathers and white seashells hanging off of it. It was very pretty. She got Ian an awesome guitar case, because his apparently was "a piece of crap". It was black, with flames licking at the place where the fret board would go.

Gazzy got Angel a scrapbook it, which she adored. It was a pink camouflage book, with tons and tons of stickers, glue, and cut outs to decorate it with. She already had pictures to put in it, she said. Angel got Gazzy the newest Halo video game, which he was ecstatic about. Of course, it was exactly what he wanted. Sometimes, life is easier with mind reading.

All in all, it was a perfect day.

**A/N: Me: Filler- blah, I know, I know, but this story is mainly supposed to be fluffy fluff!**

**Fang: It's boring! *whine whine whine* Hey… what'd you type there? Hey- I do not whine!**

**MooMoo: Yes you do.**

**Rawr: Like a motor boat.**

**Me: It's true, and my ears hate it. Fact: Yesterday, my toilet over flooded ('cause it's a piece of crap) and soaked the carpet in my room, so I can't live in my bedroom for a week :(**

**Fang: Sucks to be you.**

**Me: Yea, well that means you have to hide in Sister's closet now!**

**Fang: Crud.**

**Me: Yup. Haha! R&R please, review review review!**


	18. Ella's Pregnant!

**A/N: Me: Alright, another update!**

**Fang: Obviously. **

**Me: Ignore him- I usually do. Okay, I really want to get through a couple chapters of fluff and get to more drama stuffs. Don't kill me- after this chapter, there is only one more filler chapter before the drama happens again! Also-I think I will update La Belle Vie every other day, and I will post a one shot, or start another long term story, on the off days. What say you?**

**Fang: …Me?**

**MooMoo: No, stupid! **

**Rawr: The readers!**

**Fang: Isn't that breaking the fourth wall?**

**Me: Well… probably… but I don't really care! Fact: My mom recently listened to FANG on audio-book, AND SHE DOESN'T HATE DYLAN! OMGWTFBBQ? She says "there's nothing to hate." Well, how about the fact he convinced Fang to leave, he's trying to steal Max, he's too goody-goody, he won't leave Max alone, and HE'S JUSTIN BIEBER IN DISGUISE! AAAARRGHGIODITEPOIUIPOU!**

**Fnag: Are you done?**

**Me: *breathing hard* Yea… I guess so. Wow… I talked like Nudge- two huge paragraphs!**

March 7, 2014

Max POV

It was early morning, about 7:30. No one, not even Iggy, was awake. Frankly, I shouldn't even be awake. But… I'm always a sucker for Fang. He slept in my room last night, as usual. Not unusual, we had fun.….. *ahem* Anyway, he woke me up at this ungodly hour.

I was having the best dream about lying on a hammock on a beach, being served pina coladas by a shirtless Fang. All of a sudden, there was an earthquake on this island, and I fell out of my hammock. Cue the waking up.

I blinked a bunch of times, half asleep, and saw Fang a mere inch from my face, shaking me. "Warrgh!" I yelled, almost falling off the bed. Almost. "What the heck, Fang? What time is it?" I mumbled.

"7:30."

"What? Why? Huh?" I asked intelligently.

"Because I can." he smirked.

"Why you little-"

"And because I have something for you." he said quickly.

"Oh?" Now _that_ piqued my interest. "What is i-" I was interrupted by him, again, but by his lips. Yea- I think I like this present.

This kiss wasn't like our usual ones- fast and hungry. This was more gentle, and sweet. I liked it. I liked it a lot. I liked it so much, apparently, I whined a bit when he pulled away. He chuckled.

"Fang!" I whined some more.

"What?" he mocked me.

"Was that it?"

He gasped, feigning hurt. "Why, Max! You're saying my kisses aren't enough for you?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "You know what I mean! Is that why you woke me up at 7:30?"

"Yup." he said, popping the 'p'.

I narrowed my eyes. "So… you're telling me that you interrupted my beauty sleep, and a very lovely dream, to give me a little kiss?"

"Mmm-hmm." he said, leaning back and closing his eyes.

I was halfway annoyed, half way giddy- but I went with my annoyed side, because that was easier to deal with. So I picked up my pillow, and whacked him good and hard full in the face.

The look on his face was priceless- I was the only one (besides our kids) who saw his face without his mask on. So I got to see a rare sight- Fang, mouth slightly open, eyebrows scrunched up, nose wrinkled, blinking, trying to figure out what had happened.

I dropped my pillow and rolled around on the bed, laughing.

He took the opportunity, that sneaky little censored-word, to whack me with _his _pillow. I stopped laughing, and glared at him- he was back to his expressionless smirk. I picked up my pillow, and said "This means war." I lunged over the pile of blankets towards him, and stabbed the pillow into his stomach. While I was scrambling to get back up, he brought his pillow down onto my head.

I fell back down, and he jumped on my back, pinning down my arms with his knees and my legs with his lower legs. I reached backwards with my arms, trying to hit him, but he pinned those down too. Unfortunately, he seemed to forget about our extra appendages. I let myself go limp, and started breathing hard. I could feel him loosen up **(A/N: Fang: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID! Haha! Me: *facepalm*)**, and that's when I made my move.

I arched my back and flung open my wings, successfully making him shoot backwards off the bed. I jumped up, and leaped off the bed, smashing the pillow over _his_ head. He actually looked kind of dazed for a second, before standing up and walking towards me.

He dropped his pillow on the way, making me suspicious of his intentions. But, he waltzed right up to me, and just kissed me. I dropped my pillow, forgetting the fight. Once again, my brain went into mush.

Of course, Ella chose that moment to walk unannounced into our house, arms full of groceries, and come visit me in my room.

"You know, I didn't come here to see an R-rated movie." she said, standing in the doorway with a raised eyebrow.

Nudge POV

I sighed, leaning back into Iggy's chest. I was wearing one of the new lingerie sets he got me underneath a plain, cotton with t-shirt. He was wearing boxers. I saw on the clokc that it was 7:40.

"I love you." he whispered in my ear. I shivered.

"I love you too."

He stroked my face, feeling the outline and the color. "I think you've gotten tanner."

I giggled. "It's March, when would I have time to get tanner?"

He shrugged, smiling cynically. It's his default look- and I thought it was cute. "You know, Ella called and told me a secret yesterday."

He rasied an eyebrow. "Oh, really?"

"Mm-hmm. And I've just about died not telling anyone, especially Max." I complained.

He waited for me to tell him. "No, Iggy-kins, I can't tell you either!"

He sighed dramatically. "The suspense is killing me!" he whisper shouted.

I put my lips over his mouth. One, because he shouldn't wake anyone else up. Two, well, because I wanted to.

Iggy's hands crept up my shirt. Now, this wasn't as perverted as you think it is. Since he has no eyesight, it was his way of seeing my body.

Then, of course, Ella walked into my room with Max and Fang in tow. "Great, two R-rated movies in a row!" she said, throwing her hands up and walking away.

_**OKAY- NEW THING- QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER- FAVORITE COLOR?**_

Max POV

I huffed in annoyance at Ella. She came and woke everyone up, at 8 am on a Sunday, and gathered us all in the kitchen. Worse, she wouldn't let Iggy cook breakfast yet.

"OK, Ella, everyone is here- even Total."

"Hey!"

"Now what did you want to tell us?" I finished, ignoring Total.

Ella shifted on her feet. "Um… Ian-and-I-are-gonna-have-a-baby!" she said in a rush. Well, no subtlety from her!

"What are you gonna tell mom? Oh, she's gonna be mad!" I said the first thing that pooped into my head. What? After my experience, I was worried for her. Ian wasn't as tough as Fang, not even close.  
>"Actually, I already told her. Unlike <em>someone<em>!" Ella said pointedly. "Secondly, since I'm _already married_, she was ecstatic to have another grandchild."

OK, enough pointing fingers, Ella.

"Well, then, congratulations!" I said, getting up to hug her.

"Cool!" Gazzy.

"Sweet." Iggy.

"I'm happy for you Ella." Angel.

"Congrats." Fang.

"Hear, hear!" Total- dweeb.

"OMG another baby! Oh, we have to go shopping right away! Wait, we don't know if it's a boy or as girl! Wait- I think I said the same thing about Tyler and Lizzy, only then-" Do I even have to say it?

"Welcome to h-e-double-hockey sticks, Ella." I warned. Her smile faltered a bit.

**A/N: Me: There ya go, some Fax for ya at the beginning. And I just had to add some Niggy, 'cause I feel like they aren't getting much face time. And… more babies.**

**Fang: This story really has no underlying plot, does it?**

**Me: Aah… no. But, it's just a (hopefully) cute and funny story with some little 'twists', if you could call them that. But only one more chapter until some more drama.**

**Fang: It's ok, B, I love your story!**

**Fang: Oh my GOD! I DID NOT say that! What is your problem?**

**Me: *cackles evilly* Would you like the shorter list of problems I don't have? Fact: This story has more reviews, words, chapters, hits, and alerts than Various Phobias! **

**MooMoo: Woohoo!**

**Rawr: All that's left is the favorites.**

**Me: And I think we can do it. Remember, guys- five reviews a chapter, please! Byee!**

**Fang: Don't I get a final word? **

**Me: There-you-just-did-bye!**


	19. Half way There

**A/N: Me: Hello, everybody! I have some really exciting news :D**

**Fang: This story now has a beta.**

**Me: … Why did you do that?**

**Fang: What?**

**Me: I was all ready to unveil it… and you ruined it :(**

**Fnag: *shrug* Your fault for kidnapping me.**

**Me: But-you-I- Dang it, he has a point. Anyway… her name is Miss Mila, and she will be beta-ing this story, probably starting next chapter, and hopefully future stories. Fact: My favorite color is aqua blue, for last chapter's "Chapter Question".**

**MooMoo: Just to warn you, this chapter is pretty short. **

**Rawr: B's pretty busy from now for the next few weeks.**

**Me: So sorry if it takes a while to update :/**

July 21, 2014

Max POV

I groaned as Ella called my name yet again. Was I this annoying half way through being pregnant? I lifted myself off of the incredibly comfy couch, where I had been sitting all of _6 minutes_, to walk upstairs to the guest bedroom, which was where Ella was sleeping. It used to be Fang's bedroom, but we made it into the guest room after he moved into my room. The twins got the old guest bedroom.

"Yes, Ella?" I asked, trying not to let my exasperation leak into my voice.

"Um… could you change the batteries in the remote? Ian is asleep, and I don't want to ask him for anything else." she said quietly. I inwardly sighed- first, Ian was at work all day. He didn't have a CSM giving him monthly pay. Oh well. Then, when he's actually home to take care of his 4 and a half months pregnant wife, he falls asleep. Just my luck.

Ella was staying at our house for a simple reason- my mom had to go to some big vet conference in New York for a week. A _week_. So we inherited a pregnant, hormonal young adult and her husband. Joy. She had been mainly staying in her room, coming down into the living room to talk to us only occasionally. She watched TV, ate, read, or went on the computer all day. I would go completely nuts!

I took the remote from her hand, and started to walk away. "Oh, and Max?" I turned back around. "Could you please get me more iced tea?" she asked sweetly, holding out a half empty glass.

I nodded, and took that too. I actually made it to the door before "One last thing? Um… could you bring me my hairbrush from the bathroom?"

I gritted my teeth. "Can't you get _that_ by yourself?" I mean, the bathroom is right down the hall!

"Please?" she begged, pulling a pretty good pair of Bambi eyes on me. Not as good as Nudge, or even Angel, but pretty darn close.

"Oh, alright!" I said, walking to the bathroom and tossing the hairbrush onto the end of the bed. I stomped down the steps towards the kitchen. Boy, this is gonna be a long four more days.

_**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER- **_**favorite food? Mine is probably french bread.**

Fang POV

I actually sighed in relief once I had gotten out of the house and into the air. I _really_ needed it- heck, we all did- after dealing with a pregnant, hormonal, human in our house. Geez, and I thought Max was bad. Her sister is even worse!

I shook my head to free myself of the depressing thoughts, and to concentrate on the joy of flying. Seriously, it's the best thing I have ever done. Well… except Max.

Oh, me and my pervertedness. Must be Iggy rubbing off on me.

I was just looking down, watching a rare day-time owl (I don't know what it's name is) sit on a tree. So that's probably why I didn't notice the ten flying Erasers until it was too late, and I got jabbed in the neck with a hypo needle.

Max POV

I was pacing around Ella's room, trying not to worry. Fang said he was going out for some fresh air (lucky b*****d) an hour ago. His fresh air flights never last this long. And believe me, he takes a lot of them.

"Mommy? Where's Daddy? I want to play a game with him!" Lizzy asked, walking into the room.

I forced a smile. "He's just out flying, honey. He'll play with you when he gets back."

"Ok!" she said, already running off, her long black hair and wings- Fang's hair and wings- streaming out behind her.

"OK, that's it- I'm going out looking for him!" I said decisively.

"Maybe you're just over reacting, Max." Ella said soothingly from her bed.

My tension made me snap. "There is no such thing as over reacting in my world, Ella! You should know that by now!" I yelled, waking up Ian from his nap.

"Oh, hey Max." he mumbled.

"Bye." I said, walking out the door. Ian could take care of her now. I would throw myself out the window, but that might concern Ian- sadly, he doesn't know yet. "Angel, come with me!" I yelled. She read my mind, and jumped up, leaving her Barbies half-massacred.

We flew out the door up into the sky. I was so worried, I couldn't even enjoy flying right now. "See if you can hear his thoughts." I called over my shoulder to Angel. She nodded, already concentrating hard. Too bad I couldn't go into super speed mode.

We flew slowly in big circles for about 15 minutes before Angel cried, "Down there!" I hurdled down towards where she was pointing. As I got within a couple hundred feet, I could see him- crumpled on the ground, not moving. Oh, God.

Fang POV

I came to in a giant, metal storage area. It seemed pretty familiar.

"Hello again… "Fang"." a deep voice called over. I whipped my head around, trying to ignore the fog of dizziness. I found myself face to face with Dr. Mathias. Great- this psychopath again. I just glared.

"I'm willing to give you another chance to join our cause." Well, this guy doesn't beat around the bush, does he? I kept up my glare.

"No? Alright then, I'm sorry to say that I'm going to have to do something very drastic to one of your flock mates." This sparked worry in me, and I hoped he didn't see it. He chuckled. _Dang it!_

"Dismissed." he intoned, waving a hand. I felt another needle jabbed into my neck, and felt free fall as I swam into unconsciousness.

The next thing I knew, I was staring up at two angels, wings out, backlit by sunlight. I smiled dopily. "Wow, I'm in heaven. Hi, pretty angels!"

One of the angels poke with a familiar voice. "Wow, he's out of it."

The other angel spoke with an even more familiar voice. "Yup- he looks like he fell hard and far." The angels picked me up, and started to fly away. I don't know where, only I knew I was talking to them about something on the way.

**Thanks to Random-maximum-ride-fan for giving me 100 reviews! :D **

Max POV

A few hours later, Sleeping Beauty awoke from his slumber. Literally- it sounded like a Lumberjack Conference in there, with all the sawing! I just hoped he wasn't too badly hurt- my mom wasn't here! Iggy had healed all of his cuts and scrapes, and his sprained ankle, but there wasn't much more he could do if there was anything else.

"Hey." I whispered.

"Hey." he said hoarsely back.

"What happened?" I asked, stroking his hair. He closed his eyes as if to remember.

"Um… I was flying. Watching an owl. Erasers got me. Dr. Mathias. He asked for us to join again. I refused. He knocked me out. I fell. I woke up to… angels?" he explained.

I giggled. "Yea, I remember. _Angel_ and _I_ carried you back here. You were mumbling crazy stuff."

He groaned. "Like what?"

"Let's see… 'MooMoo, stop biting Rawr.' 'This soap tastes terrible.' 'I hate being trapped here.' All kinds of crazy stuff." I cleared my throat to get rid of the laughter. "Is that all Dr. Mathias said?"

Fang frowned, and worry sparked in his eyes. "He said he was gonna do something bad to a member of the flock."

**A/N: Me: Dun dun dun! Cliffhanger! Otherwise… a terrible chapter, I know. Feel free to not review.**

**Fang: Why do I always get hurt?**

**MooMoo: Because.**

**Rawr: You're the most annoying.**

**Me: Guys, that's not it! It's because… because… well, maybe that's it.**

**Fang: Hey!**

**Me: Kidding, kidding! But, don't worry- a different flock member gets hurt/sick/maimed/killed in the next chapter!**

**Fang: Wait… all of those?**

**Me: Nah- just one, But I can't give it away, now can I? Fact: The A/C in my house just started working yesterday for the first time since the beginning of June!**

**Fang: It is amazingly cool in here now!**

**Me: Yea! Anyway… thanks again for 100 reviews. You don't have to review this terrible chapter though. Byee- next time will be better because of a beta reader.**


	20. Sickness

**A/N: Me: Hey hey hey, everybody! So… this chapter has some drama in it! YAY!**

**Fang: About darn time.**

**Me: You, **_**madam**_**, are really pissing me off lately.**

**Fang: Aw, is it that time of- hey wait a minute- 'madam'?**

**Me: You heard me right!**

**Fang: I'm not a girl!**

**MooMoo: The way you whine sometimes doesn't back that up.**

**Rawr: Ooh, burn!**

**Me: *fist pump* Score one (more like a **_**bajillion**_**) for the home team! Fact: I just got back from watching Harry Potter 7 part 2. IT WAS FREAKING AWESOME! Sister and I had a great time watching it… and making fun of the many points in this film where males looked about 2 seconds away from kissing XD**

**Fang: Real mature, B.**

**Me: Why… is that some Figgy defense I hear in there, Fang?**

**Fang: Wh-wha-why-I-you-but-**

November 1, 2014; 9:45 am

Max POV

It had been only a couple weeks since Fang had been kidnapped. I was scared stiff, and I could tell Fang was worried, too. We didn't tell the other kids, though. Well, at least not the part about a flock member getting hurt. We couldn't let them get scared about it.

It was morning, and we were all seated around the kitchen table, awaiting Iggy's awesome cooking. When he finally emerged from the kitchen holding a huge tray of bacon and waffles, I was pretty sure I was drooling all over the table.

Iggy set the tray down, only after taking a plateful for himself, in the middle of the table. All of us bird kids, plus a dog, lunged towards the tray and grabbed handfuls of food. Iggy chuckled, already finishing his first, of five, Belgian waffle. I ignored him and shoved the warm food in my mouth, savoring it. It really was amazing, how well Iggy could cook.

I didn't even notice it until I had finished my first plate of food. I sat back, filled up for now. Everyone was close to finishing… except Iggy. He was frowning and picking at his uneaten mound of bacon and three waffles. "What's up, Ig?" I asked nonchalantly.

"I dunno. I feel… pukey. Sort of. I don't think I'm gonna eat anymore," he muttered. I raised my eyebrows at Fang, and he gave me a 'look' back. We were thinking the same thing- we don't get sick. Ever. Some weird thing to do with our genetics. So when one of us was feeling bad, it meant… I didn't know. None of us have ever felt sick before.

"Well, okay- how about you go lay down or something," I advised, patting his arm.

"Yeah," he said distractedly. Oh boy, no sarcastic comment either? I held back Gazzy as he reached for Iggy's plate. "I don't want you to get whatever he has." Gazzy, looking worried for his friend, nodded and tossed the food in the trash.

12:15 pm

I walked upstairs to visit Iggy- he hadn't come down or made a sound since he left after breakfast. And… I wanted a sammich.

I rapped my knuckles on his door. "Hey, Iggy- you alive in there?" I called. I heard a low moan in response, so I quickly pushed the door open.

I saw Iggy huddled underneath his blankets, shivering. From what I could see of him, he was pale…er and sweaty. This is _not_ looking good. "Hey, Ig- how's it going?" I asked, sitting on the edge of his bed. I put a hand to his forehead- and quickly pulled it away. He was _burning_ up!

"Not good," he groaned. "My head is pounding, I'm freezing my a-butt off, my joints ache, and I still feel like I'm going to puke." Great. I was starting to think the 'doctor' had something to do with this. _Hold up. This looks like the everyday flu. No need to get ahead of yourself, Maxie._

_**But you know it's something more, Max.**_

_What the f- where have you been?_

_**You and I both know that there's something more going on with Iggy.**_

_No dip, Sherlock. But seriously… where?_ Of course it didn't answer. Of course. Well, I guess we had better take care of Iggy…. "I'll go get some soup for you, Iggy."

"I want to feel better, not die," he cracked weakly.

"Oh, ha ha. Fine- I'll get Fang to make it." Thank God he was at least making some sort of comeback now.

3:00 pm

I sat in a chair next to Iggy's bed. He didn't hold down the soup Fang made. Or the iced tea with it. Or the crackers. Or even _water_. Whatever this was, it was bad.

Fang walked in silently. "Hey." Man of many words, he is. Sound like Yoda, I do. God- I'm already going insane. I nodded to him.

"How's he doing?"

"He's not holding down anything, he has a raging temperature, and he says he has a 'Max-sized headache'," I recited.

Fang nodded. "Well, at least he's sleeping now."

"Or passed out," I snorted. He looked pretty bad earlier.

6:45 pm

I was sitting in the kitchen, finishing off the last Pizza Hut pizza. Since Iggy was out of action, we ordered in dinner. I was tilting back in my chair when I heard a shout. "Max? Max! MAX, MAX, MAX!" I heard Iggy yell from upstairs. I jumped- this was the first he had talked in over 6 hours. I ran up the stairs, him still screaming my name. I burst into the room. "What happened, Iggy?"

"I can't feel my legs. I can't feel them!" he cried, thrashing his arms around. I gulped- this was so, so bad.

"Are you sure? I mean…" I trailed off. "Okay, relax Iggy. Relax." When his breathing evened out I said, "Now wiggle your toes." No movement. "Wiggle 'em."

"I am."

"Oh, God!" I choked out. Iggy couldn't feel or move his legs. His legs. Oh, God.

"I'm… I'm scared, Max," he whispered.

I didn't have any words of comfort or wisdom, so I just nodded shakily and hugged him. I stepped back, and he was already sleeping. I left the room, trying not to throw up myself.

11:00 pm

"MAX! MAX HELP! MAX!" Iggy screamed from his room. I was on the couch, watching a movie after I had tucked in the younger kids. I dropped the TV remote in my hand and I bolted upstairs, too terrified to tell Fang to go away and stop talking to me. Now, I was pretty terrified.

I burst through the door to see him just laying still, shouting my name.

"Iggy- what's wrong?" I asked breathlessly.

"My arms- my arms- I can't feel them either! Are my arms still there? My arms!" he panicked. I noticed that not even his head was moving. I just stood there, frozen. This can't be happening. This can't! I noticed Fang walk over to Iggy and poke him.

"Max? Fang? Are you still there?" he said as Fang poked him harder. _Like he couldn't even feel it._

I gasped and held back a sob. Oh my God- Iggy couldn't move. He was sick, and now he's paralyzed! Oh my God what are we gonna do? Fang looked at me, dark eyes flashing with fear. He mouthed 'Dr. Mathias'. I could only nod.

I glanced at Iggy, and teared up when I saw he was passed out already. What was happening to him?

**A/N: Me: I know, kind of short, but it gets some drama started.**

**Fang: I-he-we-not-you-but-**

**MooMoo: OH MY GOD!**

**Rawr: WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!**

**Me: *sigh* He'll take a while to get over this. Ever since I tricked him into reading a lemon Figgy fic….**

**Fang: Fig-I-Iggy-not-don't-no**

**Me: Excuse his ramblings, he's delirious. Fact: I live **_**somewhere**_** on the East Coast. Not telling you anymore than that :) Don't' want no creepers stalking me and my house! R&R please! Byee!**

**Fang: Why-what-how-not-we-you**


	21. Baby boy!

**A/N: Me: Ugh… finally my three day pom camp (dancing for eight hours straight) is over. My feet are killing me.**

**Fang: *le smug* Did you have fun?**

**Me: *glare* Shut up Fang. At least I'm not addicted to chloroform!**

**Fang: I-I am not!**

**MooMoo: Yea you are.**

**Rawr: You're always passed out everywhere.**

**Me: Yea! The thing is… Fang got really good at dodging weasels. :P So… we started using chloroform to knock him out now. And… he kinda got addicted. So now he's always knocking himself out, and I have to drag his sorry butt back into my closet so my family doesn't see him.**

**Fang: I am not addicted!**

**Me: The first step is admitting you have a problem! *whisper* He doesn't know it yet, but he's going to rehab. So you might not see him for a few chapters. XD *ahem* Fact: I am now a beta (I think) for 'DeathsUniqueEqual'. He has a story called Jacob's Decision. Check it out- it's really original.**

**Fang: Hey- what did you whisper?**

**Me: Nothing! To Mrs Obsession- I didn't write about Dr. Martinez because she wasn't in that chapter at all. And… I completely dropped the ball on the kids. I'm going to say… Max didn't talk to them so they didn't get worried. I am a terrible writer, forgetting the cutest kids ever :P Sorry.**

December 27, 2014

Max POV

I was sitting by Iggy's bedside, as per usual. He's gotten really bad now. He can't feel or move most of his body, and he can't keep any food or drink down. I'm really scared for him. He's already really thin these days- you can see his ribs, and his joints stick out like weapons. He's going to get even more sick by the fact that he can't eat or drink anything. And it's not like we can take him to the hospital to get an IV drip- the doctors would poke and prod until Iggy was dead.

The Flock and I had been taking turns sitting by him, talking to him or just watching him sleep. We usually let Nudge take a shift when he was awake- no sense in the chatterbox going to waste. Fang usually went when Iggy was asleep- no sense it letting The Living Shadow go to waste! Lizzy and Tyler just knew that he was sick. We couldn't let them knowhow sick their Uncle Iggy was.

One of the worst parts was, though, that Iggy. Wasn't. Cooking. We lived on takeout and McDonald's for a couple weeks, and then my mom came to the rescue. She, plus Ella and Ian, basically live with us for now. Which is good and bad. Good, because I love them and I get free chocolate chip cookies all day. Bad… because the hormonal human is back in our guest room.

Ella is due any day now, Mom says. Thank God- Ella was huge, and her hormones were ten times as big. Thank the Lord Ian is on his Christmas work holidays, so he can deal with Ella.

Christmas was kind of a bummer this year, though. Without Iggy. the tree decorations looked lame. He wasn't there to tease Fang and I about our… many… mistletoe kisses. Gazzy didn't have his partner in crime for our annual Christmas fireworks. Overall, the mood was entirely dampened by the fact that Iggy wasn't there.

I listened to Lizzy and Tyler in the next room over, playing with their new My Little Pony set and Matchbox Cars set, respectively. My mom had gone overboard on her first grandkids, as usual every holiday and every-chance-she-gets-a-chance. The six of us Flock had done the usual gifts for each other, while Ian and Ella also went overboard as their first "married Christmas". Geez- I lived in an over-boarders family.

I was jolted out of my thoughts when Fang quietly knocked on the door and poked his head in. "Hey." Would it ever kill him to even just say a full 'Hello'?

"Hi." I said back. He came into the room and stood behind me, rubbing my back between my wings, just the way I like it. I felt some, not even close to all, of the tension leave my body. I sighed and leaned back into his chest and gave him a semi-awkward backwards hug type thing.

He grinned and pulled me over, knocking the chair to the ground. He swung me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and carried me out of the room. Gazzy waved at me, grinning cheekily, before going to sit with the still-asleep Iggy. Little bugger. I swung at Fang's back, punching and kicking, also laughing my head off. He didn't stop until he had thrown me on our bed, and started kissing me.

I have to admit, this was pretty nice. But… "So… what brought… this on?" I said between lip attacks. And with Fang, they were attacks. He doesn't get his name from a weak mouth.

He gave me a smile- a real, full, blown out smile. Wow, his teeth are white…. Wow, I get distracted easily. "Why can't I? You are my wife, after all."

I laughed breathlessly as he attacked my collarbone, making it hard to concentrate. "I just… just meant that… that… under the… circumstances…."

He paused. "I think that you need to get away from all the stress. What with Iggy, Ella, two toddlers with super powers… and an amazingly awesome husband." The huge grin was back.

I snorted. "I agree with everything… except the last thing, of course." I teased. He growled good naturedly, and kissed me with more passion. Well, there goes _that_ train of thought….

We continued kissing like that for a few minutes, with a fair bit of tongue wrestling. He ended up on top of me, kissing my neck, collarbone, jaw- I hummed in pleasure. I fisted his needs-a-cut-soon hair, pulling his mouth back to mine.

I'm not sure how long we were there, except that I was enjoying every minute of it. What Fang said was true, actually- I needed to escape from my life for a bit, and let's just say that a 'hungry' Fang is a good distraction. We ended up doing a lot more than passionate kissing, but I don't want to scar any little kids.

Of course, every good thing must come to an end. Nudge burst in through the door, not bothering to knock. "Max Max Max Dr. M told me to tell you that Ella said that-" She stopped, taking in the scene before her- Fang on top of me on the bed, our clothes and hair very rumpled, the sheets completely twisted up, my glowing red face, and Fang's signature smirk. "Oh- sorry about that, you two. I'll leave you guys to get decent." she giggled, and my face grew even more scarlet. "But… the baby's coming!" she yelled, throwing her arms up and running out. She's awful chipper, considering her boyfriend is in a near death state. Well, that's Nudge for ya.

I jumped off the bed, inwardly chuckling at the brief flash of annoyance in Fang's eyes. I ran down the steps, fixing my clothes and hair (as best as I could) as I went. I felt more than heard Fang following me. Stalker.

I rushed into the living room to see Lizzy and Tyler dancing in a circle around Ella, who was being supported by Ian. They were not helping Ella's condition in anyway. I heard my mom dash out the front door, and gun her car's engine. I admired Ian- he was handling this much better than Fang did.

In the chaos that followed, Fang decided to stay with Iggy, since we couldn't leave him here, and we sure as blank couldn't take him with us. He assured me that it was fine, and that "his poor virgin ears already heard enough cussing and yelling from me". I smacked him upside the head for that.

Lizzy and Tyler opted to ride in the car with the humans (geez, that sounds so racist or something) to the hospital. The rest of the flock- which, now that I think about it were only Gazzy, Nudge, and Angel- and I took the opportunity to get in some good old flying time.

Once at the hospital, it was much the same as Lizzy and Tyler's birth. Many running nurses and doctors, much yelling and cursing from Ella (though she cussed out Ian, the baby, her deadbeat-dad-who-she-never-met-but-still-has-to-call, me (the nerve!) and our mom. Lovely. Let's just say the twins didn't stay in there for very long), and much crying over and from the baby.

But the look in Ian and Ella's face when the doctor handed them their perfectly human baby was priceless. There was awe, wonder, happiness, relief, gratefulness, and shining, blinding love. The baby was a boy, which we already knew, but Ella had yet to pick a name yet. But she decided on a name once she held him. "Jack." she declared, looking to Ian for confirmation. He beamed and nodded. "He feels like a Jack."

Jack was perfectly healthy, as well as 100% human. He had Ella's dark brown, curly hair and Ian's beautiful deep blue eyes. I noticed, without one ounce of jealousy, (OK… lies… but only a little bit) that Jack didn't look as bad as my kids when they first came out.

I snuggled with Lizzy and Tyler **(A/N: Me: Whoops- almost said Fang, but he's at home with Iggy :/ QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER- favorite animal?)** at the sheer happiness of the moment. For a few minutes, the worries over Iggy and the stress of everyday life could be forgotten.

**A/N: Me: How cheesy. And, there's some Fax for you perverted reviewers! JK! But seriously… I stink at writing romance stuff. I think I'm still to innocent to write heavy stuff. *bats eyelashes***

**Fang: *snort* Innocent. Yea, right. And I'm a pretty pretty princess.**

**MooMoo: Good for you Fang! **

**Rawr: You finally embraced your true self!**

**Me: Haha, pwned! Fact: My pom camp was held by UDA, and we learned Jazz, Hip Hop (which I am beast at), and 'pom' routines. Plus the National Dance Day Routine to Party Rock Anthem (best song ever!)**

**Intervention Agents: Fang Ride?**

**Fang: Uh…**

**IA: This is an intervention. We're taking you to rehab to get some help with your problem.**

**Fang: What pr-? B, you are going to die!**

**Me: You need help, Fnag! Take him away, boys!**

**IA: *drag Fang away***

**Me: Yea, so, Fang will be back in a few chapters, I'm sure. Anyway, in the meantime, R&R guys!**


	22. Dying?

**A/N: Me: Hello everybody! This will be pretty short, since stupid Fang is in rehab.**

**MooMoo: Yea, we have no one to annoy!**

**Rawr: We're kind of bored!**

**Me: Just no bombs again, ok?**

**Both: *sigh* Okay….**

**Me: Good! *nod* Fact: I am going to my friend's house for dinner tonight! STEAK! Yummy!**

**MooMoo: Can we come?**

**Rawr: Please!**

**Me: Um... no. Sorry. You can't just invite yourself to other people's houses!**

December 31, 2014 (Sister's birthday!)

Max POV

Here we are- New Year's Eve, watching the party in New York on the flat screen TV, eating hot and fresh popcorn. For us mutants, life doesn't usually get any better than this. Unless, of course, one of our family members isn't dying.

Nudge was a wreck these days. She and Iggy were as close as Fang and I, which was pretty close. She was with him almost all the time, only letting someone else watch him when she collapsed from lack of sleep. She barely talked, ate the bare minimum amount of food, and almost never left Iggy's side. I was worried about her. I mean… what if Iggy… didn't get better? The one time I tried to talk to her about it, she went ballistic on me. I shuddered, reliving it.

_Flashback_

_I softly knocked on Nudge's door, half expecting her to be asleep. When she wasn't with Iggy for twelve hours at a time, she was in her room sleeping. So I was surprised when she called hoarsely, "Come in."_

_I walked in, shutting the door behind me. "Nudge, I need to talk to you." She gave no motion that said she'd heard me. She just sat on her bed, staring at the wall above her and Angel's desk. Her feathers were limp and dirty, her hair was a mess compared to the pristine condition she always kept it in, her clothes were old and baggy, and her eyes were empty and lifeless. "Nudge. You need to start… getting back into the routine of normal life. You know… just in case Iggy… doesn't… pull through."_

_Nudge winced, visibly flinching away from my blunt words. "Nudge- listen to me! You need to start… I don't know… being _Nudge_ again. Iggy wouldn't want this. He loved you, and now you're just a mess. He would want you to move on!" I put my hand on her shoulder as I spoke, trying to soften my harsh words._

_Nudge shoved my hand off, an angry spark igniting in her blank eyes. "Why are you talking about him like he's already dead?" she hissed, eyes sparking for the first time in weeks. With her teeth bared, eyes wild, and general unkempt condition, she looked like she had when we first found her in the school. _

_We had tried to breakout, back when it was just Fang, Iggy, and I- we were seven. We'd passed by her room where she was being forced to run while being shocked with a cattle prod- she was just four. We'd all done it before. When we'd tried to help her, she'd gone feral. She attacked _us_, and she looked just as wild as she did now._

_I shook my head, leaving the memory. "He's not, but we need to be… realistic about this. Iggy… he's not okay. He's not even close to okay. And we all know that. Even he does, when he's not delirious or sleeping." Which is almost never. "But what I'm trying to say is that you need to pull yourself together, and just… be ready. For… you know…."_

_She jack-knifed to a sitting position, giving me a glare almost as scary as mine. Whoa. Her wings bristled, and her teeth were fully bared now. Her eyes and hair were wild, and she looked very frightening, truthfully. "Shut up max. Just. Shut. UP!" she yelled. She tore at her hair. "I know that Iggy is sick, and really bad, but I can't do that! I need to think he'll pull through and be okay! You don't know what it's like! Fang has never been this bad, even after Ari! Iggy's too sick to even move to the hospital now! You don't know what it's like! So don't come in here and start talking to me like you know what's best for me!" She stopped pacing, and stood in place, shooting virtual lasers through my stomach. "Get out."_

_I nodded, a huge lump in my throat. She was right- I didn't know what it was like. Fang was down for a few days, Iggy's been this way for a month. So I just got up shakily and left, to go sit by Iggy._

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER- favorite drink? Cranberry juice is da bomb!**

"5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!" Lizzy, Tyler, and Angel screamed. Lizzy and Tyler didn't understand what was going on, even if they were smart for three year olds. And Angel was just trying to have some fun. I couldn't blame her- she was still only 12, and it had been pretty doom and gloom around here. Ella, Ian, Fang, my mom, Gazzy, and I were all too upset with Iggy's condition to be cheerful at all.

Nudge was upstairs with Iggy, as usual. I sighed, wishing our family could just be in one piece again. Fang seemed to read my thoughts, and started rubbing between my wings. I was just starting to get drowsy when we heard a piercing scream- Nudge- coming from upstairs.

Eight people- Ian went to go calm down a crying Jack- thundered upstairs to see what had happened. Nudge was on the floor, sobbing into her arms. Her whole body was shaking, and Ella immediately went to go console her- Ella was Nudge's best friend outside of the flock.

I went to go inspect Iggy, fearing the worst. I felt for a pulse in his throat- and sighed in relief when I felt one. Faint, but steady. He was breathing, he wasn't vomiting, he wasn't delirious, and he wasn't having a seizure. He could've been plain sleeping if he hadn't been so sick.

"Nudge, what happened?" I asked, turning to her. She continued sobbing and hiccupping, and Ella looked worried as she stroked Nudge's frizzy curls. "Why did you scream?" I prodded, taking a couple steps towards her.

Nudge took a deep breath. "I wa-as *hiccup* wiping off hi-is face a-a-and neck, cause h-e-he-e had be-en h-h-ha-h-aving a nightmare or somethi-ing *hiccup* and he wa-as sweating, and then- then I- then I saw- I saw-" She burst into tears again. Ella hugged her close, rocking her and murmuring soft words.

I stiffly turned around, a horribly and terrifying suspicion already in my head, and walked slowly back to Iggy, Fang following close behind me. I gently turned Iggy's head sideways, and lifted up his overlong strawberry blonde hair in the back. I gasped when I saw the back of his neck had a new addition- three bold and black numbers. An expiration date- 1/15/15. Iggy had two weeks.

I dropped Iggy's hair and head as if they were white hot, and staggered back into Fang's chest. He was the only other one to see it, and his breathing was ragged as he hugged me tightly and stroked my hair. Tears rolled down my cheeks even before I knew I was crying. Poor Iggy- first he was blind, then he was on the run for his whole life, and when we finally settle down and he gets serious with Nudge… he dies.

"What? What is it?" Gazzy yelled, panicking. Oh God- Iggy was Gazzy's idol. He worshipped the ground Iggy stood on. But I couldn't lie to him- not about this. I choked slightly as I whispered. "His expiration date." The blood drained out of Gazzy's face, and his blue eyes filled with tears. "Nooooooo!" he wailed, rushing forward to hug Iggy. His little shoulders shook as he clutched onto his partner in crime. Tyler, Lizzy, Mom, Angel, and Ella all were crying, unable to fathom Iggy- the carefree, happy-go-lucky pyromaniac- dying.

I turned away from Iggy, seemingly sleeping peacefully, and buried my head in Fang's chest. I was sobbing almost as hard as Nudge. Iggy was my little brother- I had known him his entire life, ad now… he was going to be gone.

I felt two, single wet drops on the top of my head, where my own tears wouldn't reach. Startled, I moved only my eyes slowly upward. Fang, with his eyes closed and head laying on mine, was silently crying over his best friend.

**A/N: Me: Oh my God, I felt like crying at the end of this! Gah, sad stuff :*( I don't know, I think it was pretty well written for a humor fanatic like myself.**

**MooMoo: *sob* It was beautiful!**

**Rawr: Magical! *cries***

**Me: *sniff* I know. Anyway! Fang is in rehab… still. He'll be back around… chapter 24 probably. So… by next Tuesday. Why the date? Fact: I'M GOING TO SOUTH CAROLINA WITH MY BEST FRIEND SINCE PRESCHOOL NEXT WEDNESDAY! WOOOHOOOO! I am SO FRICKING EXCITED! I'll be gone for a week, so… Sister will be starting a story. I know she's not as good as me (tee hee) but it will have to do until the following Wednesday.**

**MooMoo: R and…**

**Rawr: R please!**


	23. Sight!

**A/N: Me: So… this is the third update in a row, every day. Am I on a roll, you ask? Well… no. I actually want to give you guys lots of updates since I'll be gone for a week.**

**MooMoo: So, it's bittersweet for you guys.**

**Rawr: Updates everyday, but then no updates for a week.**

**Me: But don't worry, Fang will come back for tomorrow's update :) But I tried to phone him… and he wouldn't talk to me :( Oh well. Anyhoe, (LOL anyone else watch RWJ '=3'? No? Alrighty then) Fact: On Saturday, Sister kneed me in the face and my nose still is swollen, bruised, and hurts like a mo-fo.**

**MooMoo: So, unfortunately, this is the last "actiony/dram-y" chapter for now.**

**Rawr: But we'll see what happens to Iggy!**

**Me: So… FOR NARNIA! LERRRRROOOOOOYYYY JEEEENNNNNKKKKIINNNSSSSS!**

January 15, 2015 (Ages- M/F/I- 21, N/E/I- 18, G- 15, A- 13, L/T- 4, Jack- 1)

Max POV

I rolled over, looking at the clock on my nightstand. 2:46. Fresh tears welled up in my eyes as I saw the date in the right hand corner- 1/15. Today was Iggy's expiration date.

The past two weeks were the worst weeks of my entire life. You would've thought that they would be the best, since I just turned 21, right? Since we, the six original Flock, gave up remembering our "birthdays", they were all just on January first now. So these weeks should've been filled with booze and partying, right? Wrong. They had been filled with mourning for Iggy.

He hadn't gotten any better before this day, and he didn't have anywhere to go without getting worse. Nudge- huh, we had thought she was bad before- was going insane. Literally. She would not sleep, she would not eat; she would drink a sip of water once a day jut to stay alive. She would sit in Iggy's room, barely letting anyone else come in, and just sit there. She'd have this wide-eyed blank look, twirling her hair on her finger, sometimes muttering to herself or touching Iggy's arm.

I rolled over to face Fang. He was the only reason, besides my kids, that I wasn't insane like Nudge right about now. Those three- Fang with his calm rock-ness, and the twins with their boundless energy and happiness, kept me… okay. Just okay, though. Iggy was like a little brother, best guy friend, accomplice, and son all rolled into one for me. I couldn't imagine how Nudge felt.

Fang was awake- no surprise there. He was, like, attuned to my sleeping- and staring at me. I twitched one side of my mouth up, the closest I got to a smile these days. He returned it with a smirk of his own, the closest he ever got to a smile, and a whispered "Go back to sleep."

I frowned slightly, wiping tears from my eyes. "But… today." I sniffled. He understood what I was talking about, and hugged me closer to him… if that was even possible. Even more tears sprang to my eyes- geez, I'd used up like… my whole lifetime supply of tears this last month- and I nuzzled my head into his shoulder. He silently stroked my wings and hair, and I eventually faded into a restless sleep.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER- favorite piece of clothing? I love my plain black skinny jeans :D**

The next morning, the entire flock (plus dogs, Ella, Ian, Jack and Mom) were gathered in Iggy's room. I guess we all couldn't sleep, so it was early- about 7:20. I wasn't sure what time today Iggy was… going… but I was prepared to wait all day. Not that I wanted it to happen… it's just… you know….

Everyone was silent, my mom and Ella already in black. We all took a seat on the floor around his bed, just watching him. He was still sleeping/passed out/whatever peacefully, like the terrible New Year's Eve.

I'm not sure how long we stood there- Nudge had thrown the clock across their room in a fit of rage one day- but I was filling up with more and more dread. I was thinking morbid thoughts, like would it hurt him? Would he go quietly? Will we see any change at all? Is there a heaven?

That last question was interesting. I was never a very religious person, except for that one time we went to hide in a church. I mean… would a god let evil do this to my family? But I couldn't help feeling that there has to be something after death, otherwise it was just nothingness. And that would be terrible boring… and frightening. I mean, just empty blackness for an eternity? I shuddered, and fervently hoped that there was something out there- some fire filled, bright, see-able heaven for Iggy.

I felt Fang give a little shudder at my side, and I grabbed his hand. Besides me, Iggy was the closest Flock member to Fang. Fang was taking it especially well- probably because he bottled up all of his feelings- but I could see through it. I saw him shed some tears for Iggy on New Year's Eve. I'd seen him look so sadly at Iggy that it broke _my _heart. I'd seen him put a hand on Iggy's shoulder so gently that it looked like something a father would do.

Fang was capable of emotions- he definitely was. Just not very often. But when he was, boy, it was hardcore. When he was sad- you cried thinking about it. When he was mad- you better evacuate the area. When he was happy- you were giddy as a butterfly just looking at his smile. It was one of the many reasons I loved him.

I was brought back to the present by a low groan from Iggy, it was the first sound he'd made in months. He shifted in his bed and moaned a little louder. My eyes filled to the brim again, as I realized _this was it_.

Nudge threw herself onto Iggy, sobbing uncontrollably. We let her hug him for a minute or two, then gently pulled her off. Gazzy hugged him next, tears falling freely down his face- Iggy was like a father to him. Ella (with Jack), Angel, and my mom all hugged him, tears dripping onto the sheets. Ian, whose eyes were dry but filled with endless grief, bent down and hugged Iggy- even if he'd only known him a few years. Lizzy and Tyler ran over and hugged him on each side, tears evident on their face- Iggy was the best uncle to them. Fang kneeled next to Iggy and hugged him, and I was the only one to see tears streaking down his cheeks before he wiped them away and stood up. Finally, I clung to Iggy, silently saying my goodbyes and sorry's.

_**Maximum- I hate to interrupt, but-**_

_ Really? REALLY? SHUT THE F*** UP AND GO AWAY! LEAVE RIGHT NOW! DO YOU REALLY THINK I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU AT A FUNERAL?_

_**I have to tell you somethi-**_

___WHAT DID I JUST SAY? LEAVE. ME. ALONE! _The Voice was silent after that.

We all pulled back and watched tearfully as Iggy groaned and put his head in his hands. It was awful- his skeletal thin body was twisting in the sheets, and he was scrabbling at his head and eyes, moaning. This went on for almost ten minutes, and the tears, sobs, and Nudge's screams kept coming.

Until finally… he lay still. No one made a sound, just watched. That was it. Iggy was gone.

**A/N: Me: Well guys… *sniff*… I guess *sob*… THAT IT ISN'T OVER YET! U mad? LOL review and tell me how you reacted! I, for one, felt like crying again. Anyway… read on!**

Wait a minute… was he still breathing? I turned towards Fang, wiping my eyes to clear away the blurriness. He looked just as confused as I was. Nudge even stopped crying, trying to understand. We'd just seen him… you know… die. And… he was still breathing? And… alive?

Iggy shifted his head… and opened his eyes. Everyone just stared at him, open mouthed. Why? For one, um… HE WAS STILL ALIVE! Two… he was focusing on out faces and objects in the room LIKE HE WASN'T BLIND! I was, as usual, the first one to recover.

"Iggy- What. The. F*CK. JUST. HAPPENED?" I screamed. I mean… one moment he was dying, and the next he was… not.

He raised an eyebrow, _looking me straight in the eye_, and said "I was kind of hoping you could tell me that." His voice sounded horrible- like he had been gargling steel wool, sandpaper, chainsaws, nails, acid, and buzz saws all mixed together.

Still, no one moved or made a sound. First, I needed to address the most pressing issue. "Iggy- how many fingers am I holding up?" I asked, holding up three.

I expected a retort like "How should I know? I'm blind, remember!" But what I got instead was "Uh… three?" in a 'Duh!' tone. My mouth dropped open again as he stared at me, with his no-longer-cloudy blue eyes.

"Do you realize what you just said?" Fang said quietly, speaking for the first time.

Iggy paused, then… "OH MY GOD! THREE! YOU'RE HOLDING UP THREE FINGERS! OH MY F*CKING GOD! I CAN SEE! I CAN SEE ALL OF YOU! AAAAHHHHH!" He jumped out of bed, seeming to forget his near death status, and ran over to each of us like a madman. He was tracing our faces and staring at us hungrily, taking in all of the details.

When he got to Nudge, he hugged her so hard I thought her head would pop off. Then, they commenced an intense make out session which had all of us turning our heads away. I took this opportunity to talk to the Voice. _Ok- what the f*ck just happened?_

_**I told you I had something to tell you. **_Smug little bugger.

_Wha- Why- I don't understand!_

_**Iggy was never going to die. His body's shut down was its way of repairing his eyesight. The 'expiration date' was merely when it would be complete.**_

__I was silent for a moment, processing all of this. I think I came up with a suitable response. _YOU F*CKING A**HOLE! THIS WHOLE F***ING TIME WE THOUGHT IGGY WAS F***ING DYING, AND WE WAS JUST F***ING FIXING HIS EYES! OH MY GOD, I F***ING HATE YOU EVEN MORE NOW! _I screamed so loud that my own head hurt. I took a moment to calm myself down. _Why did this happen?_

The Voice was silent for a moment. _**I'm… not really sure.**_ That was new. I didn't ask it any more questions; I just joined in the group hug around Iggy. He was crying tears of joy, along with everyone. Well… except Fang. I guess he used up his life time supply of tears, too. But he was still smiling brightly enough to challenge the sun.

Iggy pushed us away a bit and sat down on his bed. "Whew, I am exhausted. I need some water and food stat. And… can I sleep? I'm not in tip-top shape right now." We all laughed, glad to have our old Iggy back, and I went to go order him a pizza.

**A/N: Me: Oh, how I love happy endings! I think this is my favorite chapter. I got to write more heart wrenching stuff, while also include some good old humor. **

**MooMoo: Bravo, bravo!**

**Rawr: Good show, I say!**

**Me: Aw, you're making me blush. *blush* Fact: My dad brought in a small trampoline from the garage. Now I have something to bounce upon! YAY!**

**MooMoo: So… tomorrow is the last chapter-**

**Rawr: -before you leave, right?**

**Me: Yup! So, keep an eye out for it! And… R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R&R!**


	24. Wedding 3

**A/N: Me: Everybody welcome Fang back! YAY!**

**Fang: I still hate you.**

**MooMoo: When haven't you?**

**Rawr: Besides, it was for your own good!**

**Me: They've both got good points. You know, you should listen to them more often.**

**Fang: So… you're telling me… to listen to a taking platypus and baby T-rex… that are figments of your imagination? And **_**I'm **_**the one that had to go to therapy?**

**Me: First of all, they are 100% real- Sister can see them too.**

**Fnag: Like that proves anything.**

**Me: SECOND of all, yes you did because you had an addiction… and it was tearing our family apart *sniff***

**Fang: … Family?**

**Me: Yup! Me and you- the parents, MooMoo and Rawr- the kids, and Sister- the crazy Aunt. Fact: Remember the psycho, six toed cat (who hates Fang) that I am taking care of for our old neighbors? Well, she is supposed to be going back at the end of August.**

**Fang: Oh, thank god!**

**Me: **_**IMPORTANT IMPORTANT IMPORTANT! **_**These are my favorite reviews for the last two chapters, which are also my favorite in the whole story. ALSO- if you don't beleive that Sster and I, B, are two different people... check out our profile picture! I'm on the right, Sister is on the left :)**

**Ch. 22- **Sierra156: I cried. I literally freaking cried. I DID. And then my dad was looking at me all weird cause I'm sitting in font if te computer screen, crying. I applaud you. You're amazing.

xXInfinite-ImaginationXx: NOOOOO! Don't kill Iggy! :'(

AngelofDeath64: No it can't be Iggys my soul mate nooo IGGY!

BalletandBooks: Let him liiivvveee! I beg you!

**Ch. 23- **Randommaximumridefan: Ugggh I hate you! You made me think Iggy was dead! You made me think chapter 24 would be moping around! YOU MADE ME THINK THAT THE TITLE (of the whole story) WAS A LIE?

Sierra156: OHMYGOD OMGWTFBBQ THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME I FELT LIKE CRYING FUCKING TEARS OF JOY.  
>But anyway. YOU'RE SO AMAZING! SERIOUSLY!<p>

Bryony Honeysuckle: Really good story, you have the gift, keep writing, fly on:)

**Me: I love you all :D Thank you for the compliments and for making me laugh!**

April 6, 2015

Max POV

We still hadn't figured out why or how Iggy got his sight back, or who did it. Not even the Voice knew, and that was really unusual. But we tried to just not think about the how, just focus on the fact that our favorite blind-pyromaniac-chef was no longer blind!

For instance, right now he was even beating _Angel_ at poker. NO one beats Angel at poker, ever. Sure, Iggy was always the next best one… when he couldn't see the cards. Now that he could see the cards, he was pwning everybody. I think the best part of him being not blind was when he got to see his family for the first time, whether it was in 14 years (Fang and I) or ever (as with everyone else).

When he saw Angel and Gazzy, I thought his mouth would rip off of his face, it was so big. When he saw Ella and Ian and Dr. M, the smile got even bigger- I wouldn't have thought that it was possible. With Lizzy, Tyler, and Jack, he was a natural- I knew he would be good with kids. I just knew it. When he saw Fang and I, he just hugged us both- really hard. I mean, I couldn't even breathe.

But when he saw Nudge… the look on his face was priceless. His smile dropped in shock, his newly-fixed eyes widened to twice their size. He reached up a trembling hand and touched her face. There was so much awe and love in his eyes… I wanted to puke. Yup, it was just _way_ too mushy for me to handle. But it really was sweet.

So that was why it was no surprise that that very next week- as soon as he was healed enough- Iggy took Fang for an afternoon, and came back with a ring. He proposed to Nudge right in the kitchen, in front of everyone. She, being Nudge, burst into tears and started babbling nonstop. Then they started making out… again… and we all left, trying to preserve the innocence of our eyes.

Nudge took the time to plan out her wedding for months, unlike Ella and I who wanted it done right away. She took it upon herself, with some help from Angel, to plan "the most fantastical uber-fun awesomesauce bestest wedding ever!" Her words, not mine.

So now it was April, and her wedding had finally come. Nudge had appointed Ella as maid of honor- I didn't mind, I mean, less work for me, right?- and Lizzy was the flower girl. Fang was Iggy's best man. Angel and my mom were bridesmaids, Tyler was the ring bearer, and the dogs were in their usual positions. I swear to God, next wedding I'm going to hire a priest myself.

Nudge looked like a model in her wedding gown. Her makeup was done perfectly, and there wasn't a stray curl in sight. She was smiling the whole time, and her white teeth shone out against her dark skin. Her dress was a very, very pale pink. It poofed out half way down, and it was huge! Like… five feet across! It also had a plunging neckline (which I wasn't too thrilled about) and ball gown sleeves. It was shimmery, satiny, and shone in the light from the legit church we were in. She had a long veil, and an even longer 10 foot train behind her.

The ceremony was the longest one I had ever heard, and that's because Nudge wanted the full thing, every word of it. I restrained myself from fidgeting… too much… and sighing as I held a sleeping Jack. I kept shooting looks at Fang, like at Ella's wedding, and looking at Iggy. He spent his whole time looking around, taking it all in, making up for fourteen years of darkness. He kept coming back to Nudge, though. He would stare at her for 10, 15 minutes at a time. It would've been creepy, if you didn't know the story behind it.

Oh, thank God! They just kissed, and now we can leave!

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER- what is a bad habit you have? I pick my nails and crack my knuckles :P**

The reception was really fun, I'll have to admit. She had it at the beach, and it was made up like a club. There were strobe lights and disco balls, a DJ and a drink table. I couldn't hold Iggy and Fang back, now that they were 21. So, I watched as they got drunker and drunker as the evening wore on, sitting at a table with my sleeping three-and-a-half year olds.

At one point, probably about 11:30, Nudge came over. "So… where's _your _husband?" she asked, rubbing her feet.

"Getting drunker by the second with _your_ husband," I giggled. She laughed along with me, and managed to drag me onto the dance floor for a couple songs. I was just waking back to my table when a drunken Fang and Iggy bumped into Nudge and I.

"Oh, hiiiiii Maxie 'n' Nudgie!" Iggy slurred. Fang smiled dopily and waved.

"Um… hi. Whatcha up to?" I asked in a two-year old tone.

"Oh, Fangles 'n' I are jus' trollin' 'round, drinkin' some stuff…" he continued, swaying. Fang nodded slowly. Huh, even as a drunk he doesn't talk much.

"I think you guys need to get home and sleep this off." Nudge said, in one of her shortest sentences ever. _I guess she _is_ growing up_, I thought as we dragged the two nimrods into the car.

**The next morning**

Fang POV

Ugh, my head felt like a set of bowling pins being hit by a marble bowling ball. I sat up slowly, blinking away the dark spots. I rubbed my temples. What happened last night?

**A/N: Me: I know, I know- too short and boring. But that's for two reasons. One, I don't have much time to type this chapter out. Two, You just got three pretty good not boring chapters… so….**

**Fang: Am I allowed out of your "supervision" now?**

**Me: No, I need to make sure you're actually clean and won't go back to using!**

**MooMoo: We care about you Fang**

**Rawr: We're only trying to help.**

**Fang: *head wall* You people are all idiots!**

**Me: *le gasp* Fang! That is no way to talk to your family! *smack* Fact: I have never been to a wedding. Ever. I've been to like… four or five funerals… and that's it.**

**Fang: That's sad. **

**Me: I know, I know. But no one asked you Fang. As usual!**

**Fang: This is why I don't talk normally.**

**Me: Nope, it's just because you're emo! :D R&R pleaasssee, and I'll see you in a week!**

**Fang: I'M NOT EMO!**


	25. Hook Ups

**A/N: Me: *throws open invisible front door* I AM BACK, SNITCHES!**

**Fang: *throws himself onto me* Oh thank God! Thank God you're here! Never leave again! Oh God, I'm begging you! NEVER LEAVE ME HERE AGAIN! **

**Me: Uh… not that I'm not happy that you finally appreciate me for the kind and loving person I am… but why?**

**Fang: *still holding onto me* It was terrible! Oh God… Sister… she… she… *shudder* just never leave again! **

**MooMoo: He's right.**

**Rawr: It was a disaster while you were gone.**

**Me: Ah, right. I got her texts and messages. Here, I'll show you guys them.**

**Review on a story: **ThisIsDEFINITELYNotSister  
>Your story is boring. Make someone get shot. In the face. I think you should tell them to read my story, A Day with Fang. Read it peoples. I read all your reviews. Anyways, I'm bored. Imma write junk now. Post it. Say you did it. Make them laugh at you. I really think you should shoot someone in the face. Not me. You told me my story was boring and I made Max get shot. So shoot. I also might have killed Fang. Yeah, well, I was poisoning someone's food, you know? And I think I forgot to wash my hands, so Fang might have traces of Anthrax in his system. It's that or he's ill from dressmakeup/pink overload. Dunno. Either's likely. I'm bored. You said before you left not to kill Fang, so since he's like, almost dead, I'm incredibly bored. I should probably go take care of the blood from earlier...

This isn't Sister.

**Then this is the conversation that followed that review by texts:**

Me: I read your latest long review. You are so messed up. AND I SAID NOT TO KILL FANG! HE BETTER BE ALIVE WHEN I GET HOME YOUNG LADY, OR YOU ARE IN BIG TROUBLE! AND HE BETTER NOT BE TURNING BACK TO CHLORFORM!

Her: No I promise I won't let him get addicted. Dying, on the other hand…..

Me: :( I'm warning you!

Her: :P Too late he died. Little Puma **(the crazy six-toed cat living in our house that hates Fang)** got to him in his injuredness and he died. *insert super super long blank space here* JK

Me: I'm gonna kill you when I get home. So he better be back alive when I get there.

Her: *the Tuesday I was going home* You're coming home today! :D He's all better now.

**Me: So… yeah. Poor, poor Fang. More stuff that went on when I wasn't here can be found in Sister's story 'A Day With Fang'. Check it out. Fact: Right now, after a week at the beach, I am the most tan I've ever been in my life. Yay! :D**

**Fang: ***_**still**_** holding on to me* Just… promise me you'll never leave me here again! PLEASE!**

**Me: Ok, ok… just let go!**

May 23, 2014

Max POV

I was watching Angel across the room, studying her. Before you say anything, I had a good reason- I wasn't a stalker. She had been sullen, withdrawn, and snappy all day, and that wasn't like her. She'd even snapped at Gazzy, whom she usually doted on.

It was lunch when Angel yelled at Tyler for "tilting her plate too much so that potato chips got in the applesauce" while he was handing to her, that made me decide I should talk to her. I motioned for Fang to deal with a tearful Tyler while standing up. "Come out here with me, Angel." Angel glowered a bit while following me out the door to the deck. I sat down on the big swing and patted the seat next to me. "Why the grumpy bug act?" I asked.

Angel sat down next to me with a huff. "I wish I had a boyfriend," she muttered. I was shocked. Angel, my baby, wanting a relationship? _She's 13 now, hardly a baby anymore. _The rational part of my mind chimed in. _Shut up!_ I argued. With myself. Don't judge.

I finally thought of a response. "Why, honey?"

She looked me in the eyes, and as it had been her entire life, she looked much older for her age. "I hear Totals', Akila's, Ella's, Nudge's, Ian's, Iggy's, Fang's, and your thoughts. It's hard for me not to want a relationship when I'm constantly surrounded by romantic thoughts. Even Gazzy is fantasizing about girls!" she complained.

Her direct statements made me realize how un-attuned to my flock I had become in our years of downtime. I would have been able to pick up the mood changes in an instant a few years ago. Now, my two youngest flock members were ready to date people!

"Honey, dating isn't all it's cracked up to be. There's fights, breakups, awkwardness, miscommunication, self-esteem issues, and paranoia… the list could go on!" I said, getting worked up. This was Angel, my baby! Gazzy, I could halfway understand. Especially with Iggy "guiding him through life". Geez. I mean, he was fifteen. But oh boy, I remember Iggy and Fang at 15. Dear God, I better talk to him soon.

Angel got that stubborn look on her face, and I sighed. "Max, I just want to find my soul mate, like you did with Fang." I was just about to comment on how that was sweet of her, until she said, "Well… it took you a while though." I glared at her instead. We had a stare-down for a few minutes, and I thought I was winning, but then Angel pulled out the big guns. Bambi eyes. Which, even approaching teenage years, could still pack a punch. So, I finally gave up. "Oh, alright. I'll find you a 'soul mate'," I gave in.

"Yay! Thank you sooooo much, Max!" Angel cheered, giving me a huge hug. What have I gotten myself into?

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Favorite summertime activity? Mine is going to the beach. CHECK OUT THE POLL ON MY PROFILE!**

The next thing to deal with on the agenda was to talk to Gazzy. Angel had said he was thinking about girls, so I had better talk to him than to have him find out from Iggy. I cornered him a few hours after lunch in the gaming room we had, playing Xbox.

I walked in front of the flat screen TV, and Gazzy paused it, looking at me in annoyance. "Yes?" he asked snidely, wanting to get back to his Call of Duty.

"We need to talk," I said, pushing him towards the couch. He sat down with wide eyes.

"Whatever it is, Iggy did it! I'm innocent!" he shouted before I even said a word.

I chuckled. "No, you're not in trouble. But, uh, Angel and I were talking earlier, and, ah, she said you'd been thinking about, um, girls." God, I did not know how to handle this.

Gazzy blushed, looking down. "Yeah. I mean… I want someone I can be with all the time. Like Iggy and Nudge. Or even you and Fang. Just… no kids yet," he said with a wrinkled nose. Whew- that's one issue out of the way.

I nodded, and said "I understand. Angel said the same thing. So… I've decided to help you guys look for dates," I finished after taking a deep breath.

Gazzy beamed, and then narrowed his eyes. "Angel's gonna start dating? I don't think that's a good idea." Psh- typical older brother junk.

**POLL. ON MY PROFILE. GO. VOTE. NOW!**

I called Mom, Ella, and Ian over that night for dinner, considering I had no expertise in the human dating world at all. We were just eating the second, and main, course of four roast chickens when I approached the big question.

"So um… guys… Angel and Gazzy… um… they want to… um… date?" Argh- it wasn't a question! Stupid vocal cords. But the reaction I was fearing happened.

Fang and Iggy immediately shouted "Angel? No! Not happening!" Nudge and Ella squealed about how cute it was, and Mom got a knowing look in her eye. Then, Iggy and Ian switched to giving Gazzy fist bumps.

Fang, next to me, whispered "Why would you let _Angel_ date?" I saw it deep in his expressionless eyes- he was pissed. It was like with Nudge, except ten times worse.

I frowned. "I'm not happy about it either, Fang, but she had a point. She's constantly surrounded by romantic thoughts from four couples, us included. She's never dated at all, and she doesn't live a normal life. The least I can do is support her, and make sure she finds a really good guy. You can help, or not."

His hard eyes searched mine for a few more seconds, before he sighed. "Okay, I'll help. But it has to be a really, _really_ good guy."

"Um, guys?" Ian called out. We all stopped squealing, fist bumping, and shouting "No!" to listen. He cleared his throat. "I have two younger siblings. A 13 year old brother named Matt, and a 15 year old sister named Hannah." Gazzy and Angel smiled at each other, a step already taken to find a good boy/girl friend material.

Fang and I looked at each other. This could work. This could work very well.

**A/N: Me: So there ya have it! The first chapter in a week! **

**Fang: So what did you do in South Carolina while I was here being tortured by your psychotic sister?**

**Sister: I heard that!**

**Fang: *cringe***

**Me: Kayaking, dolphin watching, biking, morning jogging, evening walks, went to the beach everyday, went out to eat, and generally had an **_**awesome**_** time :D**

**MooMoo: Sounds fun.**

**Rawr: But we're really glad you're back!**

**Me: Aw, you're making me blush!**

**Fang: No, we just wouldn't have survived without you for much longer!**

**Me: Oh. That too. Fact: Over the vacation, there were these two guys on the same floor as us, my friend Stephanie and I, in the next building over. They kept talking to us every night while we sat out there listening to music. Eventually, they started throwing pretzels at us. It was funny. We even got them to believe we were from "Justin Bieber Canada?" for a while XD**

**Fang: And what was the first thing they said to you?**

**Me: Oh yeah XD. "Ladies on the third floor, we were bored and were wondering if you wanted to chat or something?" Losers. Anyway, R&R, and also R&R Sister's story, 'A Day With Fang'. Bye bye!**


	26. Picnic Fun

**A/N: Me: Hey hey hey everybody! Whoa… I feel like I've used that greeting before.**

**Fang: That's because you are unimaginative and repetitive.**

**Sister: And you aren't?**

**Me and Fang: How did you get here?**

**Sister: With my awesome ninja skills.**

**Me: Right…. **

**Sister: *glare***

**Fang: I can just feel the crazy coming off of her in waves!**

**Sister: That's right, I am the crazy aunt of this family!**

**MooMoo: Yay! We love you!**

**Rawr: No matter what Daddy Fang says about you!**

**Sister: Whhhhaaaaaaatttt?**

**Me: Yup. He says you are the most psychotic person he's ever met, and that includes Ari. And Dylan. **_**Ouch**_**.**

**Sister: True. Still, just because you know I've broken out of eight mental asylums doesn't mean that I am that crazy! Now, I have to kill you.**

**Fang: You are crazy. *runs for life***

**Sister: Mwahahahahaha! *chases***

**Me: Play nice! Anyhoo… Fact: OK, I KNOW THAT IT'S THE INTERNET AND YOU CAN'T BE SURE OF ANYTHING, BUT I HEARD FROM A PRETTY RELIABLE SOURCE THAT IN THE MR MOVIE IN 2013, IGGY WILL BE PLAYED BY ALEX PETTYFER AND FANG WILL BE PLAYED BY AVAN JOGIA. Go Google them- they aren't bad choices. But anyone who is playing Fang I won't like, since the real Fang will be hotter than anyone else. **

**MooMoo: Good thing he's still running.**

**Rawr: His ego doesn't need to get any bigger.**

May 22, 2015

Max POV

Today, we were having a picnic with Ian's family. Why? To hook up his two younger siblings and mine. To say that I was worried would be an understatement. I would be the biggest, gol-danged, mother trucking, huge, fudging, freaking understatement of the century!

Ian still had no idea about our wings. In fact, after my sister and mom, we hadn't told anyone outside of our family. Yeah, I know Ian was part of our family now, but he wasn't _family _family, you know? Call me paranoid, but it's not paranoia when they're actually following you.

Of course, Ella had to go and pull the 'but I'm your _only sister_!' act on me. The Bambi eyes didn't help either. So, I was forced to tell Ian _before_ his family came. By myself. With no help. At all. To say it went well was another huge, _mother trucking _understatement! WooooooOOOOOOoooo- flashback!

_ Flashback_

_ We were at home, helping Iggy make a huge picnic lunch. Well… everyone else was helping. I was "supervising" since I was banned from the kitchen many, many years ago._

_ "Hey Ian, help me put these plates in the basket over here?" I called over to him. He was on the other side of the room, folding one of three blankets up. He looked up, nodded, and walked over._

_ We stacked glass plates in silence for a minute or two, nothing but the sound of _clinks_ coming from the plates. As he put the final plate on top, I took a deep breath. "Uh… Ian? There's… um… there's something… uh… I need to… ah… show you." Wow, was I a smooth talker or what?_

_ He looked really confused- poor guy- but nodded slowly, not knowing where this was going. I took another deep breath, and decided to go with the best confession strategy known to man. Or, at least known to me. _

_ I whipped out my wings, causing an updraft that lifted up his shaggy hair. I slowly moved them back and forth, showing him they were, in fact, real. Yup- bluntness was the only way to go in these types of situations._

_ He didn't say a word. No sound, no movement, so sign that he was ever going to do either of those things again. He turned into a Fang-being-hugged. In other words, a statue. The only things that moved were his eyes. They bugged out, and moved over my brown-fading-to-black-with-white-on-the-underside wings._

_ I exhaled sharply, sensing him not going anywhere anytime soon, and pulled them back into my t-shirt. His head snapped up, and he was much paler than I'd ever seen him, still with that oh-so-attractive fish out of water expression._

_ I waved my hand in front of his face. "Hellooooo, anybody in there?" Finally, a response! He blinked slowly, squinting at me like he was trying to figure out a really hard math equation. _

_ "Um… are those real? Can you fly? Where did you get them? Does Ella know? Do you all have them?" Whoa. I guess when shocked, he turns into a Nudge-on-caffeine._

_ "They're real. Yup. Hell on earth. She and our mom know. Just Fang, Iggy, Gazzy, Angel, Lizzy, Tyler, and I have them." I tried to answer all of his questions._

_ He nodded. "Oh good." Then promptly passed out. I threw my hands in the air. _

_ "Clean up in aisle… living room!" I shouted stomping out of the room. I'm the leader- why do I always have to do the hard stuff?_

We finally got him revived in time to leave to go meet his family. You don't want to know how- it involved Gazzy, a burrito, and a paper bag. And a monkey. Just kidding! Well… about the monkey part. *shudder*

As we stepped into the yard, and away from the car, he looked at us puzzled. Like… he wanted to know why we weren't heading towards the cars. I raised an eyebrow, and all eight of us whipped out our wings. He visibly paled, swallowed really hard, and averted his eyes, walking quickly to the car. I chuckled quietly at his reaction. He'll get used to it.

It was a really nice flight to the park. It was warm, sunny, there was a nice breeze, and we were all together…. The best part was that since my mom, Total, Akila, Ella, Ian, and Jack were taking the cars, we didn't need to carry anything!

I was flying at the point of our 'v' formation. Going diagonal to my left were Nudge, Angel, and Lizzy. Going diagonal to my right were Fang, Iggy, Gazzy, and Tyler. I closed my eyes, feeling the air whip through my hair and feathers, enjoying the sun on my back.

So I was very startled when I felt a sharp tug on my right shoe. I let out a squawk, and fell a couple feet. Rising back up, I glared at the line of boys, particularly at Fang. His face and eyes didn't give away anything, as usual. I gave him one last glare, before returning to my position.

I had just settled in when I got a sharp tug on my left ankle. I whirled around and stared at the line of girls, all of whom were stifling laughter and shaking their heads. I glared at all of them, searching their faces for any hint of mischief. None, unfortunately. Just amusement… at my expense. Warily, I turned back around and continued flying.

Now, I was expecting another ankle tug, or maybe a feather pull. But what I _wasn't_ expecting was 115 lbs of dark, silent, and sexy bird boy (well… I guess he could be called 'man' now that he was 21…) canon balling on my back.

I let out a shriek as I fell, hurriedly righting myself. I shot upwards at almost 400 mph, diving right into Fang's stomach… and abs…. I heard the wind go rushing out of his body, and as I turned to face him he was doubled over, trying to catch his breath, wings flapping on autopilot. I smirked and stroked his shoulders as I passed him. "You're welcome, Fangles," I cooed, flying forward to the point of the 'v'.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER- favorite sport to play? I love to run track.**

We landed at the picnic spot, running over to the shade. We were at a man- made lake in northern Arizona. It came complete with a sand beach, fish, and trees for shade all around. We sat there, waiting, for almost an hour. That's the reward we get for being an advanced life form.

When the cars finally pulled up, I noticed that there was a third car, an old gray Saub, following Ella's and my mom's cars. Woo… the parents were here. Notice the dripping sarcasm.

Ian's dad, Chad, got out of the driver's seat. He looked a lot like Ian- platinum blonde hair, very tan, tall- except he had emerald green eyes. Ian's mom, Ashely, got out of the passenger door. She looked very different, with red hair (GRRRRRR!) and pale skin. But she had Ian's deep blue eyes. Then Hannah and Matt got out of the back. Matt had strawberry blonde hair, almost the same color as Iggy's, and aqua blue eyes. Hannah had her mom's red hair and her dad's green eyes. Overall, a very attractive family, I must say. I guess I was too bored- I mean engaged in the wedding :)- to see them there.

We did the customary greetings and handshakes, only a bit awkwardly. Then we proceeded to unpack everything, since us mutants were hungry, and sat down to eat.

I had briefed Lizzy and Tyler before we left not to do anything "special" here. There needed to be a right time to show his parents. We had to show them what their two youngest children were getting into.

It was really cute, the way Hannah and Gazzy and Angel with Matt, sat next to each other on one of the blankets and started talking shyly. Like they were still eight years old. They seemed to be getting along, and I could only pray to God that Angel wasn't playing puppet with their minds.

The three adults (well… parents… actually… um… oh, the three oldest people here!) were chatting quietly amongst themselves on the second blanket, talking about the weather, or stocks, or some other incredibly boring stuff. The rest of the flock and the dogs sat on the third blanket, stuffing our faces.

I noticed that Iggy never blinked. At all. I had caught it a few times in the past couple months, but now that I sat down and watched him for half an hour, he never blinked once. "Iggy- why don't you blink? You're gonna hurt your eyes." I asked, mouth full of food.

He looked at me like I was slow. "I was 'blinking' for fourteen years, do ya really think I want to keep my eyes closed for anything?" Oh. Duh. I looked back down at my plate.

We continued in peace, finishing our meal with no arguments, fights, or accidental wing unveilings. It was a miracle. Of course… this is me we're talking about, right?  
>"Hey, Lizzy. Let's go swimming!" I heard Tyler whisper to Lizzy.<p>

"Okay!" she whispered back, giggling. The two got up and left their apple pie plates half finished. Which Total and Iggy "cleaned up".

I barely time to comprehend, think it through, and tell them not to before they did it. The both whipped off their nice-ish t-shirts, spread their wings, flew up into the air, and canon balled into the lake. Thanks for teaching them that, Gazzy.

I peeked a glance at Ian's family, hoping they didn't see that. Of course, two red heads and two platinum blondes were gaping at the lake, doing a good fish impersonation. Dangit! Of course, I have to do damage control. Again.

"Uh… hehe… we have something… to show you?" I squeaked. The six flock members, plus Total, stood up and slowly extended our wings. I sighed, seeing an imminent faint fest.

Luckily, Chad had more balls than his son, Ian, so he hadn't fainted. Yet. Ashley… well she fainted. Right away. I looked, horrified, at Hannah and Matt. I hope this didn't ruin Angel's and Gazzy's chances! But they were fine, wide eyed, stroking Gazzy's and Angels' feathers.

"We… aren't exactly human." I said, looking at Chad. He gave me a 'No dip, Sherlock!' expression, before shaking his head.

He looked at all of our wings, gulped loudly, and said "Well… this is new. Why didn't you tell us before?"

Surprisingly, it was Fang that spoke. "Sir, Ian didn't know until today. We didn't want to… scare your family off." I nodded, hoping that he wouldn't take off running.

Chad nodded slowly. "Um… can I… can I see you… you know… fly?" I nodded, shocked. He accepted this pretty quickly. I motioned for everyone to take off, and the three that were awake (plus Ian, since he hadn't seen us fly yet) looked amazed. And… well, envious. Hannah and Matt were clapping their hands and beaming, and I sure hoped Gazzy and Angel were happy.

**A/N: Me: Picnics are always fun :) Fact: My friend Noreen came back from a summer long intensive ballet camp at Princeton, and we're hanging out tomorrow! :D**

**Fang: *out of breath and beaten up* So… apparently… a lot of people…. like your… story.**

**Me: Oh yea. I cried when I saw all the reviews, and then I was like… OH GOD I'm gonna get raped in my sleep from angry reviewers D: **

**MooMoo: Through the computer?**

**Rawr: Is that even possible?**

**Me: You never know… you never know… So I hope this was good, to make up for the drama over the past 24 hours. And again… I'm sorry for getting you guys upset, and I'll try to never do that again. It wasn't a picnic for me, either. So R&R, please!**


	27. Nudge is Pregnant :O

**A/N: Me: Sorry for the wait, but my family went camping this past weekend. So… no wifi :( **

**Fang: And she decided to take me with her, so… I didn't have fun either.**

**Me: Please, what would you have to do if we left you here? Hide from Chloe the cat?**

**Fang: Um… yes. And enjoy NOT having you two around!**

**Me: Whatever Fang. But, you guys can see what happened during my camping trip in the first chapter of "The Journal of B and Fang". Which… will be up in a couple days.**

**Fang: School starts, for you, in a week. So you shouldn't procrastinate.**

**Me: First of all, shut up. Second of all, you have to come with me :)**

**Fang: **_**WHAT?**_

**MooMoo: Where else would she get chapters for "The Journal of B and Fang"?**

**Rawr: Home?**

**Fang: You're crazy!**

**Me: Not as much as Sister! There's plenty of Fax and Niggy in this chapter for y'all. Enjoy! Fact: Two days ago, I went through the very first earthquake of my life. It was awesome!**

**Fang: Yup- insane.**

August 12, 2015

Max POV

Iggy and Nudge went out for "alone time". I could only hope that they were behaving. Gazzy, Angel, Matt, and Hannah all went to the movies for a double date thing. My mom, along with Ella and Ian, were taking Lizzy, Tyler, and Jake to the zoo in Phoenix.

So Fang and I had the house to ourselves. What does a married couple in their early twenties do when they're home alone? Well… it involves pillows, and blankets…. Yup, you guessed right- we were building a pillow fort!

I sent Fang on a mission to grab all the sheets and pillows from every bed and closet in the house. He rolled his eyes and smirked, but he went to go get them anyway. While he was doing that, I scouted the house for the perfect place to build a fort. Bedroom? No, the space between the wall and the bed was too small. Kitchen? No, there wasn't anything to hook the blankets on. Living room? Hm… if we throw the blankets on the couch, then hook them to the table….

By the time Fang had come back in, carrying an immense load of pillow fort supplies in his strong arms, I had arranged the coffee table, TV stand, couch, armchair, and loveseat in a way to make the biggest and best pillow fort that has ever been made!

I grabbed blankets and pillows off of the huge pile, draping them over the edges of furniture, occasionally grabbing a remote control or a book to keep them in place. Fang helped a bit, once I told him where the blankets went. By himself, he was hopeless.

Within ten minutes, I had single handedly (okay… with a little bit of help from my pillow-fort-building-handicapped husband) created a massive pillow fort, big enough for the whole flock to fit in, and also stable enough to handle us. I dove right in through the "door", curling up in a dark corner on top of fluffy pillows. Fang slowly crawled in after me, sitting cross legged next to me.

"So. You have your pillow fort, what do you want to do now?" Fang asked quietly. He started stroking my hair, from forehead to wing, distracting me from my answer.

"Um… I was thinking…." God, he was so infuriating sometimes! Now he was pressing his soft lips against my jaw, moving down my throat with little kisses to my collar bone, and back up. "I… uh… oh, quit it, would you?" I said breathlessly. I shoved his shoulder, and he looked up at my face, smirking. I gave him a glare.

"What I was going to say is that we should play the random game." I finished, trying not to look at his smoldering eyes. That would distract me almost as well as his kisses.

He grinned my favorite lopsided smile, and said "Ok. I'll start. Turtles."

"Mouth." I shot back.

"Red."

"Food."

"Rabbit."

"Eat."

"Ah, now, that was related to food. You lose!" Fang grinned triumphantly.

I harrumphed and crossed my arms. "Not really. It's a verb. Food is a noun."

"But you _eat_ food, so it still is related. So, are you going to graciously admit defeat, or do I have to force you?" he growled playfully.

I pretended to think. "Um… no." I declared. Fang's eyes glinted with humor, then he leapt at me across the small space. He found my one weak spot- right in the middle of my ribs- and started tickling me. I started laughing uncontrollably, trying to shove him away through my tremors. "Fang… ha… wait… hahaha… stop... ahahah!" I shrieked through my laughter.

"Do you admit that you lost?" Fang chuckled, enjoying this.

It was hard to get an answer through my laughter. "Yes… yes… uncle… ahahaha… uncle!"

Fang leaned away from me, and I took a moment to catch my breath. I sat up slowly, both of us were still beaming. Then, without warning, I jumped on him, pinning down his arms and legs. I got _his _weak spot- right above his hip bones on his stomach- and started tickling him.

Now Fang was the one at my mercy, laughing as hard as I had ever heard him. I kept up tickling him, brushing just the tips of my fingers around on his skin, as he squirmed and laughed beneath me.

Fang had the most wonderful laugh- it was as deep as his voice, and was very distinct. He would give seven or eight good loud 'ha's', then do this funny little gasp-breath to get enough oxygen, and then the 'ha's' would return. It was the kind of laugh you would expect a dad to have, and I never got to hear it often enough.

Fang eventually was laughing so hard that he could barely breath, so I let up. I didn't quite want him to suffocate. But as soon as he tried to sit up, I pushed him down again. I pressed my lips to his, and he responded instantly.

It was no simple peck on the lips, and soon I was laying on the ground next to him, my arms around his neck, my fingers tangled in his hair. I broke off to breath, and I raggedly whispered "I love you." before smashing my mouth to his again.

He chuckled beneath my mouth, and said "I love you, too." He gave me one last heated kiss. "But I think people are coming back, so unless you want them in here with us…." he trailed off. I sighed, laying down across his chest. Were we really in here for almost three hours? He started stroking my hair again.

"Yea… I guess we better get out." I said disappointedly. Fang chuckled at my obvious unhappiness, but followed me out of the opening. Once we were back in the living room, I hoped my hair wasn't too messy, and that my cheeks weren't too flushed. Especially now that Iggy could see me….

Speak of the devil, Iggy walked in through the door, his arm around Nudge's waist. Lizzy and Tyler were chattering happily about the monkeys at the zoo, waving to Mom and Co. as they drove off. Gazzy followed behind them, talking to Angel about the movie that they went to go see. Apparently, they both enjoyed it, and were both happy that their dates enjoyed _them_. I wonder if Angel told Matt that she knew what he was thinking….

What I noticed right away, though, was that Nudge had tears- I guess happy, considering she was smiling so brightly- in her eyes, and that Iggy couldn't stop grinning and laughing ever so often.

"Ok, you two love birds." Get it? Love birds? _Birds?_ 'Cause of the- never mind. "What happened?" Either they had won the lottery, or they had a _really_ good alone time. Yuck.

"Max- I'm pregnant!" Nudge shouted, joyous tears threatening to spill over. I blanched, my mouth hanging open. I was _not _expecting that, were you? I just sat and stared, and Iggy and Nudge's smiles slowly disappeared. Gazzy, Angel, and the twins backed away up the stairs nervously. Fang nudged my arm, as if to say 'Say something!'.

I struggled to pull my expression together. "Well… that's… uh… something." I ground out. "When did you find this out?"

"Nudge just told me today." Iggy said warily.

"Um… three days ago?" Nudge squeaked.

I was speechless. Dear God… Nudge… this was… this was worse than… worse than Angel dating! "What. The. F**K! Were you thinking? Pregnant? Are you even ready for this yet? God, Nudge, you're only… 18! You've only been married for… four months! Jesus!"

By the time I had finished my rant, Nudge had her mouth set in a hard line, and she got that stubborn look on her face. "I _am_ ready, Max. You weren't even married to Fang when you had Lizzy and Tyler. You were only 17! I'm older than you were, and _I_ did it in the right order! Besides, Iggy is as old as you guys are, so he knew what he was getting in to!" As she said that last sentence, Iggy flashed a grimace. Weenie.

But Nudge wasn't done. But as she continued her argument, I was gathering my defense. You know, 'Do as I say, not as I do' type of stuff. "Face it, Max, I am doing this better than you were! And, we know what to expect from this, unlike you! So you are not making me give this baby up!" She was shouting by the end.

All of my defenses flew out of me, and I could feel myself physically deflate. "That's what you think? You think I'm going to make you give it up for adoption? Or _abortion?_" **(A/N: Me: I am not trying to influence your opinion on abortion, blah blah blah. I'm Christian Catholic. Oh! QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What religion are you?) **Nudge eyed my warily, and gave a curt nod. My eyes widened. "Nudge… I would never… I would never do that to you and Iggy!" I half whispered. Fang put an arm on my shoulders.

"Then where were you going with your yelling?" she asked.

"I was just going to berate you, Nudge! It would've taken me a few days to be at the right happiness level, but I would've gotten there! But… that you would think of me like that… it hurts my feelings a bit." I continued whispering, looking down.

After about a minute of silence, I looked up at her. She had more tears in her eyes, but they were sad now. I gave a tentative half smile, and held up my arms. She smiled right back, and threw herself into a huge hug. "I'm sure you're gonna be a great mom, Nudge." I said, patting her back.

"Thank you." she murmured. All of a sudden, we were attacked by two preteens and a toddler. Lizzy wasn't into hugs, like her dad she so closely resembled. But she stood there smiling, while we got into a big group hug.

All was peaceful. At least… until Nudge's hormones kicked in. That thought was enough for me to give a loud groan.

**A/N: Me: So… since school is starting soon, updating is going to go much slower. I won't have as much time to type, and Mila won't have as much time to beta. We're both in advanced classes and crap, so we have extra work to do.**

**Fang: Haha. **

**Me: Hey, you have to come to school with me, so I would suggest that you shut up.**

**Fang: You're seriously going through with this?**

**MooMoo: Yup.**

**Rawr: She's dead set on it.**

**Fang: *groan* I hate my life!**

**Me: Well, you could go to middle school with Sister.**

**Fang: Um… maybe high school will be fun. Hehe….**

**Me: That's the spirit! Fact: My character Blade will be the villain in "Survival of the Fittest" by The Jade Empress. My character Shadow will be in the story "Rush" by maximumridefan111. My character Shadow will be the villain/flock leader in the story "Created to kill, born to love" by broken and bleeding wings. My character will be the main character/leader in the story "Focus on the Shadows" by xXjaziXx (which I'm also beta-ing for). Read and review them all!**

**Go forth, my minions, R&R ALL the stories!**


	28. 3 Months Later

**A/N: Me: OH MY GOD! WE HIT THE 200 REVIEW MARK! OMFG! I'M SOOOO HAPPY RIGHT NOW :D :D :D :D**

**Fang: Will somebody PLEASE stop her?**

**MooMoo: I'm sorry B, but I have to agree.**

**Rawr: The screaming is getting a bit old.**

**Me: Where has the loyalty gone? Fang- what have you done to my pets?**

**Fang: Nothing. They just escaped your web of insanity.**

**Me: You're such a party pooper :P Anyway… I love you all so much! Thanks for making this story awesome :D **

**Fang: Wait… why aren't you over there babysitting your six year old cousin?**

**Me: Meh, Sister's watching her.**

**Fang: *jaw drop* **_**You're letting Sister be responsible for another human life?**_

**Me: Yup. Besides, I've been babysitting for over six hours, and there's still overnight to go. I need a break. Go watch her yourself if you're that concerned.**

**Fang: You are seriously messed up, B! Maybe I will! *stalks off***

**Me: Cha ching! Free money! Fact: Two nights ago, I went through and typed up a total of nine SYOC forms for different stories I'm doing in the future. It took forever!**

November 15, 2015

Max POV

That is it. THAT is IT! I've had it! I'm done. I am _so _DONE! I stomped down the stairs, stormed out of the house, and shot into the air. I flew up to airplane height, not caring where I was going.

I sighed when I saw a shadow in the edge of my vision. Fang. "Nudge is getting _out _of here!" I screamed at him.

He reached over and took my hand, which is pretty hard at 20,000 ft in the air. "Relax. It's halfway over. And besides, Iggy would just go with her, and then we'd all starve." he said softly, rubbing my hand with his thumb.

I rolled my eyes- I'm in the middle of a crisis, and he thinks about food. "You don't understand!" I pleaded desperately. "She has _got _to go! She's worse than Ella!" And it was true. If I had thought a hormonal Ella was bad, then I was stupider than someone trying to alphabetize M&Ms.

Nudge was constantly eating. Which, truth be told, wasn't _that_ bad. Especially since the chef was the one responsible for this mess. But then, then came the breakdowns.

Nudge would ask for something- a shirt from the laundry, or more shampoo. Then, when someone brought it to her, she would scream at them about how long it took. She would scream, scream, _scream_ until she was hoarse.

On the other hand, if someone brought her the wrong thing, or there was something wrong with whatever it was…. She made the terrible twos look like nap time. She would go into hysterics, sobbing and moaning constantly. She would soak the bed sheets, Iggy's shirt, her clothes- everything! She cried more in a week then the whole flock had in their life put together!

She was also _incredibly_ sensitive. Gazzy and I barely even talked to her anymore, because one little thing would set her off. We were watching Animal Planet, and in the show a lion killed a zebra. Big deal- we'd seen worse stuff at the School. But Nudge went _off_, wailing and howling for the "poor baby zebra". It took an hour for her to settle down, and then we had to watch High School Musical. I left the house.

"I know, I know. But we just have three more months. I'll be there for you, and we'll survive." Fang comforted me.

"But the last three months are the worst!" I wailed, refusing to be consoled. Fang started to say something, but I cut him off. "Look, Fang- go back to the house, I need some alone time. I'll come back later." Fang looked doubtful, but veered into a u turn.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Who is your celebrity crush? Mine's a tie between Jake Gyleenhal and Johnny Depp :3**

**Also- Thank you to zorua for being my 200th reviewer! I love you!**

**Also also... check out my new story Discovering FanFiction!**

I landed in the backyard, breathing hard. The only reason I had come back was because my stomach was making chainsaw noises at me, and I wanted some _food_!

I walked in through the front door, and bee-lined it for the kitchen. Grabbing a plate, I shoveled fried tilapia, butter beans, cherry jello, and french bread onto it. I sat next to Fang at the table, and dug in without a word.

Nudge, of course, was the first one to break the comfortable silence. "So, like, I was thinking. We should, like, go on a vacation! Like, wouldn't that be so, like, fantabulous? I mean, we could-" We all just tuned her out. No one dared tell her to shut up, or slap a hand over her mouth- she would start bawling. So we were use to non-stop Nudge Channel.

I started thinking about it. A vacation. Yea, that sounded nice… Lizzy and Tyler had never seen the Atlantic Ocean, or any big city except Phoenix. Maybe we could go to New York city, visit Coney Island. Or DC, and go to Ocean City…. And maybe in a few years we could go back to Disney World with the twins and Nudge's kid. WE could even invite Ella, my mom, Ian, and Jack! Maybe Ian's family, too….

My thoughts were interrupted by Nudge saying my name. "Max? Maax! I sa-aid, what do you think?" she asked, annoyed.

"Uh… yea. Yea, we should go on a vacation soon." I said with my mouth full.

Nudge glared at me. "Were you even listening to me? I was talking about what do you think of tomatoes- are they a fruit or a vegetable?" Gaping at her, I tried to think of how she got onto that subject. Nudge's glare faded, until the water works started. "No one listens to me!" she wailed, burying her head in her arms.

Everyone around the table, except Iggy, groaned. He was too whipped. "It's ok, honey. They were listening to you. Max… um… just doesn't know." he cooed, rubbing her heaving back. Rolling my eyes, I shoved away from the table, leaving half of my food untouched. Fang followed me into the living room, and sat next to me on the couch.

"See? This is ridiculous! She has got to leave!" I whisper shouted at him.

Fang stared at me until he was sure I was paying attention to him. But, all he did was kiss me. He studied my face, then kissed me again. And again, and again. "So," he started after a few more kisses, "what were you mad about?

I stared at the floor, trying to remember. "Um… Nudge? Uh… leaving?" Fang smirked, and kissed me hard- hard enough that I was dizzy from lack of oxygen when he pulled away. "And now?"

I gasped for breath, desperately trying to recall my argument. "Nudge!" Fang gently pushed me onto the couch, and hovered over me. He gave me three smoldering kisses. "Sure you still mad?"

Raking my brian, I was disappointed to find that I couldn't focus on being mad. "No." I sighed.

"Good. Because it's movie night, and it's Lizzy's turn to choose." I groaned. Great. Two hours of Mermaid Barbie.

**A/N: Me: There ya have it. The next chapter in the La Belle Vie chronicles :D It wasn't the best, but I'm distracted right now. Actually… it kind of sucked. But... today was my first day of school, so I have been pretty busy lately, as has my beta. So... I wanted to give you at least something.**

**Fang: OK. Your cousin is pretty cute, I'll give you that. But she has some… Sister like qualities. As in… insane.**

**MooMoo: You use the word insane-**

**Rawr: -a lot in this A/N's.**

**Fang: I can't help it that I'm surrounded by insane people all day.**

**Me: Well, you're just gonna have to deal with it. Mmk? Fact: My six year old cousin Caroline- who I'm babysitting- isn't actually related to me. Her mom- my Aunt Cathy- was my mom's best friend since first grade. So… she's family pretty much :)**

**Fang: Why is she so obsessed with Wii, Pokémon, and karate?**

**Me: Who knows. She's an only child, so probably from school or TV. **

**Fang: Yea, she gets enough bad habits from you guys.**

**Me: Shut up! *pout* Anyway, R&R please!**


	29. Christmas :D

**A/N: Me: Are you still mad at me Fang?**

**Fang: …. *nod***

**Me: Come on! It was a joke! It isn't a big deal!**

**Fang: …. *shakes head no***

**Me: Argh!**

**MooMoo: For those of you wondering, B and Sister made the whole flock as Mii's on their Wii. Including Jeb with his pedo-stache.**

**Rawr: But they were, at first, making Fang's Mii messed up and disproportionate. Then they proceeded to drive with Fang in Mario Kart and make fun of his driving skills.**

**Me: And he's being a big, sensitive pansy about it! **

**Fang: …. *shakes head no***

**Me: You're so difficult! Fact: For my Child Development class, my homework a few days ago was to write the alphabet. Twice. **

December 25, 2015

Max POV

Ever been woken up by two flying three year olds, a drooling one year old, a mind reading twelve year old, a farting 15 year old, a chattering 18 year old upcoming mom, an annoying 18 year old half-sister and her husband, and a screaming 21 year old blonde pyromaniac? Well, if you haven't had that luxury, then let me tell you: it sucks the big one.

I groaned as the clamor around me grew, and huddled under the safety of my blankets and pillow. I pulled the blankets all the way over my head, which was under my pillow, once Lizzy, Tyler, Angel, Gazzy, and Iggy jumped onto the bed. The were using it as a trampoline, singing Christmas carols at the top of their lungs.

"_Dashing through the snow, on a pair of broken skis, o'er the hills I go, bashing into trees! The snow is turning red, I think I'm almost dead, I don't I think I'll be able to put back on my head! Jingle bells, jingle bells, Santa Claus is dead! Barbie doll, Barbie doll shot him in the head! Teddy bear, teddy bear tried to save his life; but a G.I. Joe from Mexico stabbed him with a knife!_" I guess Iggy didn't know the real words.

I groaned again as Ella, my mom, and Nudge joined in the singing. At least Nudge and Ella couldn't jump on the bed because they were holding babies (well… in Ella's arm and in Nudge's… stomach).

"_Dashing through the sand, with a bomb strapped to my back; I have a nasty plan, for Christmas in Iraq! I got through checkpoint A, but not through checkpoint B, that's when I got shot in the a** by the US military! Jingle bombs, jingle bombs, mine blew up you see! __Where are all the virgins that Bin Laden promised me? Jingle bombs, jingle bombs; your soldiers shot me dead! The only thing that I have left is this towel upon my head. I used to be a man, but every time I cough; thanks to uncle Sam, my nuts keep falling off! My bombing days are done, I need to find some work; perhaps it would be much safer as a convenient store night clerk. Jingle bombs, jingle bombs, I think I got screwed. Don't laugh at me because I'm dead or I keel you!_" Iggy belted out.

The twins, the "adult" pyro, and the devil children kept bouncing on my bed, successfully bouncing me onto the floor. On top of Fang.

"Oh, hi. When did you get here?" I asked innocently, not getting off of him.

He gave me a dry look. "Off please."

"Isn't that what normally women say?" I snorted.

"Since when did you turn into Iggy?" I looked at Iggy, who was now running in a circle, holding hands with the twins, singing "_Deck the halls with gasoline, fa la la la la, la la la la! Light a match and watch it gleam, fa la la la la, la la la la! Burn the whole School down to ashes, fa la la la la la la la la!_" Ouch.

I gave Fang a stink eye before crawling to my feet. I stood and observed the scene in front of me. Gazzy and Angel (the aforementioned devil children) were still jumping on the bed. Iggy, Tyler, and Lizzy were still running in a circle. Ian was chilling by the door, laughing at everyone. Ella, Mom, and Nudge were chattering- yelling to be heard over all the noise. And Fang was just now getting up off the ground.

"SHADDUP!" I screamed. Everyone quieted down, watching me. Well… except for Iggy. He kept singing.

"Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree; your ornaments are history! I blew them up, with a big bomb; they flew around, and hit your mom! Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree, your ornaments are history!"

I stood there, hands on hips, glaring at him until he stopped his song. "You finished?" I asked. He smiled and nodded, looking pleased that he had managed to piss me off so early in the day.

I glared at everyone else in the room. "Why are you all in here?" They all looked at me like I was crazy. "What?" I spat.

"It's Chriiiiiiiiistmaaaaaaaaas!" Nudge sang out. And the celebration _in my room _started again.

Oh- I completely forgot about that. I glanced at the calendar hanging above the desk- yup. It was definitely Christmas morning. Lovely. I looked back at Fang- he still looked half asleep. He probably didn't even understand what was going on, poor sap. Time to mess with him.

"Hey Fang?" He wordlessly turned his face towards me. "You want to go get sterilized?" He squinted at me for a second, before slowly nodding, eyes unfocused. I couldn't help it- I cracked up. There was no way Fang would ever actually agree to that!

Now Fang was the only one not "celebrating", not that he actually would. As he woke up more and more, he was starting to get more and more irritated. Mostly because I refused to tell him what I was laughing at. But I'm not cruel- I only let that go on for another four minutes.

"Okay, okay- party's over. Go downstairs, everyone, Iggy make the usual, and _don't touch the presents!_" I yelled over the din. Slowly but surely, they all filed out, leaving me with Fang.

Walking over to my dresser to get my clothes, I casually said, "So… when do you want me to make that sterilization appointment Fang?"

"_What_?" he yelped, a pair of jeans half on. Ah- so he didn't remember. Perfect.

"You know- the one you agreed to get about 10 minutes ago?" I insisted, taking out a pair of jeans and a hokey holiday t-shirt.

"Ok- I might have been a _little _tired, but not that tired! No way! No. Way." he said stiffly, pulling on a shirt as he left the room. I started giggling after he had left. He was just so fun to mess with.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Are you an early bird or a night owl? I am most definitely **_**not **_**a morning person. :P**

I clapped my hands loudly, trying- in vain- to get everybody's attention. When that didn't work, I yelled out "PRESENT TIME!" Of course, _then _everyone was in a mad dash to get into the living room.

I looked in dismay at our dining room table. I was covered, form one end to the other, with plates, silverware, food, napkins, drinks, and spills. The traditional Christmas morning breakfast- custom made omelets, bacon, sausage biscuits, toast, English muffins, juice, yogurt, and hash browns- never failed to make a huge mess. Which I usually ended up cleaning. Alone.

Fang and I walked at a more sane pace, and we found everyone squished around the tree. Ella (with Jack), Nudge, and my Mom were on the couch- Ian was standing behind it. Angel was sitting with the twins in front of the tree, the dogs at her feet. Gazzy was sitting eagerly on the edge of the armchair, and Iggy was pacing around the tree.

"It took you long enough!" Iggy shouted when we entered the room. He immediately began throwing presents at everyone, even before Fang and I had sat on the loveseat. I flicked my wrist up to catch a present before it beamed me in the face.

Everyone immediately tried to open their presents. "Hold up!" I shouted. Wow- at this point I was going to lose my voice. Stupid big family. "One present at a time, show it to everyone,_ then_ move on to the next one." Everyone groaned, and I heard a whispered "Party pooper!". Probably from Iggy. Just in case, I threw my slipper at his head.

I tore into my first present- it was from Nudge. Inside, there was a sparkly, handmade, long scarf. It was pink, purple, and white. It had glitter everywhere. I would never wear it. "Thanks, Nudge!" I gushed anyway. She beamed in response, holding up her new ultra modern, steel and black alarm clock from Mom. I laughed with her- it seemed so long ago that she broke her old one while we thought Iggy was dying.

Beside me, Fang chuckled at the hand drawn picture of me, him, and the twins, signed 'Lizzy'. "This goes on the fridge." he called to her. She didn't hear, since she and Tyler were too enthralled with their new paint by the number books from Ella and Ian.

"Aw, cool!" Iggy yelled. He held up his new t-shirt and hoodie set, courtesy of _moi_. The black t-shirt said 'Meat is Murder. Tasty, Flame Broiled Murder'. The blue hoodie said 'The police never think it's as funny as you do'. I figured that since he could see now, I'd get him something funny to look at.

"Sweet!" Gazzy said, examining the complex electronic device… thing in front of him. "Man, we can get so many wires and circuits outta this thing!" he exclaimed. Iggy nodded vigorously.

"I thought you could use it in some way." Angel smiled. In her lap was the scrapbook kit from Fang. It had stickers, glitter, stencils, markers, pens, colored paper, glue, tape, staples, photo tabs, and an actual book.

Ella and Ian were fawning over their new recipe books form Iggy. Let's just say that they weren't the most imaginative cooks, and Iggy had a few that he didn't use anymore. Ian was also holding the new cradle for Jack that Gazzy had made out of wood.

My mom thanked Tyler for the painting he had made her. It was nothing special- he had taken a rainbow of different paints, and splattered them against a black piece of paper. But, of course, as a parent you're obligated to enjoy the little things.

It continued this way, each person getting nine presents- one from everyone. The 'one present at a time' policy- plus thanking, teasing, talking, and laughing- took us way past lunch, and halfway into the afternoon. Once we ate a quick lunch of sandwiches and chips (three loaves of bread and five bags of chips- you know it!), we went outside.

My mom, Ella, and Nudge sat on the porch swing, just watching us fool around. Since it was Arizona, we didn't even need a jacket or shoes. Sure, it was a cooler 65 instead of the usually 100, but nowhere near snow.

We decided to play a game of flock manhunt. The rules are very complex, and the game takes up a good amount of time. **(A/N: Me: I'll go into detail about this game later in another chapter). **And the fact that it was still daylight (well.. it was getting close to dusk) made it that much more challenging and exciting.

We were out there for a couple hours, only stopping because were we starving, and Gazzy had already tried to eat Fang's arm. Literally. Like, Fang's arm has some teeth marks and bruises on it. He was _not _too happy about that.

Iggy and my mom made a totally delicious ham(s), along with baked beans, mixed veggies, rolls, and rice. My mouth was watering the entire time they were making it, and this time Gazzy tried to eat Angel's arm. She was pissed as well.

After we ate, Jack and the four youngest bird kids went off to bed. That left the adults (which is a loose term when describing Iggy) sitting around the living room, talking about nothing, drinking hot chocolate. What? It's never too warm for hot chocolate!

"Well, would you look at that- mistletoe!" Iggy said, deceptively innocent. I followed his gaze upwards, and sure enough, there was mistletoe _everywhere_. As in- every square inch if the ceiling had a piece of mistletoe hanging form it. My mom winked and walked into the kitchen, and I could've hit her.

Nudge and Iggy wasted no time in making out- they were practically glued together. I bet Iggy put up all of the mistletoe so that he and Nudge could make out wherever. Ella and Ian kissed sweetly, but even they got sucked into tongue wrestling. Geesh. Aren't hormones supposed to go away?

I got my answer as soon as Fang leaned in to kiss me. Nope- they're still there, and in full flame, too. I crushed my body against his, and sat in his lap. I twisted knots in his hair with my fingers, and his hands were on my back, under my shirt.

My wings shivered as the kiss got deeper, the sound of feathers rustling the only other noise besides face sucking. I moaned slightly, the sound embarrassing me to no end. I abruptly pulled away, my face flaming.

Fnag had this smug smirk on his face, as if he was happy that he could do that to me. Iggy and Ian both were laughing at me, and even my sister and "sister" were giggling!

"Enjoying yourself, are we, Max?" Iggy said, wiggling his eyebrows. I huffed and pushed off the couch. I stomped into my room, jumping into my bed. I was not going to be nice to Fang when he got up here. Unfortunately, my plan was ruined. Fnag knew me too well, and didn't come up for another half hour. By that time, I was not mad anymore, and I wanted more kisses!

The only sound he made was opening the door, and then he was there. "So… Nudge and Iggy are still making out, and your mom and company went home. What do you want to do?"

I answered him with a peck on the lips, and we continued from where we left off. Best. Christmas. Ever.

**A/N: Me: Are you gonna talk yet?**

**Fang: …. *shakes head no***

**Me: *huff* I don't like you!**

**Fang: *shrug***

**MooMoo: They fixed your Mii so it looks normal.**

**Rawr: And they stopped using you in Mario Kart,**

**Fang: …. *sha-**

**Me: Yea, yea, yea- *shakes head no* Is that all you do?**

**Fang: …. *shakes head no***

**Me: AAAAAAHHHHHH! *whacks with weasel***

**Fang: *thump* **

**Me: Fact: My favorite subs come from Subway- cheddar cheese and turkey. Plain. And that's it. No condiments. Also- I updated Discovering FanFiction- go read it! Aaaaaand- Killing Dylan is back! Wooooo! I posted a chapter yesterdays- now go read it! And… review review review review review review review review all of these stories!**


	30. There's a New Baby!

**A/N: Me: Look who's visiting today!**

**Fang: Oh, crap.**

**Sister: IT'S MMMMEEEE!**

**Me: …. Alright then. I promised I would let her visit in an A/N the next time I wrote one. And here she is.**

**Fang: Why would you do that?**

**Me: To annoy the crap outta you.**

**Sister: Well Fangy boy get used to it 'cause sissy here actually said I can be in any one I want to be in. SUCKER!**

**Fang: *death glare* There's a special place in h*** for people like you. Both of you, actually. Yours is just deeper, Sister.**

**Sister: Actually, I CHECKED the levels there. There's only 7. I'm probably hovering at 26 layers now…**

**Me, MooMoo, Rawr, and Fang: O.o **

**Sister: Yeah, there is probably a layer for each mortal sin you commit. So there's those 4 people in New York; then probably an average of 2 people per mental asylum I had to kill, so about 16 people there (8 mental asylums, each had really tight security when I was there….); then 5 people in that company I robbed; then that person that's currently under my bed- I mean that person I killed for trying to burn and take over Cow City, home of the rabid cows….**

**MooMoo: 8?**

**Rawr: Rabid Cow City?**

**Me: …. This is why you're not allowed in my notes more often. Anyway… Fact: I got licked by a bunny in my Pre Vet class :D :D :D**

January 17, 2016

Iggy POV

Nudge and I were hanging out in the backyard, having our own little picnic. No one else was invited. This bacon was for me. I mean us.

It wasn't a real picnic, considering we didn't have a basket/blanket/anything else to eat but bacon. But hey- bacon's all you need. And hookers. But alas, I'm a married man now, so I must give up that temptation. At least I have bacon. Oh, and Nudge.

"So, Iggy, I was thinking about baby names. I mean, if it's a girl we could name her Rose Crystal Lily Marigold, or Isabella Ruby Julia Jade! Or, if it's a boy, we could name him Julius Sam Kevin, or maybe Marcus Freddy Adam Thomas! Ooooh how do you like the name Har-" I hated to cover up Nudge's pretty face now that I could see it, but once she gets on baby names, Bacon knows when she'll stop.

"Nudge, honey, I thought we agreed on choosing only two names for the baby." I said softly, stroking her cheek.

She pouted adorably. "But I can't pick! They're all so nice!" I chuckled, tapping her wrinkled nose.

"Fax-" my brilliantly thought of nick name for the other married couple in the house, "-chose just two names. Most people do. So can you." She looked like she was going to object, but she smiled a tiny bit.

"Am I just being silly?" she asked, blushing. I nodded, trying to look my serious-est. She sighed. "Alright, two names. Um…." she stroked her invisible beard.

I waited for a couple minutes, just twirling a piece of her hair around my finger. Eventually, I got tired of waiting. I grabbed her face and kissed her, hard.

Kissing Nudge was, obviously, one baconth percent better now that I could see. I could see the heat in her cheeks, her soft lips, her fluffy hair, her shining eyes, her big-

What? I was going to say… ears….

Nudge pulled away, gasping for breath. She giggled and poked my side. "You, mister, don't play fair."

I feigned hurt. "What? Why would you say that?"

"Because you don't want to hear my ideas for baby names so that you can name our baby 'Bacon', or some other weird name." she accused, grinning. Darn, she knew about my baby name choice.

I pretended to be mad. "I would never! You don't play fair! Seducing me with your hot-as-bacon-ness!" I poked her back.

Nudge laughed, the sound tinkling in my sensitive ears. "Yea? Well, I-" She was cut off by a sudden gasp of pain. "Oh, dear lord- I think something's happening!" she wheezed, holding her stomach.

I watched, concerned. "What's wrong?" She didn't answer for a few moments. Then she sat up.

"Huh. Guess it was nothing." she said, shrugging. I nodded, but kept a close eye on her.

"So what were you saying?" I asked.

"Oh yeah! Well I think that yo-" she gasped again. "Oof! Iggy… I think it's the baby." she ground out.

I sat there, staring. "What… is it… like… kicking you?"

"No…." Nudge said slowly.

I started to worry again. "Is something wrong with it?"

"Oh for lord's sake…." she muttered. "THE BABY'S COMING, IDIOT!" she screamed.

It took a few seconds for that to sink in. "OH MY BACON THE BABY'S COMING! OOOOHHHH BACON!" I jumped up, hauled Nudge to her feet, and rushed her inside the house.

"Max, Fang, all you other peoples- THE BABY'S COMING!" There was a thunderous noise as six avian Americans pounded down the stairs. I set Nudge down on the couch as I remembered something. "Be right back!" I said, running back out the door.

I ran over to our picnic area and grabbed the plate of bacon, eating it on the way back through the house. No sense in letting that going to waste.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Who is/are your fictional crush(es)? Mine would be Fang (obviously), Legolas (I never thought Orlando Bloom was attractive at all. Then I saw him in a blonde wig and elf ears….), and… honestly… Edward Cullen. DON'T JUDGE! In my head as I read the books for the first time, I imagined someone really gorgeous. Then came Robert Pattinson… EWWWW. **

We decided to fly to the hospital, as we didn't actually have a car. The nearest car available was a mile or two away at Dr. M's house. So, Angel called her from the air as we flew towards the hospital.

I, being the chivalrous husband I am, was carrying Nudge, of course. It slowed me down a bit, but I was still flying pretty fast, if I do say so myself.

We touched down in the parking lot in front of the hospital, rushing in. I walked straight past the desk, ignoring the lady's shouts, and went straight into the birthing hallway.

I dumped Nudge- gently, of course- into an open room on the bed, and waited for the doctor.

He came in, followed by three nurses, thirty seconds later, the Flock close behind them. Max and Fang smiled encouragingly at us, while Angel and Gazzy looked excited.

I cringed as I saw Nudge moan in pain, and twist around on the bed. I squeezed her hand. "I'm right here, Nudgie."

The delivery took about an hour, longer than anyone else's. Nudge, true to her nature, kept up a constant stream of words. Most of which were not even remotely close to appropriate. I heard her curse in five separate languages, one of which was an African dialect consisting of clicks and whistles.

Max eventually told Fang to remove Lizzy and Tyler from the premises, as "Auntie Nudge" was being a _very _bad example right now.

Once she was finished, she lay limp on the bed, breathing hard. I stroked her sweaty forehead. With my left hand. I had stupidly held hers in my dominant right hand, which was promptly pulverized into dust from constant and outstanding pressure.

"You did it. I'm so proud of you!" I whispered. She smiled weakly at me, before closing her eyes and resting. I just sat there and watched her, cradling what used to be my right hand. Which hurt like bacon.

The doctor came out of the side room a few minutes later. "Mr…. um… Iggy?" he said. I nodded. "It's nothing serious, not at all, but we need to keep your son-" Yes! A boy! I can teach him everything he needs to know about life! "- for a couple days. He's perfectly fine. But we need to observe him."

I went cold. "Why?" I said hoarsely.

"Well, he swallowed and inhaled some amniotic fluid. It isn't fatal, and won't cause any lasting damage, but we need to keep him here first."

I nodded numbly. I prayed to bacon that he would be fine.

**A/N: Me: Don't kill me! I'm not going to kill the little boy, so don't throw stuff at me! *hides behind Fang***

**Fang: What are you doing?**

**Me: Using you as a human shield.**

**Fang: Whoa, no no no no no no no! Some of these Fan Fiction people are crazy!**

**Me: Fine. *pouts* Jerk. But, there you had a peek into the bacon-obsessed mind of Iggy.**

**MooMoo: And what a strange place that is.**

**Rawr: Agreed.**

**Fang: With Iggy, it's always better not to ask.**

**Me: True, true. Fact: ****So for the past week I've been re-reading LOTR The Fellowship of the Ring (it is frickin long!). For the past few days I've been watching all of the movies. Then, for the past three days, I've been thinking about/"writing" about Lord of the Rings. Then last night I started dreaming about LOTR. **_**Mon dieu.**_

**Fang: You're obsessed.**

**Me: Again. *sigh* So many good series/stories, so little time. I want ten reviews, please! Upping the ante! So go at it!**


	31. No Wings

_**SO I LITERALLY JUST FRICKING FORGOT TO POST THIS CHAPTER LAST NIGHT. SO HERE IT IS, A DAY LATE. WHATEVER. AND FENIASOL- RAWR IS THE T-REX, AND MOOMOO IS THE PLATYPUS :)**_

**A/N: Me: Hola, peeps! It's currently… 8:45 on a Sunday night, and instead of studying for my AP Us History test tomorrow-**

**Fang: Which you're going to fail.**

**Me: This is true- I'm updating all of my stories! Yay for procrastination!**

**MooMoo: Yay!**

**Rawr: Meh, I'll cheer later.**

**Me: I see what you did there!**

**Fang: Haha so funny. Can we get on with the story so we can go to bed?**

**Me: Aren't we pushy? Fact: I suck at painting my nails. Like, it takes me an hour because I keep having to fix mistakes. :P**

February 2, 2016 (one of my brother's b-day!)

Max POV

I was sitting next to Nudge in the hospital living room, biting my nails. My nephew was due to go home today, and the whole flock (and my family) wanted to be there.

We had no idea how Ben (the baby) was. All we knew was that it was the boy, and the name Nudge chose for it. It was supposed to go home three days after he was born, or January 20. But they kept keeping him and keeping him, for almost two weeks. It was driving us all crazy, as you can imagine.

Iggy and Nudge were frantic, this being their first and only child. They didn't leave the hospital, even after Nudge was all healed up and ready to go. They stayed there, for two weeks straight, waiting for news.

The doctors kept assuring us that he was fine, and that they just wanted to run tests on him and make sure he was fine, and how the avian DNA had some interesting properties. Of course, we knew that all along. We knew that if the doctors had a chance to study one of us, they would. Even a newborn. Science sickened me.

We leaped up as a doctor entered the waiting room, but it wasn't Dr. Berger. Nudge sat back down with a soft sigh, worry permanently etched on her face.

Fang out his arm around my shoulder as we sat together on two connected seats. Fang had, not surprisingly, offered to stay with me these past couple days. We left the twins in the (hopefully) capable hands of Angel and Gazzy.

"I really hope he's doing ok." I whispered softly. Fang nodded, stroking my wingtip underneath my shirt. Nudge and Iggy were holding hands, each engrossed in their own thoughts.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Favorite seafood? I love tilapia and crab legs.**

_**CHECK OUT MY SYOC FOR MY NEW LORD OF THE RINGS/MR STORY! GO SUBMIT SOMETHING! DO IT! NOW! GO!**_

It only took a few more minutes until I reached my (now daily) cracking point. I marched up to the front desk and rang the bell to get the lady's attention. She was too busy o the phone, talking to her boyfriend about a movie on Friday.

When she continued to ignore me, I reached over the desk and poked her on the shoulder. Hard.

She hung up and glared at me. "Can I help you?" she asked snidely, giving me a once over.

I decided to go for sweet. For now. "Yes, I'd like to see Dr. Berger. Now."

"He's busy." she intoned boredly, turning towards her computer.

Bye bye, Mrs. Sweet Girl. Grabbing her shoulder, I growled "Listen here. I need to see Dr. Berger. _Now._ I _know_ he's not busy, because he's had no calls over the speakers for three hours. I should know- I've been here. So if you don't get him in here_ right now_, I'll dislocate your bones so fast you'll wonder what happened."

She lost her glare, paled a bit, and hurriedly made a call for him over the speakers. "Thank you!" I said, smiling sweetly. She nodded hastily and bent over her computer.

It wasn't long before Dr. Berger came whistling through the doors to the examination rooms. He saw us in there, ad quickly turned around. I ran up to him and grabbed his arm. "Doc- when is Ben gonna go home?" I asked, tightening my grip on his shoulder. These people were gonna drive me insane.

"Uh, actually, he's, um, all ready to go!" he responded quickly, leading me down the hall. I sighed in relief- finally!

I followed him down all the twists and turns in the hallway, the white walls, white coats, and white floors making me queasy. We finally got to the New Born unit, which was abundant in crying. Ugh.

He led me into a room filled with cradles, pointing at one in the middle row, at the very end. I walked over to him, looking forward to bringing him back to Nudge. I saw that he had on a cute, tiny blue hat, and was wrapped in a baby blue blanket. Picking him up, cooing how cute he was, I was filled with happiness.

He had Nudge's dark brown curly hair, sitting on the very top of his head. He had Iggy's bright blue, piercing eyes. He wasn't African American, but he wasn't pale either. He looked like a perpetually tan boy. He was gonna be a lady killer.

The only problem was, when I unraveled the blanket to check on the state of his wings, they weren't there.

**A/N: Me: Short, I know, but it's an intro to another short drama filled section.**

**Fang: *snore***

**MooMoo: *snore***

**Rawr: *snore***

**Me: Oh… I'm the only one awake…. Fact: It takes me about twenty minutes to take a shower.**

**Fang: *snore***

**Me: Aw… he looks cute right now. He's all curled up on top of the desk, next to the printer. His arms are tucked into his chest, and he's using his wings as a blanket. He doesn't look all emo and depressed when he sleeps.**

**Fang: *SNORE* **

**Me: Too bad he snores so fricking loud. *pokes with a stick***

**Fang: AAAHHH! *falls onto floor* Owwwwwwww.**

**Me: You snore too loud.**

**Fang: Have I said lately that I hate you? Ouch, that hurt!**

**Me: Actually you have. R&R people! We only got eight reviews last time. I know there's more than eight people reading this. SO REVIEW OR DIE!**


	32. A Visitor

**A/N: Me: I'm gonna ignore the fact that we didn't get to 237 reviews. But seriously guys. Come on. That was even an interesting chapter. We can do better.**

**Fang: Quit whining.**

**Me: *glare* You're just grumpy 'cause I took away your music.**

**Fang: My dinky little iPod nano is the only thing you let me have, of course I'll be mad when you take it from me!**

**Me: Then maybe next time you shouldn't be so mean to Chloe.**

**Fang: She was trying to eat me!**

**Me: She was just playing with you!**

**Fang: *holds up arm* Scratching me almost down to the bone is not **_**playing**_**! **

**Me: You're just a pansy. Fact: Remember that AP US History test I said I was gonna fail last week? Well, I did. I got a 52%. First time I've ever failed a test in my life.**

**Fang: Haha.**

**Me: Shut up- you wouldn't last a day in that class.**

February 2, 2016 (same day, in case you couldn't tell)

Max POV

I shakily wrapped Ben back up in the blanket. I didn't know what to do- one of us… without wings? How? Why? Lizzy and Tyler were born with wings….

Then I got a little bit of coherent thought- what if it wasn't natural? What if one of these monsters cut them off? What if they had practically dissected him? I started to see red, and put Ben down so I wouldn't hurt him as my fists balled up. I was going to kill them. I was going to kill them all.

I stormed out of the room and down the hall, not really caring where I was going. "Dr. Berger!" I roared, trying to find him. A couple nurses tried to get me to calm down, but I either trampled them or punched them. I'm not really sure.

He peeked out of a room- I saw it was his office- and quickly shut the door. Unfortunately for him, he was dealing with a _very_ angry Max. I slammed the door open and crossed the room in two steps. Grabbing his collar, I snarled "Where are his wings?"

He looked appropriately panicked. "I don't know what you're talking about!" he gibbered.

Growling, I thrust open my wings. "These, you idiot! Where. Are. _Ben's_?"

The doctor's eyes widened as he saw my sixteen foot wingspan filling his office. "I-I-I didn't kn-n-now he had w-w-wings!" he stammered.

I stared hard into his eyes, wings bristling, trying to discern the truth. Unfortunately, I saw that he really didn't know anything. Thinking back, I guess I didn't really see any scars or blood on him.

I let go of the doctor, laying my wings flat against my back again. "Then why…." I whispered. Looking at the doctor, I tried to find reason as to why an Avian-American didn't have wings.

The doctor backed into the far wall. "I don't know! I don't know where his wings are, or why they aren't there! Just, please, go away!" I numbly listened, wandering down the halls until I found the nursery.

Picking up Ben, trying not to think of his smooth and flat back, I wound my way into the waiting room. As soon as I walked through, all seven of the flock jumped up at my expression. Fnag, of course, was the first one over.

"What happened? Is he okay?" he whispered, touching my cheek. I nodded, keeping my eyes on my shoes. "Max…." He gently forced my head up to look at my face.

"What are we waiting for? Let us see Ben!" Nudge came barreling over. Fang jumped sideways to avoid being completely run over.

"Nudge, wa-" was all I got out before she pulled Ben away, and unwrapped him to look at him.

"Oh, Iggy, look at his eyes! He has your eyes! And, aww, look at his curly little hair! And- wait…." her rambling trailed off. Her eyes widened, and Iggy's brow furrowed.

"Max. Where are his wings?" Iggy whispered. I swallowed hard, and a tear leaked out.

It meant more than being different, not having wings. It meant that he couldn't fly. And that meant he couldn't travel with his family, learn it's utter joy, or be with his nature.

Sure, for the first chunk of his life we could carry him. But soon he would get too big, too big for anyone to carry him for any long period of time. And then what would happen? He would sit on the sidelines while we had flying fun? He would be stuck with ground travel while we soared above him?

And what if someone like Dr. Mathias showed up again, and we had to _leave_? Where would Ben go? He wouldn't be able to fly with us, be able to go where ever was necessary. We would have to stay and be in danger, or leave him behind. Impossible choices for a terrible life.

"Oh, Ben." Nudge whispered, tears on her cheeks. Still in their chairs, Angel, Gazzy, Tyler, and Lizzy watched with wide eyes. Angel's eyes swam with tears as she read my mind, understanding the horrible predicament that was happening.

None of us knew what to do for him, and it was heartbreaking.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your favorite video game? I love MarioKart, Cooking Mama, and Guitar Hero. **

_**CHECK OUT MY NEW STORY I'M POSTING THIS WEEKEND- MY BETA IS SIERRA156, AND IT'S LORD OF THE RINGS MIXED WITH MR. SO READ IT!**_

Nudge had run up to her room with Ben as soon as we landed in the yard. Iggy quickly followed after her, muttering about emotions and bacon. Tyler and Lizzy scattered to go watch Tom and Jerry in the basement, and Angel and Gazzy had another double date with Hanna and Matt. That left Fang and I.

"Fang- what are we gonna do?" I whispered, feeling like I was going to cry again.

Fang pulled me onto his lap on the couch, and hugged me tight. "Maybe we won't have to do anything. Maybe they'll grow in."

I refused to be comforted so easily. "But Lizzy and Tyler were born with them."

He shrugged. "Maybe he won't grow too big and we could carry him."

"It still wouldn't be the same without wings." I muttered into his chest.

We sat like that for a long time- me curled up into him, him stroking my hair and feathers. I don't know how long- long enough for Lizzy and Tyler to come running up the steps asking questions, for Iggy and Nudge to re-emerge from their room, and for Angel and Gazzy to come back from their date.

No one mentioned Ben or the wing issue- I think we were all trying to ignore it. We ate dinner- grilled tilapia, peas, jello, and mashed potatoes- in silence, Nudge getting up half way through to tend to a crying Ben.

At exactly 7:35, a knock sounded on our door. I looked at Fang, who raised his eyebrow. We ever get visitors, and Ella or Ina or my mom don't knock. I looked at Angel, and she had a shocked look on her face. That's never good.

I snuck up to the door, staying low so no one could see through the peep-hole. I peered up through the hole, just with the top of my head, and gasped in shock. Stumbling backwards, I opened the door.

"Hello, Max. Long time no see."

**A/N: Me: HAHA CLIFFY! Sorry if it was a bit rushed and/or poorly written- the dump-ton of planning for my new story is distracting me. Poor Ben :(**

**Fang: Hey! I want my iPod back!**

**MooMoo: But you didn't apologize for throwing that book at Chloe.**

**Rawr: So shut up pansy.**

**Fang: How am I supposed to apologize to a fricking cat? I hate all of you.**

**Me: You would, emo.**

**Fang: JHASUYSAHDIUWEUYIIYONE!**

**Me: Was that even English? Fact: I didn't have school today! Yay lots of typing!**

**Fang: *angry emo silence***

**Me: Talk to the hand Fang. Okay, R&R peoples! I really would like ten reviews this chapter! Pwetty please!**


	33. Wings?

**A/N: Me: HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN HALLOWEEN!**

**Fang: SHUT UP IT'S NOT FOR ANOTHER MONTH!**

**Me: SO? It's like my favorite time of the year!**

**MooMoo: Better than Christmas?**

**Rawr: "The most wonderful time of the year"?**

**Me: Totally. **

**Fang: Why? Christmas equals presents!**

**Me: Halloween equals 1) FREE CANDY! 2) Haunted houses :D 3) Gory makeup and costumes 4) All nighters eating said free candy 5) Better weather (the falling leaves and crispness betters the creepy atmosphere) 6) Everything creepy and gory.**

**Fang: You have valid points, but it's still **_**Christmas**_**!**

**Me: HALLOWEEN FTW! STFU! Fact: Well… I think you can already tell what mine was :3 And sorry for the cliffhanger… especially Sierra156 XD: **

**F*CK YOU!**

**NOT ANOTHER CLIFFIE!**

**GODD*MIT!**

**I HATE YOU!**

February 3, 2016

Max POV

At exactly 7:35, a knock sounded on our door. I looked at Fang, who raised his eyebrow. We ever get visitors, and Ella or Ian or my mom don't knock. I looked at Angel, and she had a shocked look on her face. That's never good.

I snuck up to the door, staying low so no one could see through the peep-hole. I peered up through the hole, just with the top of my head, and gasped in shock. Stumbling backwards, I opened the door.

"Hello, Max. Long time no see."

I was speechless. "Jeb?" **(A/N: Me: Sgt. Sporky actually knew who it was… I have no idea how… *pout*)** Well, almost. This is me we're talking about, here. He nodded to me and pushed inside the house, walking towards the living room. "Sure, come on in." I muttered, shutting the front door.

Following the spawn of all evil into _my_ house, I couldn't help but wonder how he knew where we were living. I mean, sure, we'd invited him to weddings, but that's only because of tradition and crap. I mean… how much of a pedophile stalker is he, hunting us down to find out where we lived?

Everyone looked up at him in surprise- especially Tyler and Lizzy, because they had never seen him before (that they could remember). Even so, he addressed them. "Hello, Tyler. Hello, Lizzy." They just stared at him.

"Who are you?" Lizzy asked, ever inquisitive. Brat.

"Well, I'm your gran-"

"OK, Jeb, I'm sure we all want to know why you're here." I said bluntly, cutting him off. There was no way in h*ll that I was letting this f*cktard here just waltz right in and proclaim himself gramps. Nope.

He gave me an annoyed look, just like the old days. Except his pedo-stache looked even creepier now. "It was brought to my attention by some… associates that there was a child born… without his wings."

I immediately grew even more suspicious of his sudden arrival. We never knew- and still don't know- which side Jeb played ball for. So to hear that he had pretty much spied on us raised him from a ten to a fifteen on my suspicious scale of one to ten.

"So what if there is?" I asked petulantly, raising an eyebrow.

"I can fix that." he stated bluntly.

….Ok. I'm a very used-to-weird-and-crazy girl. I mean, that describes my whole life. But this one threw me for a loop.

"Wha-?" was my intelligent reply.

Jeb exhaled quickly, as if impatient with me. Lord knows why- he was always one for theatrics and smoke-and-mirrors. "I have helped to develop a procedure that increases the strength of the avian genes in the body so that wings may form."

I couldn't believe it. I mean, here we are, moping about how Ben would never have a full life, and then in comes Jeb, whistling Dixie and singing about growing wings. Well… not literally… but you get my point.

"'May'?" Fang said. Whoops- he said _may_. That's also never good.

"Well… there may be some… well, one really… complication."

"Which would be…." I growled.

Jeb glared at me. "There is a chance- a very small one, mind you- that it could cause spinal cord mutations and cause permanent paralysis. But if we're going to do this thing, it has to be done soon. As in… before tomorrow." he explained.

Crap. I'm the leader, I'm supposed to make these kind of decisions. Risk paralysis, so that he can fly with us? Ugh… sometimes I hate my life.

"Wait." Nudge interjected, speaking for the first time. We all turned to her, sitting there, holding Ben. "Don't we get a say?" Iggy nodded, playing with Ben's little curls.

Yes! Decision is off of Max!

"Well, of course." Jeb said.

Nudge sat there in thought for a minute, her brow furrowed, and Jeb was getting antsy, I could tell. He opened his mouth to say something, and Iggy held up a finger. He and Nudge were having a silent conversation, much the same as Fang and I did all the time.

Finally Nudge looked at me. "We'll do it." I nodded- that's what I'd expected.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your favorite holiday? I'm **_**pretty **_**sure you figured out mine already.**

I was the only one allowed in the "operating room"- the dining room- while Jeb did the surgery stuff. Something about crowding him and sanitation. Crap- we were doing it on the dining room table for Pete's sake!

Basically, what he did was make a small cut (about half a foot) down Ben's back, over the spine. He spread the skin apart, and exposed the spine. It was nasty, let me tell you.

He then did all this techy stuff- made incisions in certain places, sewed things back up differently, removed thing all together, I couldn't make heads or tail of it.

Finally, he injected all this weird stuff into him- some thick goopy blue stuff, green stuff that looked like pea soup, and something clear that fizzled in the needle.

He sewed his back up, wiped everything down, then stood back. Wiping his brow, he said, "Now… we wait."

**A/N: Me: I know, I know- predictable and short. But next chapter we'll find out what happens!**

**Fang: He dies.**

**Me: Does not!**

**Fang: Does too.**

**Me: DOES NOT! Don't listen to him, he's crazy!**

**MooMoo: It's true.**

**Rawr: You should hear his sleep talk.**

**Fang: Do not!**

**Me: You do- you talk about Max, Shakira, rabid cows, and one time I heard-**

**Fang: *throws hand over mouth* That's enough for you! Anyway, Fact: B has her first job at a haunted house this month, and she's SUPER AMAZINGLY AWEOSMELY EXCITED for it. Her words, not mine. She was squealing and bouncing everywhere.**

**MooMoo: R&R please!**

**Rawr: 10 reviews please!**

**Me: *bite hand* Byee!**


	34. It Worked!

**A/N: Me: I'm too tired and depressed to have a fun greeting.**

**Fang: Dare I ask why?**

**MooMoo: No Fa-**

**Rawr: Do-**

**Me: *deep breath* I have school tomorrow I have a current event due on Friday I don't know how I did on my last quiz my work was cancelled yesterday I didn't know it was cancelled until I drove all the way there it's raining and 45 out it's gonna be that weather for a whole week I start teaching preschoolers in Child Development on Tuesday I'm kind of bored and my new story needs more reviews!**

**Fang: *snore* Sorry, what?**

**Me: **_**So **_**not in the mood, Fang. Don't push it.**

**Fang: *zips lips shut***

**Me: Argh. Me not happy. Fact: When I take a shower, it takes me like twenty-five minutes, ten of which is spent shaving my legs -.- .**

**Fang: Yea, she hogs half of the bathrooms in the house the whole time!**

**Me: There's only two!**

**Fang: EXACTLY!**

March 17, 2016

Max POV

Today's the day. The big one. The one we've been waiting for. And all the other nonsensical stuff famous people blab.

"Why, Max," you say, "is today the day that you win the lottery?"

Well, if you did say that, I have two things to say to you. One, no. Two, where the f*ck have you been for the past… six weeks?

Today was that day that Ben was supposed to start his wing growth.

_Flashback_

_ Jeb sewed Ben's back up, wiped everything down, then stood back. Wiping his brow, he said, "Now… we wait."_

_ I nodded, a bit queasy from all the needles. Blood? No problem. Spines sticking out of a persons back? Fine. Needles filled with weird stuff that could be meant to torture me? Um… no thanks._

_ Jeb packed up his stuff and walked out of the room. I followed him. "That's it? Surgery and then leave? You don't have any fortune cookie crap or instructions or anything for us?"_

_ Jeb whirled around in the foyer, his coat almost smacking Lizzy in the head from where she was spying in the living room. She doesn't understand that she's invisible, but she forgot to make her cookie invisible too._

_ "Well, wing growth should start in about six weeks. Until then, be very careful with him- no letting him crawl about and tear open his stitches. The wings will be small at first, but by the time he is old enough to fly they will be proficient." _

_ He swept through the door, calling goodbyes over his shoulder. I closed the door, shaking my head. Crazy b*st*rd._

We were all waiting in Nudge and Iggy's room. I noticed that space in this house was getting a bit tight. I mean, we had six bedrooms, but we were going to need more soon. We had Fang and I, the twins, Angel, Gazzy, Nudge and Iggy and Ben, and a guest room. So… Ben was gonna need his own room, and then if Gazzy and Angel… you know….

While I was contemplating this and other meanings of life (yeah, right) Fang came over and wrapped his arms around me, like Iggy was doing with Nudge. Except I'm pretty sure Iggy was feeling her up, unlike Fa- wait… there it is. Thanks Fang.

I turned around and lightly slapped him. "Not in front of the children!" Lizzy and Tyler giggled, having no clue what was going on. Hopefully. You can never know with Iggy around.

The moment we heard Ben giggle and move, Nudge swooped down and picked him up. She set him on the table and lifted up his onesie. We all gasped when we saw his back.

**A/N: Me: Sorry the chapter was so short, and HA another cliffhangar!**

**LOL jk there's more. I bet you were gonna kill me *coughcoughSierracough***

There was nothing there. Just a faint scar line, nothing else. I swallowed thickly. "Is he… you know… paralyzed?" I whispered.

Ben answered that by flailing his little arms and legs, letting out a stream of baby talk. There was a collective sigh of relief.

"Where's his wings, momma?" Tyler asked.

I stroked his hair. "I don't know, honey." I guess Jeb was wrong.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your most embarrassing moment? Mine was in sixth grade, and over the weekend I got a call from a girl saying she was the sister of the guy I had a crush on. She said he wanted to go out with me, and I told her I'd talk to him on Monday. On Monday, I said yes, I'd go out with him, and he was like "Um… What? No." Turns out it was just a stupid b*tch in our class.**

April 18, 2016 (My birthday lolz)

Max POV

I was just beginning to wake up when I heard Nudge scream. This had been happening a lot in the last couple of years.

Running up the stairs, stifling a yawn, I burst through the door. Nudge was on the floor fanning herself, and Iggy was staring into the crib, wide eyed.

My first thought was _Oh, crap, he's paralyzed. I'm gonna kill Jeb. _Then, _I wonder what Iggy'll make for breakfast?_

"What's wrong?" I practically screamed, over the clamor of the rest of the flock pouring into the room. When nobody bothered to answer me, I walked over to the crib myself, shoving Iggy out of the way.

First, I saw Ben wriggling around, so I knew that he wasn't paralyzed. So that left me to wonder what they were freaking out about.

It was then that I saw what all the commotion was about. Just poking out of the partially unbuttoned onesie, I could see the tip of a brown, tawny feather. It could've been form Nudge- it was the same color- or…. I ripped the onesie down, and started squealing with delight.

"Are those wings?" Gazzy asked with wonder. **(A/N: Me: Nope. Chuck Testa. XD Sorry I've been waiting to do that for a while now lol.)**

Ben had a small, one foot wingspan of beautiful browns and tans. They were Nudge's wings in miniature. I was so happy that I started jumping up and down, and even jumped onto Fang, giving him a huge kiss.

Happy endings are the _sh*t_.

**A/N: Me: Here's the real ending of the chapter.**

**Fang: I kind of wanted him to die.**

**Me: Why would you say that?**

**Fang: *shrug* Drama.**_**  
><strong>_

**Me: You are a terrible person.**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**MooMoo: Both of you, shut up! Neither of you are right- I am!**

**Me and Fang: *slowly turn to look at him***

**MooMoo: Uh, sorry. Thought I'd try to get my opinion in there.**

**Rawr: Don't worry, I would've sided with you.**

**Me: *shakes head* If you get that reference- it's a bit hard- you win the internets! Fact: I can go three days without charging my phone. That's how little I text. *Forever Alone face***

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: *whacks with weasel* That'll shut him up for a bit. OK, ten reviews peoples! **


	35. School

**A/N: Me: …. Hehe… um… hi there! Long time no see! Um… I would offer a bunch of excuses, but I know you guys don't really care.**

**Fang: No one does.**

**Me: *glare* It's just that with poms( we have only a week to learn and perfect a dance for HOMECOMING), work (which takes me away from FF pretty much all weekend, which was my time to update), and school (where I have my first ever C in a class- stupid AP History); I'm having even less time to update than normal school time.**

**Fang: Ugh, just hut up already! I told you no one cares!**

**Me: **_**Someone's **_**a little grumpy.**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**Fang: Am not!**

**Me: Are too!**

**MooMoo: Do all of our A/N's end this way?**

**Rawr: Pretty sure. **

**Me: SHUT UP FANG! Go sulk somewhere in your emoness and leave me to update **_**three**_** stories. Ugh. Fact: In my pre-vet class, we are breeding rabbits, so for Christmas Break we will have a bunch of baby bunnies! MY HEAD IS GOING TO EXPLODE FROM THE CUTENESS!**

September 8, 2016 (Wish I started this late. Start what? You'll get it soon)

Max POV

"You _what_!" I exclaimed, open-mouthed, at my mom.

She returned my expression with one of calmness. "I enrolled Tyler and Lizzy-"

Shaking my head, I said "I heard what you said. I just can't believe you would do that behind my back! Our backs!" I gestured to the living room where Fang was watching Dora with Lizzy and Tyler.

"Max, I know you haven't had a normal life, but this is what's best for your children." I guess Fang heard me, and he came into the kitchen, putting his hand on my back.

"Mom. I am 22 years old. Yea, I haven't had a normal life. But I practically raised the flock, so I'm pretty sure I can raise my own children!" I snapped.

"What's going on?" Fang asked quietly.

I rubbed my temples. "My _mom _enrolled Lizzy and Tyler in _school _behind our backs!"

"Well… not behind your back_s_." My mom said, enunciating the 's'. I slowly turned around to glare murderously at Fang, who was caught in the middle of shaking his head, drawing his index finger across his throat.

"_What_?" I growled. Fang backed away, hands raised.

"It was for their own good, Max. They need a normal life. And besides, I _knew _you would react like this!" he tried to explain.

"Ugh!" Shrieking, I stomped up the stairs into the twins' room. Of course, after I smacked Fang upside the head. With considerable force, too- the _thud _it made against the wall was quite lovely.

"Hi, Mommy!" they yelled when I walked in.

"Guess what guys? You're going to school tomorrow!" I cheered with fake enthusiasm.

Of course, they started to cry because of the name similarity. Wonderful.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your favorite kind of music? I like hip hop, mostly- Black Eyed Peas, 3 oh! 3, LMFAO, Rihanna, etc.**

September 9, 2016

Lizzy POV (Uh oh, gettin' crazy!)

I sniffed a little, watching Mommy flying away from me and Tyler. I turned and grabbed his hand. He smiled a little, and then we walked in the school.

I stared at all the colors in our room, and at all the kids. I had never seen so many kids at once! I started to run to the sandbox, when a tall lady grabbed my arm. "Now, now- no running! And let's go put that backpack away!"

She dragged me over to a wall of little shelves, and taked my backpack and put it on one. "Ok- now you can walk over to the sandbox." she said. I started to run, but the lady grabbed my arm again. "Walk!"

When she let go, I runned really fast, and she couldn't catch me. I runned in circles around the room, and no one got me!

Tyler runned next to me, so we raced. He won, but it wasn't fair because he had Mommy's speed power.

"Children! It's lesson time!" the mean lady yelled. We stopped running and went to sit down on the carpet in front of the mean lady. "Hello, children! I am Mrs. Borland- welcome to kindergarten!" The other kids starting yelling.

"Shh!" Mrs. Borland said. "Okay… Tyler, Lizzy, and Grace- go with Ms. Lucy to the math table!"

I sighed standing up. I hate numbers! But then I had an idea- I don't have to go! I grabbed Tyler's hand, and I turned us invisible. Mrs. Borland and Ms. Lucy were so scared!

I laughed- kindergarten would be fun!

**BTW, that part was supposed to be simple worded and badly written- she's only five. Hope I did ok!**

Max POV

I tapped my fingers on my crossed arms in time with my tapping foot. Staring down at my twins, I tried to glare them into talking. But they just stood there, looking at their new and shiny school shoes, not saying a word.

"Well?" I said.

"We're sorry, Mommy." Tyler squeaked, shifting uncomfortably.

"Yea- really!" Lizzy added.

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I said slowly, "Do you have _any _idea how much trouble you two are in?" Oh, there go the quivering bottom lips. "Why on _earth _would you even do those things? It's unacceptable!" And there are the eyes filling up with tears…. "I can not believe you two! It's…it's… unbelievable!" And… _there _go the tears.

So now I had two crying kindergarteners to deal with while Fang had "mysteriously" disappeared. Just as well- tears form his kids turn him into a marshmallow.

"OK- you still have to go to preschool." I cried over the tears. "But no powers, no hurting anyone- just do what you're told!" The twins' crying slowed down- the thought they weren't getting a punishment. Uh, wrong!

"Oh, and you can't play Wii for a week and you have to help wash the dishes for a week." And… more tears. F*** you, Fang.

**A/N: Me: So… just another filler chapter. Yup. Sowwy. **

**Fang: Can I come out of "time out" now?**

**Me: Ah… no.**

**Fang: *head-wall***

**Me: He's in timeout because he's a bad boy.**

**Fang: Shut up!**

**Me: Oh, another minute for grumpy boy!**

**Fang: *head-wall* *head-wall* *head-wall* *head-wall***

**MooMoo: Maybe he'll get a concussion!**

**Rawr: Yea! Then we can poke his head lump!**

**Me: … Why do I even bother with boys? Fact: I am in the promotional video for the haunted house I work at :D OK- ten reviews please! R&R! See ya!**

**Fang: *head-wall* *head-wall* *head-wall* *head-wall***


	36. Hanna's Pregnant

**A/N: Me: _Hola, mis amigos!_**

**Fang: You can't speak Spanish.**

**Me: I know. But it's fun to pretend!**

**Fang: ….**

**MooMoo: You should try it sometime, Fang.**

**Rawr: Yea! Pretend you're a fairy unicorn ballerina princess!**

**Fang: …. Ah… I'm good. Thanks.**

**Me: Imagination is healthy for the soul, Fang.**

**Fang: I'm pretty sure you don't have one.**

**Me: I do too! Now, Sister, on the other hand….**

**Fang: *shudder* I'd hate to see what goes on in her head.**

**Me: Ugh :P I don't even want to know. Fact: My homecoming dance was Friday night! It was way more fun that last year's. My dress was red and sparkly! I bought it last year, though, so I can't find a picture :(**

November 1, 2016

Max POV

Gaping, I watched Fang's fingers fly across the fret board, hitting every note with precision, the notes coming out sounding like a professional. I watched with amazement as he played the entire song, by memory, perfectly, until the last chord sounded out.

Fang looked up at me through his bangs. "What'd you think?" he asked. Only I could see the miniscule, almost non-existent anxiousness. He _wanted _me to like it, he _wanted_ me to praise him. He was such a big, soft baby on the inside.

Shaking my head, my mouth was still hanging open. "Jesus." I said softly. "Where the _heck _did you learn how to play like that?"

Fang smirked, setting the guitar down on our bed. "The internet. Where else?" I fell back onto the bed, still speechless. Who knew that one of us mutant bird kids could actually learn how to play an instrument?

"That was… awesome!" I exclaimed. "How did you do that? God, Fang, you could be a rock legend!"

Fang blushed a bit, and ducked his head in an (utterly futile) attempt to hide it. "Well, I only know two songs." he mumbled.

I hit his shoulder. "Well then show me the other one!" Fang smiled, stood up, and grabbed his guitar.

This song was slower, quieter, and I surprised myself by humming the lyrics. I know this song! I beamed as the song went on, humming the lyrics. I knew better than to sing. The last time I sang- well… let's just say it involved a fire, bleeding, and a stampede of geese. I'm not kidding.

The song was _our _song, the song that played at our first legit "date". I remember the night like it was yesterday…. What a load of cheese on top of a cheese quesadilla sitting on a plate of nachos in a cheese fountain. Mmm… cheesy… wait… where was I? Oh yeah, the flashback.

_Flashback_

_July 10, 2010_

_I was sitting on the porch swing, absentmindedly rubbing one of my many, many scars; remembering the last battle that we had fought-, the one that had destroyed Itex for good._

_All of a sudden, Fang stumbled out the door towards me. I jumped up, rushing over to him- Fang was a shadow, he never stumbled unless he was terribly hurt. "What's wrong?" I asked frantically, looking him over for blood._

_He swatted away my hands. "Nothing. I'm fine." he said gruffly. He cleared his throat. "Actually… I… uh… wanted to… um… ask you a question?" I raised my eyebrow and sat back on the swing, patting the cushion next to me._

_Fang sat, not looking at me. I didn't prod- I knew Fang. It would come out in time. And I was right. "Do you… um… do you wa… God… *deep breath*… do you want to *mumble mumble mumble*"_

_I looked sideways at him. "Sorry… what was that?"_

_He gave me a dry look, but said something that sounded remarkably like "Do you want to pawn a gate kidney?"_

_I stared wordlessly at him. "Pawn… a gate… kidney?" Was he going crazy?_

_Fnag shook his head in frustration. "I said.…" He took a deep breath. Then another. Then another. "Will you… go-out-on-a-date-with-me?" he finally said, rushing the end together._

_I couldn't help it- I gasped. Fang and I… on a date? I couldn't wrap my head around it. The concept was so foreign sounding._

_Denying it wouldn't work. My feelings for Fang had taken a weird turn in the last couple years. I found myself thinking of him less like a brother, or second in command. I found myself thinking about his body, or his attractive hair, or his beautiful face. Things a leader/sister shouldn't think._

_Angel kept telling me that he loved me, and that I loved him. But I was too stubborn to agree. But… I couldn't squash my feelings down for too long._

_"Sure." I found myself saying, my calm exterior hiding the madness within._

_Fang's face lit up, the picture of complete joy, and he bounced off, seeming like a huge weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Onto mine._

_To say that getting ready for the date was a piece of cake would be lying. Nudge, Ella, and Angel poked and prodded. They treated me like a human Barbie doll. Meanwhile I was frantic over what to do, what to say, how to act on our "first date"._

_When seven o'clock finally rolled around, I was hectic. "Stop pacing! You'll sweat off your make-up!" Nudge reprimanded, grabbing my shoulders. Ella came up to us and stared at me. She must have seen the panic in my eyes, because she started giving me a pep talk._

_"Max- he loves you, you love him. You're like two peas in a pod, or two birds of a feather if you'd prefer that." I couldn't help but crack a smile. I probably looked like a grinning psychopath. _**(A/N: Me: Or like Sister!) **_"You can do this. You're THE Maximum Ride. Now go out there and get your man!"_

_She was right- I could totally do this! I walked to the backyard, feeling totally confident. Then I saw Fang, looking totally sexy in his suit, and I ran back inside. "I can't do this!" I whisper screamed to Ella and Nudge._

_The looked sideways at each other, then at me. Then, moving lightning fast, they each grabbed one of my arms and hauled me outside, locking the door. I growled at their angelic smiles and waves._

_"Hey, Max." Fang said, looking slightly uncomfortable in his attire. But he gave me his special half grin, and I'm pretty sure my bones melted into my annoyingly high heels. He took my arm, and we walked into the woods behind the house, where I had one of the best nights of my life. _**(A/N: Me: They just had like a picnic, get your minds out of the gutter!) **

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Who is your favorite music artist/band? I love LMFAO, Black Eyed Peas, Kesha, 3 oh! 3, Rihanna, Guns & Roses, Muse, and ACDC.**

**Check out my crossover fic 'The Road Goes Ever On'. Do it. You know you want to.**

"MAX! GROW SOME BRAIN CELLS AND LISTEN TO ME!" I heard Iggy screaming. Shaking my head, I focused my eyes on the blond pyro waving his hands in front of me, glaring at me with bright blue eyes. I still got a happy thrill whenever I saw his working eyes.

"I will when you do." I retorted. I heard Fang smother a chuckle.

Iggy ignored my jab and yanked someone out from behind him. Gazzy. "This guy has something to tell you." Iggy said, still sounding mad.

"Oh! Hehehe… no I don't! There's nothing to tell her!" Gazzy said nervously. Now I was getting very suspicious. Knowing these two, they blew up all of Las Vegas or something.

"What is it Gazzy?" I used my no nonsense tone. Gazzy stared at me for a second, then ran off down the hall, screaming like a little girl. It was very strange coming from a 17 year old boy.

Iggy sprinted off after him, shouting. I sighed, and then ran after them. I came around a bend to find Iggy tackling Gazzy mid step, and putting him in a headlock. "Tell her!" he growled.

Gazzy looked like a deer in headlights. "Uh…." He gulped. "Hannah's… kind of… pregnant."

"_What!_" I shrieked. Gazzy trembled a bit. I stood stock still, unsure of what in the world to do.

"Iggy?"

"What?"

"Let Gazzy go."

"Why?" Iggy asked, not letting go.

"Because he needs to run. _Now_." Iggy released Gazzy, and he dashed down the stairs, screaming again. Except this time, I was chasing him.

**A/N: Me: Yup. Another baby. Told you this story repeats itself. But there's some Fax in there for you!**

**Fang: I don't play the guitar!**

**Me: But you should.**

**Fang: Why?**

**Me: It fits your goth emo image.**

**Fang: AAAAAAAHHHHHH I'M NOT EMO! **

**Me: …. Yea you are. Fact: I get to actually walk through the haunted house that I work at this coming Saturday. It should be fun :)**

**MooMoo: Can we please get 10 reviews this time? *bambi eyes***

**Rawr: Yea, we only got 8 last time! *bambi eyes***

**Me: How could you say no to those faces? Awww.**

**Fang: Cause I hate everyone.**

**Me: And you say that you're not emo? **


	37. Wedding 4

**A/N: Me: You guys, I am soooo excited for Halloween :D**

**Fang: *mocking* You guys, I'm soooo tired of hearing this!**

**Me: Shut up Fang. Imma kill you!**

**Fang: …. What?**

**Me: It's what my best friend forever and ever Stephanie yells at huge bugs!**

**MooMoo: Ooh, I love Stephanie!**

**Rawr: I miss her!**

**Me: Yea, me too :(**

**Fang: She lives 30 minutes away!**

**Me: Fang, you're grumpy today. You're just jealous because Fact: I got a second job at my favorite pizza place EVER :D :D :D So you can just go shut up and sit down, Fang.**

**Fang: Why can't you take that one reviewer's advice and let me go?**

**Me: Because you are my squishy, and I shall keep you and name you Squishy :3**

**Fang: See what I have to live with?**

February 28, 2017

Max POV

Here I sit, in the front pew of a church, trying to hold down two antsy five year olds from taking off into the air. Fang wasn't helping me (I mean, why on Earth would he do that?). Nudge and Iggy were off in the bathroom "with Ben", which meant they were making out while Ben slept on the changing table. Angel was up front with Gazzy, and Ella/Mom/Ian/Jack couldn't come- some distant, family reunion thing (that I was not allowed to go to). All in all, it was a pretty suckish day.

What made it even worse was seeing my little trooper in the process of marrying his 4-months-pregnant-and-just-showing-in-her-tight-wedding-dress knocked up girlfriend. I was still stewing about that.

I mean, it was a big enough leap for me just a couple years ago when him and Angel wanted to start dating. But now he has gotten Hannah pregnant, and then they all agreed they should get married. I remember the day he told me she was pregnant.

_Flashback_

_Iggy yanked someone out from behind him. Gazzy. "This guy has something to tell you." Iggy said, sounding mad._

_ "Oh! Hehehe… no I don't! There's nothing to tell her!" Gazzy said nervously. Now I was getting very suspicious. Knowing these two, they blew up all of Las Vegas or something._

"_What is it Gazzy?" I used my no nonsense tone. Gazzy stared at me for a second, then ran off down the hall, screaming like a little girl. It was very strange coming from a 17 year old boy. _

_Iggy sprinted off after him, shouting. I sighed, and then ran after them. I came around a bend to find Iggy tackling Gazzy mid step, and putting him in a headlock. "Tell her!" he growled._

_Gazzy looked like a deer in headlights. "Uh…." He gulped. "Hannah's… kind of… pregnant." _

"_What!" I shrieked. Gazzy trembled a bit. I stood stock still, unsure of what in the world to do. _

"_Iggy?"_

"_What?"_

"_Let Gazzy go."_

"_Why?" Iggy asked, not letting go._

"_Because he needs to run. Now." Iggy released Gazzy, and he dashed down the stairs, screaming again. Except this time, I was chasing him._

_I ran after him through the whole house, until he jumped out of an open window to take into the sky. Silly, silly boy. I guess he forgot that I have _super speed_. So I jumped out the window after him, and rocketed into super speed._

_I'm a kind and loving person. I was the mom figure for my little guys for eleven years. I'm a real mom (and aunt) now. I'm in an awesome, loving relationship. I'm constantly surrounded by everyone I love. So what did I do to my little Gazzy?_

_I screamed like a maniac, did a flying (literally) tackle, dove onto his back- dislocated one of his wings, I think- and started screaming in his ear._

"_Of all the irresponsible, idiotic, stupid, brainless things to do! Why on EARTH did that happen? Weren't you using protection? Or SOMETHING? What is WRONG with you! You need to think with the head on your shoulders, not the other one!"_

_Gazzy was screaming in terror, partly because of my wrath. The other part was that we were free falling 20,000 feet to the ground. So I started flapping again, and slowly we rose and headed home._

_I was holding Gazzy up by an arm and an ear in the air. "You are SO dead!"_

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What are you going to be for Halloween? I'm going to be an evil doll!**

**Read the A/N below!**

**AAAAAAAND you should read my story 'The Road Goes Ever On'. There will be Fax, Niggy, butt-whooping, giant spiders, flying dragon type things, elves, dwarves, swords, magic, wizards, and ale. Lots of ale.**

Suffice to say, I was NOT happy with him. And he knew it. He had barely said 50 words to me since then, and he ran whenever I was in the same room as him. I mean, my rage had cooled off a while ago, but it was still fun to watch him run.

But it was still a sore subject whenever it came up. I mean… how could he be so stupid! It was just… UGH! Don't even get me started. Don't even.

"Max." Fang whispered. "Don't punch a hole through Tyler's leg." I gave him a glare- stupid, hot husband- but loosened my death grip on my children. Of course, that gave them their opportunity to skedaddle into the aisle and run out the back door of the church.

I almost screamed in frustration. Getting up, I quickly squeezed past Hannah's family members in the pew next to me and ran after them. Fang better be coming to help me, or so help me….

I found them outside in a park down the street. And, of course, as soon as they saw me- blistering with fury- they took off. Tyler was actually carrying Lizzy, so that they could make us of his super speed in running.

"AAAAARRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!" I screamed. I really hate my life.

**A/N: Me: Sorry about the crappy quality of this chapter- I'm typing it up in the half hour before I go to work. OK, ready Fang?**

**Fang: Ready.**

**Me: Okay. Say… _J'adore jouer avec les petites garcons_.**

**Fang: *with terrible accent* _J'adore jouer avec les petites garcons_.**

**Me: *snort* Hee hee. *snort* *cough* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *falls onto ground***

**Fang: What?**

**Me: You- y-you just said… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *cries***

**Fang: Tell me what I just said!**

**Me: I-i-I *gasp* BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *rolls around***

**MooMoo: So what was so important about this A/N?**

**Rawr: She probably just wants people to read her joke.**

**Fang: What the heck! What did I say? Someone please tell me!**

**Me: BAHAHAHA! Okay, mission: Go to Google translate. Tell me what he said. Or, if you know French. Fact: I'm posting a new story tomorrow. Of course it's going to be about Halloween! It involves a sexy vampire. NOT a sparkly gay unicorn fairy.**

**MooMoo: 10 reviews please!**

**Rawr: Happy Halloween and safe trick-or-treating everyone!**


	38. A Vacation

**A/N: Me: Haha- Fang likes playing with little boys! XD**

**Fang: SHUT UP! I'm NOT a pedophile!**

**Me: You said it yourself!**

**Fang: I didn't know what I was saying! It was in FRENCH!**

**Me: Too bad- you still said it :)**

**Fang: Can someone please get me out of here?**

**MooMoo: Nope.**

**Rawr: You're pretty much stuck.**

**Fang: FML**

**Me: I love pissing you off :D Fact: Turns out I had strep throat :P Fang's a pedo.**

**Fang: AM NOT!**

April 18, 2017 (LOL my 21st birthday… BEER! JK it's gross :P) Whoops- I forgot to list the ages last chapter.

Fang/Iggy/Max- 23

Nudge/Ian/Ella- 20

Gazzy/Hannah (Ian's little sister)- 17

Angel/Matt (Ian's little brother)- 15

Tyler/Lizzy (Fang and Max's kids)- 6

Jack (Ella and Ian's kid)- 3

Ben (Nudge and Iggy's kid)- 1

Refresher!:

Ian- Blonde hair, deep blue eyes

Hannah- Red curly hair, green eyes

Matt- Strawberry blonde hair, aqua blue eyes

Ian's Mom- Curly red hair, dark blue eyes

Ian's Dad- Platinum blonde hair, deep green eyes

Tyler- Max's light brown hair and brown with white wings, Fang's black eyes

Lizzy- Fang's black hair and wings, Max's light brown eyes

Jack- Ella's dark brown hair, Ian's dark blue eyes

Ben- Nudge's dark brown hair and tawny wings, Iggy's bright blue eyes

Max POV

As soon as Nudge (with Ben), Angel, Lizzy, Tyler, little Jack, Ella (why was she here anyway?), and of course Iggy, piled into my room, I knew I was in trouble. I _had _been laying down, resting, nursing a headache, trying to block the sounds of Ben, Lizzy, and Tyler crying. It was only 9 am, and there was already a meltdown to rival Three Mile Island. It was a chain reaction once Tyler broke Lizzy's My Little Pony toy, **(A/N: Me:** **Are **_**you **_**a brony?)**, Tyler getting punished, and Ben getting upset about the noise. I had let Fang handle that explosion.

Living here so cramped wasn't helping either. There was me and Fang's room, Lizzy and Tyler's room, Nudge and Iggy's room, Ben's room, Gazzy and Hannah's (she was now living with us) room, and Angel's room. In a four bedroom house- we didn't have an office anymore. So the house was ready to explode.

They all were talking at once- and I was getting pretty pissed off. "SHADDUP!" I screamed. Nobody listened to me, and they all kept shouting over each other. I knew what I had to do. Sighing, I stood up on top of my bed. "BACON IS EDIBLE SEX!" I bellowed. **(A/N: Me: Thank you Phoenix Fanatic.) **

Sure enough, everyone stopped and stared at me. I could hear Fang and Ian laughing downstairs. "That's pretty accurate." Iggy said. I'll never understand that boy.

"Okay, now that I have your guys' attention, and that you've woken me up, someone better be dying." I asked.

Of course, you can guess who was the first one to answer. "Like, OMG Dr. M called and suggested that we all go on a vacation a few minutes ago and I asked her where and she was like 'I don't know' and I was all like 'well I don't either' but then Ella was visiting her and she suggested going to Southern CA to the beach and we all agreed that it was a really good idea and Dr. M already made reservations for a hotel and we're leaving at noon so you need to pack and you can't stop us from going!" She said that all in one breath. Without dying.

"Um…." I didn't know what to say. I guess that wouldn't be a problem, but the way our lives go…. " I guess we could go for a little bit, but…." The end of my sentence was drowned out by all the cheers. I groaned, rubbing my temples- this could not end well.

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Where was your best vacation ever? Mine was in Australia, obviously. **

In the end, we ended up leaving later than we wanted to. But that was because I had to spend almost an hour convincing Iggy that no, he could not bring his case full of titanium-cobalt with him. I don't even know where he got that, I don't think it's legal, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know.

My mom, Ella, Ian, Jack, Hannah, and Matt (Angel begged to bring him) were traveling in my mom's blue Dodge minivan. The rest of us were flying (except Jack, but Nudge was carrying him).

It was a pretty short flight- about an hour- but we had to wait for the van to meet us at the hotel. So we checked in and went to eat. What? I would marry food if I could. I'm pretty sure we ate out their entire buffet, and I'm not surprised. It was fascinating, yet slightly appalling, to see how much food Iggy could wolf down- using both hands- in just five minutes.

Afterwards, Fang wanted to send the kids down to the beach "with Iggy to supervise" and spent some "time with you, Max".

"I'm pretty sure that Iggy needs supervision, let alone let _him _supervise. Also, forget it Mr. Horndog- not gonna happen." I said, poking his chest. His face made him look like a beaten puppy. A pouty, beaten puppy.

In the end, we all ended up going to the beach. Iggy, Gazzy, Angel, and Nudge (holding Ben) were down by the water, doing God knows what. Savages. "Max… need a sun lotion? Like… on your back?" Fang asked.

Rolling my eyes, I said "No, Fang, I don't need to be felt up right now." I heard him cuss under his breath. He just won't give up.

It was a nice day, and we spent a few hours at the beach. By the time dinner rolled around, my mom and co. were looking for us, and wanted to know where we were gonna have dinner.

We chose Nathan's **(A/N: Me: Me no owny.) **for dinner, since Iggy was "craving some hot and juicy meat sticks". That earned him a smack. This time, we all walked to it (shocker, I know) since we had humans with his. Eww… humans. LOL JK. Wait… did I just text speak in my head? Wow, only 23 and I am losing it.

I felt so bad for the poor guy at the counter- "Um… I need.. let's see… 16 corndogs, 22 hotdogs with everything on them, 15 sodas, and 18 bratwursts with chili and cheese." My mom said, already gathering a bunch of twenties.

The guy balked, staring at us, trying to see if we were kidding. But when he saw that we all were serious (except Iggy, who was giggling over a 'meat stick's' name), he swallowed and put in the order.

It took over twenty minutes to get all of our food, and we walked out chewing and chomping. Even little Ben was chewing up a small piece of hot dog. I was still hungry. What? I only had a hot dog and two corndogs. Don't judge.

We walked to our hotel (which was conveniently placed right next to a Hooter's. **(A/N: Me no owny.) **Nudge, Ella, and I all just grabbed our husbands and dragged them into the hotel.

Each room had two beds, so four people would be in each. Fang and I would share with Lizzy and Tyler, Gazzy and Hannah would share with Angel and Matt (not too thrilled with that, but Angel knows I _will _rip off her head and crap down her neck), Nudge and Iggy would share with Ben and Jack (they were 'babysitting' for Ella), and my mom would share with Ella and Ian. Whew.

I wonder where all the money came from. I bet Angel conned some poor sucker into donating to some false charity. Or Iggy just bombed a bank and in the chaos ran away with bag of money. Or Fang went into a Wal-Mart with a taco and a flamethrower, and set the TV's on fire, and then put the taco… okay this is getting a bit weird for me. I apologize.

In the end, I only had to punch Fang six times, two of which were in the 'family jewels'. After that I _think _he got the point.

**Um… read my two newest stories "The Road Goes Ever On" and "I Am a Vampire!" This shameless plugging brought to you by… um… IDK my BFF Jill.**

The rest of the vacation passed smoothly; with three days of the beach, sun, iced tea, and ice cream. I caught Fang, Iggy, and Ian on a midnight run to Hooter's, or 'that one Subway place we passed… um… yesterday'. I had to fight off a horny Fang the whole time (with more kiwi punches). Um… oh YEAH! I can't believe I forgot to say the whole _reason_ why we left! Now, while I patch up the fourth wall, please enjoy this flashback.

_Flashback_

_ I was laying on the sand, basking in the sun. I smacked Fang's hand when it ventured from my arm to my chest. It was calm and peaceful, with just Ella/Ian, Gazzy/Hannah, Nudge, and Fang/I. My mom had taken everyone else (Iggy "had some errands to run") mini golfing._

_ The silence was shattered when I heard terrified screams, gun shots, and explosions from about a mile away. Fang and I looked at each other, and said the same thing. "Iggy."_

_ Sure enough, the stain on humanity's sleeve himself came sprinting into view, holding a mysterious package in his hand, sending sand flying everywhere. He skidded to a stop right in front of me._

_ "Uh… Max. We have a… situation. I may… or may not… have angered a whole mob of Canadians, and I may or may not have blown up a whole factory, and they may or may not have sent the town militia after me." _

_ My mouth dropped open. "How could one person be so stupid. How are you even breathing?" I asked._

_ "There's no time- or answers- for stupid questions, Max!" Iggy yelled. "We need to go!" I sighed, and called my mom._

_ "Iggy blew up a factory, pissed off a bunch of Canadians, and attracted the attention of the town militia. So pack everyone up and meet us at the hotel, stat."_

_ "Again?" my mom sighed. "Alright, see you in a couple minutes."_

And that is why we are now home four days early, Iggy is my personal slave for a week, and Fang is still waiting for his "alone time".

**A/N: Me: Fang stop pouting and come help me with this!**

**Fang: No!**

**Me: But I can't post the chapter without you!**

**Fang: Screw you, B.**

**Me: Anytime :) LOLOLOLOL**

**Fang: o.O *face palm***

**MooMoo: Face it.**

**Rawr: He's not leaving his emo corner.**

**Me: Whatever, Fang. Screw _you_. Fact: I got Just Dance 2 from Gamefly, and it's FRICKING AWESOME! Okay, lets get 10 reviews again- I want the total by the end of the story to be… 400. I think we can do it. 107 reviews in… 15 chapters. R&R! GO!**


	39. Play Dates!

**A/N: Me: DON'T THROW SHARP AND POINTY OBJECTS AT ME!**

**Fang: Do it. Please.**

**Me: I have been SO busy, especially now that track has started. So… updating will pretty much be ONLY on the weekends from now on.**

**Fang: I can't even get a pencil? A pen? A tomato?**

**Me: See, they do still like me :)**

**Fang: My faith in humanity is gone.**

**MooMoo: Don't worry, Fang!**

**Rawr: Nobody here is human.**

**Fang: But what about-**

**Me: Don't worry your pretty little head about it, Fang. Fact: I just finished watching every single EpicMealTime episode ever made. BACON STRIPS!**

**Fang: And you wonder why you don't have any friends?**

**Me: This is true :(**

June 1, 2017

Max POV

You know, the amount of stress I was under was the equivalent to… I don't know… the physical weight of bacon's awesomeness. I know- it's a _**lot**_. But what do you expect when you have 6 six year olds (two of which fly), 2 three year olds, one baby, a pregnant human, am over six foot tall previously blind pyro, all causing mayhem around the house?

I don't even know how I got myself into this situation. It had started off with Lizzy wanting to invite her friend Christy over, and then another friend Monica; and then Tyler joined in with his friends Logan and CJ. And _then_, Ella has to dump three year old Jack and his friend Luke over, saying that their house didn't have anything to do in it.

Then we have Iggy, who had just finished blowing up the garden gnome in the backyard; and Hanna, who was complaining about something or other. Then, Nudge had dumped Ben on me, saying she and Ella needed some time together. As usual, Nudge didn't give me one ounce of room to say anything.

So here I was, sitting on the couch, staring glass-eyed out the window at the back yard. I was holding Ben, who wouldn't stop talking baby gibberish. Fang was getting groceries, Iggy was frantically trying to stop a good-sized fire from spreading into the trees, Angel was out on a date, and Gazzy was trying to please Hanna (in vain). Lizzy, Christy, and Monica were in the pool, splashing each other. Tyler, CJ, and Logan were shooting things (and people) with water guns. Jack and Luke were trying to lay in the fire Iggy had going. It was a complete disaster.

I felt like that if I had a d*ck, I would want to shove it into something sharp. I felt like killing all the children by shooting them in the face with a bazooka, and then snacking on some bacon. I felt like the whole gosh darn world had just said "You know what? Let's dump all the children on Max, stir in some chaos, and then make her deal with it! That'll be fun, eh?" I don't know why they sounded Canadian.

I sighed as Lizzy's friend Monica took a jet of water right in the face, and then sighed again as I watched Iggy simultaneously push Jack away from the flames and try to put out the fire on his pants. Glaring at him, I pinched Ben's mouth shut as he let forth another strain of nonsense words.

What could I say? I was over it. Let them all kill each other and themselves. Like I care. Maybe I was just jaded, but this whole care taker/provider/baby sitter/parent thing was completely over rated.

So I sat, silently waiting, for someone to come home and deal with the whole mess. Cause, let's just face it- if I tried to solve anything, I would end up cutting everyone up with a freshly sliced orange peel.

**Question of the Chapter: What do you get for good report card grades? I get $10 an A (I only have four classes each semester), and if I get straight A's I get a (about) $25 prize.**

**I want more people to read 'I Am a Vampire!' and 'The Road Goes Ever On'. I know you're probably tired of hearing this, but I work hard on FanFiction stuff, so it makes me kind of sad when I don't get very many reviews/hits :(**

**Last thing: I cut out like… 7 chapters. They were all about Angel getting married and having triplets (which you guys are tired of hearing about, so… :) ). One of them was born like Ben without wings, so Jeb tries the serum thingy again. It doesn't work, so he grafts wings onto it and it all works out. I figured this way you guys won't have to go through any more descriptive weddings and pregnancy announcements, and now the story can end at an even 45 chapters. I still want at least 400 reviews, though. Less than 100 left!**

**Sorry this was so long. I had a lot of announcements :3**

Suffice to say, by the time Fang drove back home with the 15 bags of groceries, there was little improvement in the yard. Christy had now almost drowned four times, Luke caught his toy on fire and partially melted it, CJ had made his ear bleed by shooting water directly into it, Iggy was soot and burn covered along with half of the yard; and Ben was stinking up the place and crying.

As soon as Fang walked through the door, I leapt at him, knocking all the groceries to the floor. I tossed Ben at him (thankfully Fang caught him in time- that would've been a bit hard to explain), pointed out the window, and said "It's all yours. Good luck." Before Fang could see what I meant, I gave him a quick kiss and bounded out the door, launching into super speed mode.

As I sped away into the sky, I heard Fang roar "**MAX! I AM GOING TO MURDER YOU WHEN YOU GET BACK! I MEAN IT!**" Sighing in contentment with not having to worry about that mess anymore, I sailed through the clouds, not really going anywhere.

**A/N: Me: Sorry- feeling lazy. I had a tough track practice at 8 this morning. Not fun :P**

**Fang: This was a completely random chapter.**

**Me: Yes… yes it was. It's just a lowly filler, here to (hopefully) make you laugh. Or at least smile.**

**MooMoo: On another note….**

**Rawr: THANKSGIVING!**

**Fang: OH MY GOD I LOVE THANKSGIVING!**

**Rest of us: *chirp chirp* …..**

**Fang: *ahem* What? I like food….**

**Me: Right. Whatever, nimrod. Fact: I got my first B EVER on a report card for the first school term. It made me sad inside :( **

**Fang: That class is hard- it makes my head sad.**

**Me: Too true. R&R please- do it for the turkey. I know the chapter sucked, but I would still like 10 reviews if you could find it in your hearts to do so :)**


	40. A Baby Girl!

**A/N: Me: It's only 7:30 yet I'm soo tired… blargh….**

**Fang: *snore***

**Me: Fang's on top of the desk shelf again. Hold on. *pokes with very long stick that appears out of no where***

**Fang: Huh? Wha- *crash to floor* GOD! STOP DOING THAT!**

**Me: My mom's desk is not your nest!**

**Fang: I don't have a nest! I have to sleep on the hammock in your room when you're not actually in it! Otherwise I sleep on a couch in the basement!**

**Me: Wah wah wah. Go cry about it. Fact: I ordered a new (for me at least) laptop off eBay and it's gonna be here next week and I'm SO FRICKING EXCITED! **

**Fang: She gets to spend even more of her time typing now.**

**Me: Yup! _READ THE LINE BREAKER THING!_**

August 29, 2017

Max POV

I stared at my clothes in confusion. Wasn't my Perry the Platypus t-shirt* blue? And wasn't my stone-washed blue jeans… blue? And yet, here I was, holding a yellow Perry shirt and a green pair of jeans. Then I thought of something.

"IGGY! GAZZY! GET IN HERE _NOW_!" I thundered, tossing my ruined clothes onto mine and Fang's bed. I heard shouted accusations, followed by footsteps pounding up the stairs, and a lot of shoving and whispering. Within 20 seconds the two blonde pyromaniacs were standing in front of me, pointing at each other and yelling.

"Gazzy said-"

"Iggy set it on fire-"

"It was Gazzy's idea-"

"Iggy got the chlorofibon oxide-"

"I told him no-"

"He didn't contain the explosion-"

I growled in frustration, and then screamed, "SHADDUP!" They both stopped shouting. Pinching the bridge of my nose, I said quietly, "I don't care- and don't want to know- what you've blown up or set on fire in the last hour- which is probably a lot." They both smirked quickly and fist bumped.

"What I want to know," I continued, voice growing louder, "is why you guys were in my closet messing with my clothes. My clothes are off limits for experimenting on or destroying! I've told you guys that a hundred bajillion times! Have you ever seen someone get punched in the wrist? 'Cause you're about to!"**

Iggy and Gazzy exchanged a wary glance, and then Iggy said "We didn't do anything to your clothes."

"Yea!" Gazzy piped up. "We didn't touch them!"

Narrowing my eyes, I glared at them. "Yea right. Who else would go through my stuff, pick out my actually non-ripped clothing, and then completely change the color of it!"

Gazzy quailed under my glare. "We didn't do it! Honest!" he almost whined. Iggy nodded, flinching when my glare turned to him. Ha- another advantage (for me, at least) of him being able to see. Now everybody (except Fang… stupid, sexy block head) could feel my wrath! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem… excuse my insanity.

"Like I'm gonna believe you guys. Well, you guys can shove your excuses up your sorry a-" I was interrupted by a scream coming from Nudge and Iggy's room down the hall. The three of us dashed down the hall, busting the door down to get into the room.

Fang and Angel ran up the stairs and jumped into the room with us. We all formed a circle, watching for the problem. I sighed when I realized that there was no attack, and Nudge was just being over-dramatic. She was just standing in front of her closet, holding an orange sun dress, horror struck.

Walking over to her, I asked "Nudge, what is it?" Nudge gestured to the orange garment she was holding. "Yea, it's pretty. Why the heck are you screaming?"

"This isn't _orange_!" she shrieked. I raised an eyebrow. "No- it isn't _supposed _to be orange! It's supposed to be hot pink… and cute! Not _orange_!"

Okay, I'm not retarded. I can make a connection, thank you very much. So that's when I believed Iggy and Gazzy. Iggy doted on Nudge, so he would never mess with her. _Especially _with her clothes.

"What is this… I don't even…." I mumbled. Then Ben, who was sitting in his crib/bed thing, started laughing. We all turned and watched him, distracted for the moment.

His little tawny wings- so much like Nudge's- were fluttering, and he was grasping his toy Thomas the Tank Engine. All of a sudden, right before our eyes, the blue train turned brown. It legit _changed color_.

My eyes grew to the size of Frisbees, and I walked over to Ben. "Did you do that?" Ben smiled and giggled, obviously proud of himself. Nudge squealed, materializing next to me and wrapping him in a hug.

"He got part of his daddy's color ability! Oh, look at you, little Benny-wenny, you got a power!" Nudge cooed. Fang mimed gagging himself behind her- I stifled a laugh- and Angel and Gazzy walked away, rolling their eyes.

I grabbed Fang's hand and towed him out of the room, and brought him into our room. Pushing him lightly onto the bed, I curled up in his lap, nuzzling into his shoulder. He started stroking my hair with one hand while wrapping the other around me.

We stayed like that for about a minute. Then, sitting up straighter, I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing his head down to mine. I kissed him softly, running my hands through his soft hair. Fang kissed back strongly, obviously liking it.

I broke off the kiss, smirking at his expression. He mock-scowled at me, before latching his lips back onto mine. We got more into the kiss, me grabbing handfuls of his hair and him practically bruising the small of my back where his hands were grabbing. Until they started sliding lower, of course. Stupid, horny boys.

I opened my mouth a bit, and Fang didn't miss a beat. The kissing got more intense, heavier, and we laid down on the bed. Fang hovered above me, now trailing kissed down my jaw and neck.

I moaned quietly, and Fang chuckled, which earned him an embarrassed smack from me. Fang started peeling my shirt off, making me shiver. Of course, because this is _me _we're talking about, Nudge walked in. What ever happened to knocking?

"Oh, hey you guys. I knocked, but I guess you didn't hear me." Nudge giggled. Oh. "Why is it that every time I come in here to tell you something, I always find you guys making out? Ugh. Anyway, Hannah told Gazzy who told me to tell you guys that the baby's coming!" Nudge trilled.

Fang glared at Nudge's receding back, and didn't move. "Uh, Fang?" I said. Nothing. "Hey, Fang!" I said louder, poking him. He didn't respond, and went back to kissing me. I flicked his ear (once the kiss was finished, of course. What? I like them too….) and yelled "Nimrod! We have to go- it's our niece or nephew being born!"

Fang groaned, flopping next to me on the bed. "Why do babies always interrupt _everything_!" he whined.

"Come on, cry baby. Let's gather the troops and go!"

Lizzy and Tyler were at school, Nudge and Iggy were already waiting in the backyard with Ben, and Gazzy was in the car with Hannah, already driving. So I grabbed Angel (who was grabbing her purse) and took off into the sky, heading towards the oh-so-familiar hospital.

**Poll alert! I have a poll up on my profile. If you vote on it and tell me that you did in a review/PM, you get an extra waffle! There's four people who voted already, so let me know you who are. I know there's at least 50 people reading this, so if I get… 40 voters I'll post the next chapter of this tomorrow instead of next week. Do it for chapter 41 and for the waffles!**

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: What is your favorite cartoon? Mine would be Chowder, Family Guy, SpongeBob, South Park, or possibly Beavis and Butthead. If you don't have any of those in your country, I am very sorry for you :(**

***- You know I've got that shirt :D**

****- If anyone can tell me what series of YouTube videos this threat came from, I will give you 3 waffles.** **And if you can give me which specific video it's from, I'll give you 2 more waffles. So 5 waffles. Go!**

"It's a girl!" the doctor pronounced, holding up a bloody, slimy, wriggling thing. Ew.

Gazzy grinned, exulted, and Hannah smiled tiredly. Iggy stepped closer to the bed, and by his smile I knew he was trying to cause trouble. "I can imagine how much pain you went through, Hannah, I really can."

Hannah frowned. "Um… I'm pretty sure you can't. It's _really _painful."

Iggy smiled wider. "Ever step on a lego?" I have _got _to keep Iggy off of the internet.

"Shut up, Iggy!" I yelled, taking a swing at his head. He ducked, laughing.

Hannah received her baby, all wrapped up in a pink blanket, a few minutes later. She had Gazzy's bright blonde hair, but with Hannah's green eyes. Unwrapping the blanket, we were thrilled to see a tiny pair of auburn wings sticking out of her back. I guess Hannah's red hair gave them the color.

"We'll name her Rebecca." Hannah said, glancing up at Gazzy. Gazzy beamed even wider, and I thought his skull was gonna split open, and his eyeballs would roll out onto the floor. Then all of his teeth would fall out of their sockets, and his brains would slosh onto the floor like a-

Okay, that was a gross image. I apologize.

All in all, it was a pretty good day. A toddler got a new power, I had a pretty good (and short) make-out session with Fang, a new baby was born, _and _baby had wings. Now if only we got news of Jeb dying in a _terrible _car accident….

**A/N: Me: Whoopee. Another crappy chapter, brought to you by yours truly. **

**Fang: Yup. This sucks!**

**Me: Shut up Fang. You're just mad because I didn't buy you anything on Black Friday sales.**

**Fang: Nu uh!**

**Me: Yea huh! Especially that one Care Bear shirt you wanted….**

**MooMoo: Don't be mad, Fang.**

**Rawr: Maybe you'll get it for Christmas!**

**Fang: The only thing I want for Christmas is escape.**

**Me: That'd make a good song. "All I want for Christmas is a clean escape, a clean escape, a clean escape! All I want for Christmas is a clean escape, so that I can make out with Ma-ax!**

**Fang: *head wall repeatedly* Stop it! That's almost as bad as when you forced me to read My Immortal with you!**

**Me: *shudder* Nothing is worse than that abomination. Fact: I'm getting acrylic nails this weekend! WOO! Okay- R&R please! I know it sucks, but I would still like some reviews. And go vote on my poll! Do it for the waffles!**


	41. Family War Night

**A/N: Me: I know, I know, it's been waaaayyyy too long. But I have been SOOOO busy lately that I haven't even had time to sleep.**

**Fang: Literally- and it pisses me off 'cause that means I can't sleep either- she's always studying or working or showering or running track or at school or eating or-**

**Me: I GET IT! I HAVE A HEADACHE AND YOU'RE NOT HELPING!**

**Fang: *flips off***

**Me: Hey! You ungrateful little ba-**

**MooMoo: Why don't you tell them what you're typing on?**

**Rawr: TELL 'EM TELL 'EM!**

**Me: Oh yeah! Fact: This is the first chapter I'm typing on my brand new LAPTOP! Woooooooooo!**

**Fang: She bought it with her haunted house money. It only cost $268.**

**Me: So enjoy this extra-long, (hopefully) extra-funny chapter to make up for the weeks without a chapter!**

September 19, 2017

Max POV

And so it began, a three and a half hour ordeal in which that I found myself contemplating suicide many times. There were approximately 13 fights that I had to break up, two bloody noses, multiple bruises, a broken vase, and a knocked over table. There were cheats, scams, backroom deals, unfair trades, ganging up on people (mostly me), death threats, meltdowns, and grudges. It was total war.

We were playing Monopoly. And in the flock, that meant _total_ war.

You see, it all started on a relatively harmless note.

_ Flashback_

_ "Max, I'm so BOOOOORRRREEEEDDDD!" Nudge whined for, like, the ten bajillionth time. It was Saturday afternoon, and it was storming like a mofo outside. The power was out, so anything electronic was out (iPods and the laptop had died 20 minutes ago). So the flock, Lizzy, Tyler, Hannah, baby Rachel, Ben, Total, and I were all squished into the basement game area._

_ "Yes, Nudge, I heard you the first 999 quatrillion, 999 trillion, 999 billion, 999 million, 999 thousand, 999 times." I sighed, rubbing my temples._

_ "I don't think those are real numbers, Max." Fang murmured. I shot him the bird under the pretense of wiping the corner of my eye._

_ "Whatever. My point is, shut the f*ck up!" I snapped, breaking my no-cursing rule. Dangit, and I had a nice streak going- 74 minutes. Nudge looked hurt, but then her eyes and face lit up. Uh oh- bad things always happen when Nudge gets an idea._

_ "WE SHOULD PLAY MONOPOLY!" she screeched, practically blowing out my eardrums. An immediate cacophony broke out as everyone argued about it. It seemed that Lizzy, Angel, Fang, Rachel , Total, Nudge, and Ben (he played with Nudge) were for it. Sighing, I counted- 7 to 5._

_ "I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT! GIRL LOOK AT THAT BODY, GIRL LO-" I stopped my (off-key) singing once everyone had stopped there arguing to listen to me, mostly horrorstruck. What? It works every time._

_ "You just put me off of that song for the rest of my life." Iggy said, glaring at me. Ignoring him, I yelled, "Okay- its 7-5, so I guess we're playing Monopoly. Unfortunately." I muttered the last part to myself._

_ I hated Monopoly. Like, with a burning passion. I mean, all it does is encourage the monopolistic ventures of corporate greed and scams. Ooh- look at me with all my fancy words and such. Besides, it's so FRICKING boring! It takes like 3 hours just to finish one game!_

_ I sighed and went to go fish out the game from its hiding spot in my room. It, um, magically walked itself to the back of my closet because it knew that no one wanted to play it. It was very strange._

_ Since Monopoly can only be played by six people, we split into teams- Tyler and I, Fang and Lizzy, Nudge and Ben, Hannah 'and Rachel', Total and Angel, and Iggy and Gazzy. Across the table, I glared at Fang. "You're goin' down, Fangles." I muttered. He just smirked and recounted his starting money- he was incredibly paranoid when it came down to games like this._

That was how this whole ordeal started, and this is how it went:

"GIVE ME MY MONEY!"

"YOU DON'T OWN THAT!"

"YES I DO! I BOUGHT IT WHEN YOU WEREN'T PAYING ATTENTION!"

"YOU'RE SUCH A LIAR! I'M NOT GIVING YOU SQUAT!"

"SHUT UP BEFORE I GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT WITH A FREAKING SPOON! YOU DON'T OWN IT! AND _YOU _ARE ON THE SPACE AFTER THAT, YOU CHEATER! NOW GO TO JAIL OR I'LL GUT YOU LIKE A FISH!"

**QUESTION OF THE CHAPTER: Where are you going on Winter Vacation? I, unfortunately, am not going anywhere.**

"Give me that one blue space for these two oranges. We both get a Monopoly then."

"Uh… okay."

"Are you CRAZY? Then he'll get the most expensive monopoly in the game! DON'T GIVE IT TO HIM!"

"Don't listen to her- it's a fair trade. Just… give it to me."

"Uh…."

"DON'T DO IT!"

"JUST GIVE TO ME! AAAAAHHHHH!" Then, he leaped across the table at her throat.

**Go check out my friend zorua's story The Take Over! :D**

"NOOOOOOOO! I'm BANKRUPT! WAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

"SHUT UP! It's JUST a GAME!"

"Just a game? JUST a GAME? THIS- IS- MONOPOLY!" He then kicked over the table.

**If you haven't already, go vote on my poll for which story I'll be writing next. This story has only three more chapters (including the most shocking, craziest, bloodiest, most unsuspected cliff hanger ending known to man- I'm dead serious.), so I need to know what you guys want me to write.**

"But _I _wanted to buy that!"

"Well too bad 'cause I did!"

"Oh yeah? How about I just take it from you?"

"Come at me, bro!"

Then she leaped over the table, hands at his throat.

**Um… read my story 'I am a Vampire'- it also has a Wondrous Waffles Contest. And it's a good story. And… that's it :)**

"I think I'm gonna burn this game." I sighed, sitting next to Fang on the couch. He chuckled and stroked my cheek.

"Come on, it wasn't that bad!" he replied.

Raising an eyebrow, I said, "Oh really? I threatened Lizzy and Gazzy with a spoon in the eye, Angel tried to disrupt your bargain with Tyler so you aimed at her throat, you kicked over the table, and Hannah tried to kill Iggy! We are NEVER playing this game again!"

"You're right. We'll stick to non-violent games."

"I'm pretty sure playing with tanks, sub-machine guns, and bazookas isn't this destructive."

**A/N: Me: Alright! One chapter down, three to go. All three are gonna be typed over winter break (WHICH STARTS IN TWO DAYS! EEEEEEEE!), and a new story will be out by New Year's Day. **

**Fang: *runs into room* B! Your cat is trying to KILL ME!**

**Me: What?**

**Fang: She leapt at my throat, vampire teeth exposed, and extra claws aimed for my jugular! SHE WENT FOR THE JUGULAR!**

**Me: I'm sure she didn't.**

**MooMoo: I don't know, B. We all know how much she hates Fang.**

**Rawr: And how psychotic she is.**

**Cat: *hisssssssss* *opens ajar door with freaky extra toe/thumb growth* *hisssssss* *jumps at Fang***

**Fang: AAAAAAAAHHHHHH! *runs around screaming with cat clawing on his head***

**Me: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is SO funny! I LOVE that cat! Fact: My mom is sometimes my sub in school O.O R&R guys, the more reviews you do the more waffles you get! [#] Mmmmm, yummy.**


	42. Thanksgiving

**A/N: Me: Merry Christmas!**

**MooMoo: Happy Hanukkah!**

**Rawr: Happy Kwanzaa!**

**Fang: You do realize that two of those are already past, right? **

**Me: Shut up, Fang. Your mom.**

**Fang: What? That doesn't even make sense!**

**Me: Your mom doesn't make sense!**

**Fang: You are so dumb.**

**Me: Says the guy who couldn't figure out how to open his Christmas present.**

**Fang: It was wrapped with super-strength duct tape!**

**Me: Wah wah wah, go cry about it. You're lucky I got you one.**

**Fang: It was black lipstick and eyeliner -.-**

**Me: You're welcome! Fact: I got the entire series of Lost on DVD! My life is now complete :D**

November 22, 2017 (I found the real date :3)

Max POV

I groaned at the smell of the two turkeys, four pies (two pumpkin, one pecan, and one cherry), three bowls of cranberry sauce, two bowls of stuffing, two huge bowls of mashed potatoes, two veggie platters, two bowls of fruit salad, three pans of jello, and four loaves of pumpkin bread in the kitchen. I mean, they were just _begging_ to be eaten!

"Guys, can I PLEASE have just ONE piece of pie?" I begged, mouth dripping like an Eraser's. I tried to sneakily reach for the cherry pie, but my mom whacked my hand with the salad spoon while Iggy yelled "NO! For the twenty-third time, no!"

Groaning extra loud, I stomped out of the kitchen and plopped down on the couch. Or, at least, what I thought was the couch.

"OOF!" I heard the breath rush out of someone, and I shot up off the burgundy fabric. Underneath me, where there had once been nothing but couch, was now a winded and very angry Fang. "Uh, sorry." I said, raising my arms in a shrug.

He wordlessly glared at me, smelling the food and not being able to eat it making him grumpy. "Fine, Mr. Grumpypants. But don't blame me for you sitting there with your invisibility on! That's_ your_ problem, buddy. Besides, I just want some food!" Shoving his feet onto the ground, I sat down on the couch, pouting.

Fang's expression softened a bit, and he smirked. "Now looks who's grumpy." he murmured, his voice a deep rumble. He hooked an arm around my shoulders and I cuddled into his side, surreptitiously inhaling deeply.

Fang smelled _a-maz-ing_. He smelled like… like… cinnamon spicy, with a hint of lemony stuff and a boyish smell- you know, sweat and dirty clothes. But I _loved_ it. That's why his side of the closet is always so strangely empty. Tee hee.

He rubbed little circles in between my wings, and I sighed happily. God, how could life be any better than _this_?

All of a sudden, two feathery atom bombs landed right on us, almost snapping my back. I'm not even kidding. Moaning and holding my back, I picked myself up off the floor, glaring at… my kids.

Oh yeah- _that's_ how life gets better. Note the sarcasm. Annoying kids.

"What?" I said crossly.

"Ian's family is here!" Lizzy cried, making the couch invisible in her excitement.

"Yea! And they brought more food!" Tyler yelled, his swinging feet just a blur of motion.

"OK, thanks." I said. A moment went by. "OK, _thank you for telling us_." Another moment. "OK you can GO now!"

Lizzy giggled, and Tyler stage whispered "Mommy wants to make out Daddy!" They both burst out laughing and ran away, Tyler disappearing with his speed. The doorbell rang, and I heard them answer it.

Sitting down on the couch, I rubbed my temples. "I'm gonna kill Iggy."

But then I heard the wondrous sound of him calling "Dinner!"

"Never mind I love him!" I screamed as I flew into the dining room. I sat down in my chair, bouncing up and down in my impatience. When no one came and sat down in the next millisecond, "HURRY UP AND SIT DOWN! I WANT TO EAT!" I screamed.

People sauntered in one by one, laughing or scowling in fake annoyance at my yelling. Fang, Lizzy, Tyler, Nudge, Ben, Iggy, Gazzy holding Rachel, Hannah, Angel, Matt, Ian's parents, Ian, Ella, Jack, Total, Akila… and Jeb. I wasn't too happy about that last. Talk about a buzzkill. Whatever. I'll just keep my eyes on the food in front of me, and not even talk to him. It happens every year. He just never gets the hint. What a dumbsh*t.

At long last- and I mean VERY LONG LAST- everyone was seated, and we started passing the plates around the table. And believe me, when you're sitting at a table set for 20- Total and Akila ate on the floor- that was so long it took up the whole dining room and part of the kitchen, it took FOR-E-_VER_!

I think I actually whimpered when a pillowy mound of mashed potatoes* was just sitting on my plate, calling to me, but not able to be eaten.

Once everyone had a huge plate of food- and I mean _huge_ on my part- we sat and waited for my mom to start a little prayer thing before eating. My folded hands were wet with my drool.

But, before she even uttered a word, Iggy took his fork, stabbed a hunk of turkey, and went to eat it. But my mom took the carving knife and literally stabbed his hand to the table. "We have to pray first!" she scolded.

Iggy let out a pained cry. "JESUS CHRIST!" he yelled, pulling out the 6 inch knife from his hand.

"Amen. Let's eat!"* my mom said, digging in.

Iggy grimaced, focused on healing the gash in his hand. It's his own fault- this is the fifth year in a row that he tries to eat before prayer and gets stabbed. I think my mom stabs him because he can heal himself**, and that she wouldn't go as far as to stab another flock member. I hope.

"So GOOD!" I moaned as I ate, scarfing down the food so fast my throat hurt. Fang snickered to my right, and I kicked him under the table. I had the satisfaction of seeing his smirk turn into a frown of pain.

The next hour and a half was spent with a talking to eating ratio of about 1:9. If not more eating. But that's okay- I always spit half chewed food all over whoever I'm talking to when I'm eating. What can I say- I'm pretty classy.

But there was one, tiny, _little_ thing that happened. Rachel ate a fork.

I know, I know- she's just a baby, she barely has her teeth. But she legit _ate _a _fork_.

She was sitting in a high chair, shrieking, throwing mashed potatoes everywhere like the little savage she is, and then she picks up her little baby fork. You know the ones that are metal but with wavy, colorful plastic handles? She picks it up, looks at it, and then completely bites off all three tongs!

At first I thought I was the only one to see it, and that it was a hallucination from the starting food-coma. But then I saw that Hannah was staring wide-eyed at her baby, and that Fang had stopped mid-chew to watch her.

"Gazzy! Your daughter just ate a fork!" I yelled, pointing at the bitten-off fork in Rachel's hand. Gazzy looked at her just in time to see her bite off half of the plastic handle. His jaw dropped (thanks for the visual of your meal, Gaz), and he just stared for a minute.

But then he smiled, and proclaimed proudly "My girl has a power!"

I shook my head- that's just what we needed. A baby running around eating silverware.

***- If you can tell me where this is from, I'll give you three extra waffles.**

****- I don't know if you remember it, but each flock member got a new power at the beginning of the story, and this was Iggy's- healing. They kind of fell into a ginormous plot-hole, along with the Voice and the dogs. My bad :/**

**Rachel's power is eating anything, in case you couldn't tell. Gasman's funky digestive system did something to her.**

**Question of the Chapter: How did you spend Christmas (or other Winter Holiday)? I spent my Christmas shooting a BB gun and a pellet pistol, riding an ATV, watching Thor and Cowboys vs. Aliens, and all without internet (that's why I didn't post 'til now) or television. Yup- I'm just that cool.**

**I posted a new story called "Just Seahorsin' Around". It's humor/parody, and it's about Fang and… well… you'll see. So go read it and give it love! It's a second (late) Christmas present for you lovely peoples.**

"So… much… food…." I groaned, cradling my protesting stomach. All the mutant bird-kids (plus Ian and Matt- I guess they eat like us) were sprawled out on the floor in the living room, digesting our ginormous meal and trying not to do anything strenuous. Like sitting up.

Iggy moaned loudly and theatrically from the other side of the couch. "I'm dying!"

"Shut up, Iggy, this is all your fault!" Nudge yelled from on top of the coffee table. "Now I won't be able to fit in my jeans for a week!"

"Shut up, Nudge, you know how fast we burn calories. It'll all be gone in, like, a day." Angel said from _under _the coffee table.

"Can all of you just shut up? I'm trying to enjoy my food coma." Ian called out from in front of the TV stand.

Matt nodded his approval from in front of the loveseat, and Fang snored from the couch above me. Stupid knuckle head got there first.

Lizzy and Tyler shared the loveseat, Ben was behind it, and Gazzy was stretched out on the recliner.

"Come on, guys, help me clean up." My mom said from the kitchen.

"NOOOOOOO!"

**A/N: Me: I hope that chapter was good enough to make up for the wait!**

**Fang: Nope.**

**MooMoo: Shut up, Fang.**

**Rawr: Go put on your emo make-up.**

**Me: Hey, at least my present was better than Sister's.**

**Fang: This is true. She tried to kill me… again.**

**Me: Yea… she got ahold of a knife somehow.**

**Fang: She had it at my throat while I was napping, and B came in just in time.**

**Me: We really need to get her some more help. Fact: I HATE milk. Like, I can't **_**stand**_** it. Even chocolate. That's why I'm so short. Anyway- so happy holidays (whatever they may be). R&R for waffles. Read my new story. Buh-bye!**


	43. Housing

**A/N: Me: Hey everybody, what's up? I, for one, am not enjoying life at the moment.**

**Fang: *eye roll* Here we go again.**

**Me: Shut up! I wasn't going to ramble on- you guys don't care anyway. But let's just say that I'm super busy, tired, and getting sick.**

**Fang: You know, maybe if you let me free, your life will get better.**

**Me: How does that even make sense?**

**Fang: …Still working on that.**

**MooMoo: You're really stupid, Fang.**

**Rawr: Yea. If there was a law against stupidity, you would be in jail getting butt-raped this very minute.**

**Fang: Lovely picture.**

**Me: Too true, too true. Fact: The bunny in our pre-vet class had 5 babies very early this morning/last night. One was born dead, one suffocated 'cause the membrane wasn't taken off, and the mom bunny isn't really taking care of them. So we dissected the dead ones and are carefully watching the other three.**

**Fact: What kind of a person are you?**

**Me: … No one really knows.**

December 12, 2017

Max POV

"I can't stand it anymore! I just can't take it! Max, we're moving out." Nudge stormed into my room, throwing a complete hissy fit.

I sighed, lifting my head from Fang's lap. "What happened, Nudge?" I swear, this drama queen threatens to move out of this "totally un-cool crampish suckish living space" every other day.

"Gazzy says that since he didn't have enough space in his room for his and Iggy's new giant bomb-" I raised my eyebrows at that one, but she trucked on. "-he shoved it in Iggy's and my room! And then it leaked some poo smelling fluid all over my_ clothes_! My. CLOTHES!"

I pinched the bridge of my nose, counting to ten, exhaling slowly. Unfortunately, that never works for me. Too much angst, or whatever. "Nudge, we've been over this. There's nowhere for you to go, no houses for sale, no money to buy it with. Besides, we have to stay together. We're family." This was always the same argument, bippidy blah blah blah.

"I mean it this time, Max. Iggy, Ben, and I are moving. There is, in fact, three houses up and down this same street that are for sale. So, I'm going to buy one. And you can't do anything to stop me!"

My mouth dropped open. "B-b-but… how are you going to afford it?" HA! Take that, miss I-hate-my-mother-older-sister-figure-and-want-to-rebel-while-also-pissing-her-off-royally.

"We're pretty much celebrities, remember? Besides, we have a LOT of money saved up from CSM stuff. Actually… my stuff is already being packed." she added, a bit sheepish.

My mouth dropped open, dumbfounded by this. Fang nudged me with an elbow, sending me an eye-message. _Let her go- it's only down the street. It'll be okay_. He's always the marshmallow in these situations. It makes me want to punch him in the nuts for being such a pansy. But it's rare that I listen to him. I mean, he is male.

My eyes stung a bit, but I turned towards Nudge, planning on reasoning with her. But I stall when I see Hannah walk up behind her."What's up?" I asked easily, trying to hide my annoyance at this whole situation.

Hannah hesitated, then said softly, "I heard what Nudge was saying… and I agree. I mean… this is not a house for 12 people. So Gazzy, Rachel and I are going to also move into one of the houses down the street."

I'm pretty sure that my blood pressure was rising, and my eyes were popping out. "You too?" I gasp. I liked Hannah. Lik_ed_.

She nodded, biting her lip. "I'm… gonna go pack." She hurried away, probably trying to escape me before my laser glare burned her face off. Nudge also took the moment to beat a hasty retreat.

Groaning, I leaned back against Fang, rubbing my temples. "What's up their butts?"

I felt Fang shrug. "They just feel different about this house than you do. You, maybe Iggy, and I think its fine. We had longer to live and learn to appreciate the small things in the dog cages. But they still don't like these small spaces, and Hannah has never had to live like this. Give them a break. Besides, it's only down the street. You'll still see them every day."

"What did you do with the silent, emo, macho, stupid Fang?" I muttered. Fang chuckled while sticking his middle finger into my field of vision.

Then Angel pranced in, stopping in the doorway. "Max! Matt and I are g-"

"Let me guess- you guys hate living in these horrid conditions in the house, and want to move out- while living together for the first time, I might add- into one of the three houses that are for sale just down the street?" I snapped, glaring at her through my fingers.

Angel's smile decreased in size. "Hey, I thought I was the mind reader around here."

I swear steam just shot out of my ears and my blood was literally boiling in my veins. "WHAT IS THIS, EVERYONE HATE ON MAX DAY? JEEZ, EVERYBODY'S BAILING ON ME! I SWEAR I WANT TO KILL ALL OF YOU WITH A DULL, RUSTY KNIFE IN YOUR SLEEP!" I screamed.

"Geez, chill Max! Switch to decaf or something!" Fang said, surreptitiously tightening his hold on my heaving shoulders.

Angel slowly backed away into the hallway, eyes wide, and hands in the defense position.

I turned around and punched Fang in the nuts. "Pansy."

**A/N: Me: Sorry that was so short and boring. But next chapter will be so epic that you will literally have your mind blown and you will s**t bricks.**

**Fang: Do you always have to have weird analogies?**

**Me: …*whacks with a weasel***

**Fang: *thump***

**MooMoo: What was that for?**

**Me: Meh, I didn't want to hear him talk anymore. Besides, I haven't hit him in a while. He needs a reminder of why I'm the boss.**

**Rawr: …okay….**

**Me: Fact: I start driving in less than two weeks :D Okay- make sure to read next chapter- it will literally make you make a poopoo platter. See ya!**


	44. The End

**A/N: Me: For this very special last chapter, we have a guest with us today!**

**Fang: For the love of God, just kill me now!**

**Sister: ! It's me, b****es!**

**Me: HEY! There will be no f*cking cussing in my author's note!**

**Fang: You are such a retard.**

**Sister: THAT IS OFFENSE TO MY RACE! **

**Fang: What is this… I don't even….**

**Me: Don't even try, Fang. Don't even try. Fact: Sister's favorite hobby is to bite Fang and Fang. Constantly. OUCH GOD D*MNIT! STOP THAT!**

**Sister: NEVEEEEER! THIS IS SPARTA B*TCH!**

**Fang: Can we just get on with your "bloody and totally insane cliffhanger ending"?**

**Me: Yup! And Sister's gonna help me write it, so it'll be extra messed up!**

**Fang: Oh dear god.**

**Sister: D*mn straight ye butt munch! **

November 28, 2019 (time jump, peoples, there's a time jump)

Max POV

Everything was perfect. Life was good, meals were big (thank the lord for takeout and Iggy's 'catering', 'cause without him in the house Fang, the twins and I would've starved two years ago), summers were warm, school was easy for the twins, Fang and I were doing great…

It was so much different than my life ten years ago. If someone had asked me- at the age of 15- where I saw myself in ten years, I would definitely not say "Lounging on the beach, Fang rubbing my back, watching my two twin children play in the water, eating a popsicle." (which is what we do all the time in the summer). I would've said dead or running for my life.

And now it was another Thanksgiving, where we all would gather together for some amazing cooking, cool stories, funny jokes, fond memories, all that junk. Everyone was living in their respective houses; Total and Akila had another litter of puppies, except that our family got to keep this one (each house gets one puppy); Lizzy, Tyler, and Jack are all in elementary school getting good grades; Ben's having fun in preschool; and Angel is engaged to Matt.

Little did I know that soon, all these happy feelings would be gone forever.

**Question of the Chapter: Do you think that the world will end this year? I vote no. **

**Hey! Hey! Look at me! Hey! Hey! Listen! Hey! Hey! Read the bottom A/N. And the top. Top for funniness (hopefully), and bottom for information.**

Fang POV

I was sitting on the loveseat next to Max, with Tyler on my lap and Lizzy on hers. Ella, Ian, and Dr. M were on the couch; Matt and Angel were squished into the armchair; Ian's mom and dad had dragged chairs over from the dining room; Iggy and Nudge were leaning against the couch; and Gazzy and Hannah (holding Rachel) were on the floor leaning on the TV stand. Ben and Jack were playing around the coffee table with Total, Akila, and the six puppies.

"Hey, listen to this one- what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training!" Iggy cracked, and even the blondes in the room laughed.

My laugh was cut short by the wall being smashed in. By a wrecking ball. "What the f*ck?" Nudge screamed.

Through the rubble and dust walked a figure. A man- in a white coat, probably 6'3", 250 lbs, all of it muscle. He was African American, and he had on wire rimmed glasses. He walked with a slight limp, favoring his left ankle…. Holy mother f*cking sh*t! Dr. Mathias!

I thought he was supposed to be fnicking dead! I mean… Max shoved his nose into his brain, and then we blew up the building! What kind of a monster could survive that? We thought he was out of our lives for good!

"Maximum… how good to see you!" he said, as if he was greeting a long lost friend. He raised his right fist, and in seconds, our house was surrounded by people head to toe in black, all carrying nunchucks, katanas, or rapiers, and I swear I saw one with a bazooka.

The first one to unfreeze from the shock, I then flipped over the coffee table, crouched down behind it, and ran with it, flipping over other furniture items to reveal weapons to even out the sides. I looked up after grabbing several knifes to see Dr. Mathias fully enter the living room, totally trigger-happy. I started throwing the knives after I saw Hannah get a stomach full of lead. All avian-americans also grabbed weapons and started kicking a*s, even Gazzy, who was more than a little shell-shocked and anguished. Men in black were falling to the floor, but I knew I had seen right when one stepped in with a bazooka. The blast gave a flash of light and illuminated Akila as she was thrown into the air- on fire- and then blown to chunks.

A well-aimed bullet from Iggy pierced bazooka-man, and that was the end of that. Then I started using anything I could get my hands on to kill them. A lamp, a kitchen knife, a baseball bat, my bare hands, a sock, a laptop, my bare hands, and even the handle of a severed knife. Whenever I could, I would send a blistering wave of fire or a sheet of ice towards anyone in all black.

Fresh sadness washed over me as I saw Ben get stabbed. The man stabbed him in the back, twisting and shoving, until Ben dropped to the floor. His eyes met mine, and mouthed the words '_Watch daddy, okay?',_ and then he was gone.

I saw Iggy throw five people in rapid succession out the window as he saw his dead son. Tears ran down his dirty face, and he flying tackled the man that had killed him, incapacitating him and throwing him down the stairs after giving him numerous eviscerations. Iggy was going to make him pay, and the man knew it.

Meanwhile, Total was guarding Akila's dead body, ripping chunks of flesh off in his mouth. I also saw Gazzy rip someone's head off, literally. But all of a sudden, I knew something was wrong. I had this feeling wash over me, and I turned around. There was Dr. Matthias, and in slow motion, I saw the knife swing down in an arc, delving deep into Dr. M's neck.

Everything seemed to freeze as I heard Max scream- a long, unbroken scream of grief and heartbreak. I wanted to rip the evil creature into pieces with my teeth, but I knew that he was Max's victim. The most I could do was tie him up for later, and punch him a few times- VERY HARD- which is exactly what I did.

As I was coming back from the basement, I opened the door to about ten or so men in black left. I jumped on one and sawed his head off with a hacksaw I had grabbed, and looked up to see something I would never think I would see. Angel was pinned to the floor, eyes blank and unseeing, a small trickle of blood seeping from her mouth.

Ella shrieked as one of her best friends lay dead, and because of this, Ian let out an anguished scream and ran towards the man, and I ran to intercept him. But I was too late, as the murderer turned around and used the same knife he killed Angel with to stab Ian in the spine. Ian slumped to the floor next to Angel, their blood mixing together. Ella was smarter and killed the man as silently as possible, but very bloodily.

As Max and Iggy took care of the last few, a terrible silence fell around the wrecked and bloody house.

**Me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SUCKAS! **

**Fang: That was terrible! Why would you end something called 'The Beautiful Life' with a mass slaughtering?**

**Me: Fangles, dear, there is no better way to end a story than with a cliffhanger. And I do love my bloodbaths.**

**Sister: Wait, is there another way to end a story? And anything from "smashed in by a wrecking ball" on was written by moi, with slight alterations from Sissy. You are all very welcome for the bloodbath.**

**Fang: You kind of ruined the whole basis of the story with this last chapter, you know.**

**Sister: Shut the f*ck up b*tch.**

**Me: Enough with the god d*mn language. And Fang, just go sit in your emo corner and cut yourself.**

**Sister: Yeah, Fangles, go to TIME-OUT! **

**Fang: I hate you both. So much. **

**Me: Good. Hate is a passionate feeling. Fact: I entered the Smosh Fort Breakout contest. I hope I win, and then I can go meet them :3**

**Sister: Now, for my last speech on La Belle Vie. I hate all of you, and I would like to murder you in your sleep. Except Sierra165, who has the best language I have ever seen. Thank you for having me on this (very stupid) story. Good-night.**

**Me: … rude. Anyway. For one last, sweet, sweet time- R&R? I KNOW you have something to say about that chapter. I just know it. Besides, it's the last chapter of the story. Give it some love. I'll post the thank-you letter Sunday or Monday.**


	45. Thank You

**Me: Oh my God guys. I'm legit crying because this is over. I don't know what to do with myself now that I don't have a 45 chapter story to write :*(**

**Fang: Write another one *rolls eyes***

**Me: I know! I'll write another story!**

**Fang: *facepalm***

**Me: I'll save my whole, heartfelt goodbye for the end. But now, I'm gonna respond to some reviews to the last chapter, just because they're freaking hilarious. Especially when you scroll down the reviews, and all you see is this-**

**WHAT THE F*CK**

**WHAT THE F*CK**

**WHAT THE F*CK**

**WHAT THE F*CK **

**XD**

(This person's "name" has been blocked out to protect ID): holy f*cking sh*t you both are a pair of b*stards  
>you ruined a perfectly made fanfiction<br>you b*tches, you... YOU ARE THE ONES WHO SHOULD GO TO TIME OUT  
>I will hate your and your stupid "sister's" f*cking guts for eternity<br>now that i know what you can do, i will NEVER read ANYTHING FROM YOU, EVER  
>im serious<br>it was nice to have been reading your story, but YOU HAD US WAITING FOR THIS SH*TTY UPDATE?  
>i will kill you in your sleep<br>just like the wh*re of your sister said...  
>in fact, she's gonna be the first to die<br>then goes YOU  
>good bye...<br>...FOREVER

**Me: Wow… someone has some anger problems. This was really rude and uncalled for. Not only did you call us nasty names (for really no reason at all) and insult the story that I worked so hard on, you didn't even have the balls to leave your real name. People like you shouldn't even be on this planet, let alone on this site.**

**Sister: *poofs in* I've decided to take you off the planet. I will track you down, pull all your limbs off one by one, and then I'm gonna feed you your fingers. Who's the wh*re now, b*tch? And you can try to kill me, but I'd rip your head off first. *poofs out***

**Me: O.o**

Fang'.: u just broke my heart! D:  
>how could u? how could u do this 2 us? :(<br>the story's called La Belle Vie, isnt it?  
>well that ending, let me tell u, its not 'Belle' or whatever.<br>i literally cried with all that masacre going on... :''''''(  
>poor birdkids!*<br>right now, i hate u sooo much...  
>AHEM. let me repeat:<br>HOW. COULD. U?  
>~ M!Ra<p>

**I'm sorry :( I just couldn't help myself. *shrug***

Drive-Like-A-Cullen: WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT? you both ruined the story. it was so nice and all but then you go BOOM! gore. blood. massacre. kill everybody.  
>I almost cried when Ben died and Iggy was crying while fighting like a maniac. poor thing. :(<br>like I just said, you totally RU-INED La Belle Vie. now I hate you both. so much. to death.  
>figure those last sentences out.<br>but, I mean, seriously? why did you do it? are you PMSing or something?

**Nope. I just wanted some extra excitement to send it off with a bang.**

MisoSoup8D: THATS IT! I QUIT LIFE. I QUIT F*CKING LIFE. D*mn you guys...the mental ward is calling. They want you guys back. Disturbed...

**Meh- they call Sister every day trying to find her again. And yes, we are.**

swimmer4evr: What the f***! Y would you do that uggghhh i hate you! No! You killed everyone pretty much! Agghhhhh! F*** you! Well at least fang survived *sigh*!

**Yea… I could never really kill off Fang. At least not in this story… ******major hint to next oneshot********

Flygrrl: WHAT THE F*CK! THIS IS THE WORST F*CKING ENDING I'VE EVER READ! YOU TOTALLY F*CKED IT UP! WHY DID YOU KILL EVERYONE? I AM SO F*CKING PISSED AT YOU! HOW DARE YOU!

**I'm the author… I can do whatever the f*ck I want lulz XD**

Sabrina Collette James: WHAT THE FUCK! THAT WAS SOO WIERD!

**Why, thank you.**

Bacon is Love: I absolutelt loved the story. At first when i read this chapter, i was kind of hoping that it was going to be a gag chapter, abd i found it very suprising. Is there going to be a sequal? Love it and Sister is hilarious!

**Thanks for the compliments :D And no, sadly, at this point there is no sequel plans :(**

Zakiyya: the only love i give for this story is killing angel. you could have killed Ella, i mean she's useless, but it's not my story. anyways, WTF? are you just having a bad day or something?

**I actually had a pretty bad week, but that's not why I wrote it. And I agree about Angel, and I was gonna kill Ella, but I figured one (Ian) from each family's good.**

ASFAOESHF: I AGREE WITH FANG THIS IS SO DEPRESSING YOU KILLED 4 PEOPLE INCLUDING A CHILD  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY  
>WHY<br>WHY

**The story was too boring. Needed some spice.**

Zorua: Me: First off I'm glad Angel went to bed early tonight; and secondly I haven't seen a battle so bloody, since my last battle with the stormcloaks in skyrim.  
>Maya: You know I'm getting rather sick of that analogy.<br>Me: *Raise eyebrow* And what are you going to do about it?  
>Maya: I want a fight with skyrim weapons.<br>Me: I can do you one better; I'll bring dragons into the fight.  
>White: How?<br>Me: I'm an author; we have that kind of power. Now... *claps* we fight! (Maya and I appear in the backs if two dragons a view and arrows in her hands an two swords in mine.) N, your in charge of healing us. (The dragons rise into the air.)  
>White: *yelling* Zorua, what do you want Candace and I to do?<br>Me: Their fireballs into the air like fireworks; this WAS suppose to be a cerebration for B's awesome story.  
>Candace: Um... If you say so.<br>Maya: You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this!  
>(I push my dragon making it fly closer to the one maya is on, trying to get close enough to attack; only to serve avoiding one of the fireballs conjured by White. Frustrated I swoop back in fire a second try, this time nicking Maya. She narrows her eyes knocking an arrow and taking Turning my head, I watch watch an arrow sail by the tip of my nose.)<br>Maya: Is the doggy angry?  
>Maya: My character is the werewolf not me.<br>Me: Right now you're one and the same.  
>Maya: So that would mean you're a vampire right now?<br>Me: Yes, yes it would. (I suddenly have to duck avoiding a fireball thrown directly at me.) Candace don't do that! You know what? It's time to end this!  
>(I jump off my dragon taking an arrow to the knee in the process. Landing on Maya's dragon I drive one of my swords into it's back; throwing the other sword into the throat if my dragon; both promptly vanish in a puff of smoke sending us into a free fall.)<br>Candace: Since White and N are catching our free falling idiots I'll sign off; this is Angel, Maya, Zorua, N, White, and I signing off for le bella vie.

**That was a pretty epic battle right there :D**

TwiPotterHungerRidePercyLiars: I can't believe you ended it that way! I hate it!

**I have a feeling most people felt that way….**

Eptasticawesomeriffic: Is is bad to say I laughed at this chapter? Because its just sweet, sweet, sweet, swe-BAM! Blood. It was really sad though...

**Haha Sister and I laughed. O.O what?... **

GreekHuntress: I vote no on the Question of the Chapter, but...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...  
>Are you going to say, 'Just kidding?'<p>

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...  
>I'm hoping that Fang was dreaming all of this...<p>

...

...  
>(just pretend I do this for the rest of the day...)<p>

...  
>(etc.)<p>

**Thanks for still answering the question! And no, no I'm not.**

Random1324: 〒-〒  
>That is all<br>～Random

**Haha I think that's your shortest review ever! In response: \(-.-)/ (shrug)**

Sierra156: I... I do? Really? :D Unless I'm stupid and there's another Sierra156. Or that wasn't a typo. (But I searched Sierra165 on here so I wouldn't feel stupid if she existed. She doesn't... And this is really fucking awkward.)  
>Anyway.<br>Um. That was kinda... Out of the blue. And weird. And just an overall strange, extremely bloody, violent, sad, gory ending.  
>In other words, I LOVED IT.<br>Yeah! I said it! There's been enough fluffy adorable stuff in this fic to compensate for practically everybody dying!Besides, IT WAS AWESOME AND THERE WERE BAZOOKAS!  
>Bazookas, bacon, and boys. The three staples.<br>A truly epic end to a truly epic-fucking-sauce bacontastic-ass story. (Excuse the way I can't seem to articulate how awesome this is without swearing.) So thank you, Sister, for the blood and guys, and thank you, B, for all of the following:  
>-Being an awesome writer who writes awesome fics.<br>-Writing this thing. All of it. I loved it, and I'll miss it a whole fucking lot... But all fantabulous things must come to an end.  
>-Being so freaking funny and keeping me in stitches re whole way through!<br>-All the shirtless Fang parts. Every last one of them. Deliciousness.  
>-Every little Faxy kiss, touch, andor insane makeout session. They all made me smile. :D  
>-The whole thing where they thought Iggy was going to die. One of my favorite parts. (:<br>-I repeat: Shirtless Fang.  
>-And last, but certainly not least- in fact, the greatest:<br>Existing.

**Haha yea I think she likes all the cussing lol. And apparently she just doesn't know your username. And thanks for da lovins! **

**And DAWWWW you're gonna make me cry more!**

**Me: Sister had some choice words for that first one. **

**Fang: She was so mad she would've killed me without a second thought! **

**Me: She does that anyway.**

**Fang: Oh, right.**

**Me: Anyway! Now, something I'm sure you've all been waiting for-**

**Fang: too bad they haven't-**

**Me: The results of the Wondrous Waffles Contest! WOOOOOO! If you want to know how many you got, feel free to ask.**

THE FIFTH PLACE WINNER IS… *drumroll*... InvaderVyn! WOOOOOOO! You win an awesometastic shoutout! You don't review every chapter, but whenever you do you make me laugh! P.S. I like your username.

THE FOURTH PLACE WINNER IS… *drumroll*… Sgt. Sporky! AWWWWW YEEAAAHHH! You also win a shout out! You were a latecomer from my LOTR story, but you made up for it by being a very consistent and awesome reviewer!

THE THIRD PLACE WINNER IS… *drumroll*… zorua! He had 44 waffles. YAYYYY! You win an excerpt from an upcoming story _and _this shout out! Thank you so much for your constant support :D

THE SECOND PLACE WINNER IS… *drumroll*… Random1324! She had 48 waffles! AWESOME! You also get an exercpt and a shoutout! You are one of my most dedicated readers, and you've been there since the beginning of FF for me. Thank you :)

AND NOW… THE FIRST PLACE WINNER IS… *drumroll* *drumroll* *drumroll* *drumroll* *drumroll* *drumroll* *drumroll*… Sierra156! You win an excerpt, a shoutout, AND… I'm not sure. I guess whatever you want. Um… a Skype session with me? Um… more beta jobs (haha that's more like a punishment lol)? Um… my full name, address, and credit card number? LOL JK. I really don't know. Let me know if you think of something, okay?

Shout out: Here goes nothin'. You have got to be one of the best people I've met here on FF. You make me crack up, you give me awesome ideas, you beta my stories (and don't yell at me when I abandon them), you talk memes with me, and you cuss and yell at me until I correct my mistakes :) Stay with me, man. See ya on another story!

**Okay… here come the tears again. **

**I started this story back in May of last year. I had spent, like, a month planning it and writing an outline. I thought it was gonna be the bomb.**

**Then I realized (with some help from you guys XD) that it was gonna be boring. But you guys stuck through it, gave me happy reviews, and encouraged me the whole way through. Without such wonderful readers, this story wouldn't have gotten past five chapters. It was only made possible by your love and support. I am eternally grateful to every one of you (even flamers) :)**

**Even through the drama when I was thinking of ending it. It was purely the emotions ad reaction of you readers that kept this story going, and in the end I'm proud that I finished it. Thank you for that :)**

**Finally, to Mila- my long lost beta. I don't know if you're even still reading this, or if you hate me. You were such an awesome beta I can't even tell you. It was my fault that I stopped sending you chapters, and that's because I don't even have time to write and post these stories, let alone send them off in an extra step. But you never did a single thing wrong, and for those 10 chapters you did, I'm sure my writing improved. Thank you so, so much.**

**This is the end of La Belle Vie (for real, haha), but not the end of me or my stories. Read my other stories, spread the love, send me ideas, hit me up for conversations, ask me opinions, let me beta your story, heck you can even ask me personal and embarrassing questions for all I care :)**

**So, goodbye and goodnight, and stay in touch, you guys. Don't leave me.**

**Peace out, B, Fang, Sister, Rawr, and MooMoo.**

**We love you all so much.**


	46. A Peace Offering

Okay- everyone read this!

Obviously, a majority of you guys hate the ending. And you tell me. Constantly. Some of you have said you're not going to read my stories ever again (which doesn't make sense to me- just because one relatively 'great' story has a last chapter that you don't like, you're going to abandon the author completely?).

So- would it appease you if I wrote another ending- a happy, nice, funny ending that matches the rest of the story? Would you guys stop threatening me and cussing me out?

Let me know.


	47. Alternate Ending

**A/N: Me: Here is your d*mn happy ending. P*ssies.**

Everything was perfect. Life was good, meals were big (thank the lord for takeout and Iggy's 'catering', 'cause without him in the house, Fang, the twins and I would've starved two years ago), summers were warm, school was easy for the twins, Fang and I were doing great….

It was so much different than my life ten years ago. If someone had asked me- at the age of 15- where I saw myself in ten years, I would definitely not say "Lounging on the beach, Fang rubbing my back, watching my two twin children play in the water, eating a popsicle." (which is what we do all the time in the summer). I would've said dead or running for my life.

And now it was another Thanksgiving, where we all would gather together for some amazing cooking, cool stories, funny jokes, fond memories, all that junk. Everyone was living in their respective houses; Total and Akila had another litter of puppies, except that our family got to keep this one (each house gets one puppy); Lizzy, Tyler, and Jack are all in elementary school getting good grades; Ben's having fun in preschool; and Angel is engaged to Matt.

I was sitting on the loveseat next to Fang, with Tyler on my lap and Lizzy on his. Ella, Ian, and Mom were on the couch; Matt and Angel were squished into the armchair; Ian's mom and dad had dragged chairs over from the dining room; Iggy and Nudge were leaning against the couch; and Gazzy and Hannah (holding Rachel) were on the floor leaning on the TV stand. Ben and Jack were playing around the coffee table with Total, Akila, and the six puppies.

"Hey, listen to this one- what happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training!" Iggy cracked, and even the blondes in the room laughed.

"Hey, hey- yo' mama is so ugly, she looked outside and got arrested for mooning!" Gazzy said, cracking up at his own joke. Iggy good naturedly threw a pillow at him.

"If a quiz is quizzical, what's a test?" Fang said, already grinning.

"Oh! I know! Testic-" Nudge piped from the floor. Luckily, Ella slapped a hand on her mouth from above before she finished the word, and I smacked Fang on the head.

"Fang, you're such an idiot." He shrugged, still smiling. I rolled my eyes.

Iggy coughed loudly. "Me thinks that the children doth have to go unto bed…eth." he said, trying (and failing epically) to sound smart.

"It's only 9." Mom said.

"Yea, but I think the adults should have some time alone to… play." he replied. Every male's eyebrow went up, and they all made noises of agreement and nodded vigorously.

My mom seemed to catch the drift. Raising her hands as if to say "I don't wanna know", she ushered the complaining children down the hall to the bathroom.

"Come here, Nudge." Iggy promptly started to eat Nudge's face off, making R-rated sounds. Didn't need to see that.

Angel and Matt looked at each other, shrugged, and then started to suck each other's faces off. Ugh. Hard to believe that was my baby Angel.

Gazzy and Hannah were already having a little mini-groping fest over in their corner. Huh- who knew that quiet redhead would have so many hormones…. Oh wait, all redheads are dumb b*tches. Well… I guess I can't say that about Rachel… but still… I hate all other redheads.

Fang just sat and stared at me, trying (and failing epically) to make puppy dog eyes. I sighed. "Alright." He gave me a quick grin before grabbing and latching on to me.

His hands rubbed circles on my back, a bit too rough, but hey- who am I to complain? My hands involuntarily grabbed his hair (which needs a haircut… again), and I scooted onto his lap.

I bit gently on his bottom lip, and he groaned quietly. He stopped rubbing circles and just crushed my body to his, almost squeezing the life out of me.

Yup- life. Was. Good.

**A/N: Me: Happy ending. Fax. Voila. For the third (and hopefully final) time, the end of La Belle Vie.**


	48. Facebook Page!

Hey everyone! I just wanted to let everyone know that I have created a Facebook page, so go and like it right now!

You'll receive funny quotes and sayings, crazy sh*t that happens to us, updates on stories, hints to upcoming stories, polls, and another way to ask me questions and talk to me!

Just search It's Fnicking Awesomeness- it's the only one!

P.S. Names and such will not be used creepily/scarily/for spamming/etc.


	49. Tumblr Blog!

Hello MR Fans! This is an announcement that I have created a Tumblr blog. Not just any Tumblr blog- a Maximum Ride role play group blog.

What this means is you can go on Tumblr, and message me as a MR character (or an OC- I don't care) and our characters can talk, interact, and have adventures and stuff.

I know it sounds kinda dumb, but trust me- it's not. I'm already part of an Avengers role play group, and it's so much fun writing as your favourite character while interacting with your other favourite characters.

For an example of an amazing role play group, go here (no spaces, obviously): kneel-to-your-king. tumblr

So, what I would like you guys to do, is go on Tumblr and create an account of a MR character (or make your own mutant, white coat, or whatever!) and then message and follow me at 'please-do-not-fang-bang' (I'm a Fang, hehe). Then send me an ask, and out characters will do stuff!

If you already have a Tumblr, you can still interact with me as that, or just make another one using a different email (I, for one, have three different accounts :3).

I have never seen anything like this for the Maximum Ride fandom, so I think it could be really big and could be so much fun! Thanks so much!


End file.
